I can't believe I am about to write this but....for once I agree with David Cameron

Yes, I know, I know, this would ordinarily be one of the sure-fire signs that the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse are on the horizon, but in a recent speech Britain's PM David Cameron suggested that 'multi-culturalism" has failed, and that there needs to be a greater focus on a British national identity, and I wholeheartedly agree with him.

I'll let that sink in for a minute before I continue. No, I haven't lost my mind, and no, my blog hasn't been hijacked, this is just one of those rare occurrences where my opinion on immigration aligns itself with someone who, for once, seems to be talking common sense.

I know a little about this subject personally because I am an immigrant myself. My situation is somewhat different than the one David Cameron refers to because I emmigrated to the US from the UK, a country that is very similar in many respects to my homeland although the two are separated by a common language, but I am still an immigrant in a foreign country and the same rules apply. I am a guest here.

In America the main bugaboo about immigrants is that they swarm over the border, steal all the jobs, (as though red-neck honkies from coast-to-coast are knocking down the doors to be bus-boys, dishwashers and fruit-pickers only to be cruelly denied by those dastardly immigrants) and as soon as 'they' get here they sign up for free benefits anyway. Other than the fact that all three of those reasons are massive exaggerations, the over-riding concern from Joe Six-Pack is about how much that all costs and not that the 'guests' have become radical hate-mongers inciting violence against their hosts.

This isn't the case in Britain though. For far too long in the UK they have been cowed by the immigrants' threats and demands to have things their own way and in many instances, regardless of how far the hosts have actually gone to try and accomodate their agitated and vocal guests, in return there has been nothing but hostility, rage and rancor. All of this has seemed (at least to me anyway) to have been completely ass-backwards. Look, I am all for compromise and a sharing of cultural values, but common sense tells you that you don't move into someone else's house and then demand that they re-decorate the place, change the dinner menu, and give you the remote for the telly...When you emigrate to another country you are their guest and you should learn their manners and customs. If they choose to learn and share yours, fine, but you don't get to dictate that they must abide by the rules and customs you have imported from your homeland. If it was that fucking great there, why not go back? So dear guests, if you're going to stay, please stay off the grass, don't drop your fag-ash on the carpet and keep your feet off the furniture if you don't mind. You might not like them, but we do have a few rules to live by.

Now I really do need a lie down before I agree with anything else that little twerp says...

Super Bore XXXCCMMMLLLXXXVVVIIII...or how Jeremy Clarkson saved my sanity...

As a Bears fan there really wasn't much of a reason to watch yesterday's big game, the hated Packers were there instead of Da Bears because our massively over-paid quarterback got a boo-boo mid-way through the championship game and didn't want to play anymore lest he get really hurt, and the Steelers were being led on the field by a guy who, allegedly, has more than a little difficulty understanding what the word 'no' means when said out loud by a woman...With neither team being much inspiration to sit through the 3 1/2 hour broadcast of stop-start-stop-action that is the modern game of American Football, interrupted by frequent commercial breaks and coaches challenges as it is, the final straw for me was the network doing the broadcast. It was Fox. And Joe Buck was the lead announcer.

I decided to find alternate entertainment.

As luck would have it BBC America was running back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back (you get the idea) episodes of Top Gear, all day long. Whoever came up with that idea should be Knighted. Immediately. I thought I couldn't hate anyone more fiercely than the white-hot hatred I have for Bob Costas of NBC, but sweet jesus Joe Buck, the number one announcer for Fox Sports, really just sets me off. He's yet another smug bastard in a long-line of never-played-a-sport-in-my-life, always-picked-last-when-it-was-PE, know-it-all smart arses that somehow manage to weasel their way into prime spots on the airwaves in this country. He would be a used car salesman if it weren't for his old man, and yet this prissy little git speaks as though he knows from personal experience what it's like to have been on the field of play. He's the kind of guy that was born on third base, and thought that he hit a triple.

In other words, a total arsehole.

So, the thought of watching two teams I could give a crap about, on a network I despise, commentated on by America's largest walking rectum would have sent me straight over the cliffs of sanity if it had not been for the endless repeats of Clarkson et al on the Beeb. Thanks lads! That was a close one.

The Republican Party...your ticket back to the 18th century...

Dammit, dammit, dammit. You know, I almost made it to the weekend without cursing the ground on which the republicans walk, and then I stumbled across  this vile piece of misogynistic anti-woman legislation. Having backed off their neanderthalic attempts to redefine rape as only being 'forcible' so as to prevent federal funds being used for abortions, the Anti-Woman party now wants to write into law a provision that prevents doctors from saving the life of a pregnant woman, if by so doing, the fetus does not survive. So what this means for pregnant women is that if, due to complications, a doctor is facing a scenario where they can only save either the mother OR the fetus, they have to concentrate on saving the fetus first. Never mind the living, breathing woman giving birth, save the unborn fetus first. In other words a woman's life is not worth as much as that of the unborn fetus she is carrying. Excuse me? On what planet does that even remotely make sense?

I knew that the religious fervor was strong in this particular group of nutjobs, even if the stupid republican sheep that voted for them ignored it, but I need someone to explain to me how this sort of "christian" fundamentalist, anti-woman legislation is different from the same sort of bullshit the Taliban try and pull in Afghanistan and rural Pakistan, because I honestly can't find it. Besides, I thought that the Teahadist wing of the GOP was supposed to be in favour of less government intrusion, not more? Oh, and while we're at it, where are all those fucking jobs we were promised when they lied their way into power? I thought that getting the economy going again was the "top priority". Strange, it seems to me that their top priority is passing a radical religious right-wing anti-woman agenda instead.

I honestly don't know which is more scary, the fact that 100 representatives have signed up as co-sponsors to this despicable piece of theocratic stupidity, or that there are still women out there that will vote for them anyway.

Funny thing is that no-one has explained to the willfully blind republican voters that their Teahadist representatives only care about the fetus until it's born. After that, they can't wait to send it off to fight in pointless wars of choice, or execute them if they commit a crime. Of course if the fetus, once born,  needs assitance in between times say with food or shelter or healthcare it is completely and totally fucked because the Teanuts will have dismantled the social safety net that was once in place.

Yay progress!!!

I need a drink....

From the 'you know you're in deep shit when' files....

As some of you may know, Charlie Sheen, the lead actor in the number one-rated comedy show in America, Two and a Half Men, is currently trying to dry out after a monumental bender that included porn stars, booze and a boat-load of Columbian marching powder. He is doing this by going to rehab. At home. On his couch. Yup, that oughta do the trick.

Here's my take, first off, way to go Charlie, you have proven once and for all that you can't really act, all you are doing on that show is just being yourself and getting paid handsomely for it. Wish I could do the same. Secondly, and far more alarmingly, when  Lindsay Lohan says you might want to dial it down a notch or five, I'd pay attention if I were you. She knows a little something about successfully destroying careers by partying too hard. But thirdly, and most importantly, get sober. Not 'pretend' sober, you know, the kind of sober used by the rich and famous just so a judge doesn't throw your sorry ass in jail, but 'real' sober. Never-pick-up-another-glass-of-scotch-again, sober. Never-buy-cocaine-by-the-kilo-again, sober. Never-party-with-hookers-and-porn-stars-again, sober. (At least not with ones that then immediately sell their story to the media).

Charlie, if you won't do it for all of the people that depend on you for their own jobs and livelihoods, then at least do it for your kids. Their lives are probably already housed as it is, but the last thing they need is for your final legacy to be that you were just the latest super-rich Hollywood asshole to be found dead,  face-first in a pile of coke like Al Pacino in Scarface. The don't need to see their dad's name splashed all over the tabloids as a bunch of whores sell their stories of your last dying moments. They deserve better than that, and so do you. Get sober.

'Mommy, why do the republicans hate working people?' 'I dunno son, maybe because they're all bastards?'

Attn: Mr republican voter, what I am about to tell you had better make you sit up and pay attention. Not satisfied with trying to alienate every single woman in the country by trying to redefine the definition of rape (please see this post for more on that little nugget of love), this is what YOUR representatives are trying to do behind your back as well. They are actively trying to find ways for States and Municipalities to declare bankruptcy, get out of debt, and screw the common man all in one shot. You might not be aware of this, but most of the debt piling up for State and Municipal Governments is in the unfunded or under-funded pension plans that were set up under contracts entered into, and agreed upon in good faith, between Government and employee. Now these governments are looking for a legal way to keep from having to honour those contracts and fully fund those pension plans.

In other words, you think that just because you worked for the gummint for 30 years your pension is guaranteed? Think again. Think that just because you are already retired your pension is safe? Think again. And whilst you try and wrap your head around that news, make sure you remind yourself that yes, these are the very same bastards that a) bailed out the "too big to fail" banks with OUR taxpayer dollars even though THEY are the ones that drove the economy straight off the cliff, and b) made it harder for the common folk to get out-from-under in personal bankruptcy filings by changing the rules in favour of the banks and credit card companies. Clear on that? Personal bankruptcy = Make it harder, Government Bankruptcy = Let's see what we can do to make it easier.

So, do me a favour Mr republican voter, the next time some slick political ad comes on the telly and a republican politician talks about how the President is really a secret commie/nazi/socialist/muslim that was born in Kenya and he wants to take away your guns and force you to get health care and force pregnant women to have abortions and he doesn't even love the Baby Jesus....just remember this story. And remember this Mr. republican voter, they are saying things like that about the President specifically, or Democrats in general because they know it pushes your buttons. Regardless of your personal financial well-being, or how much free health care would actually benefit you, or how environmental regulations actually do keep your water clean and your food safe, they know that all of that will fly out of the window if they mention God, Guns or Gays. (That's why pundits and politicos call these issues "red meat"). The republicans know you love it, and they know you can't help but fall for it. Every.Single.Time.

One day Mr. republican voter I hope that the smoke will clear and you will finally see what you are actually getting everytime you send these hypocritical asswipes back to congress.

Bottom line Mr. republican voter is this, they may say they are on 'your side', but they aren't. They may say they love the 'little guy', but they don't. You are being lied to, and it is time for you to snap out of it and stop buying their bullshit because ALL of us wind up getting royally screwed.