Hey, it worked wonders for Bill Maher's tweeter account....*evilgrin*
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, I am outta here...
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Is this 'Survivor' or the 700 Club?
I have a confession to make. I watch a reality tv show. And I like it. Yes, I know, I'm bad...but it's my one and only guilty pleasure (at least the only one that I am willing to share with the entire interwebs, assuming anyone actually reads this damn thing). It's called 'Survivor' and the premise is that a bunch of nobodies get thrown together on a deserted island somewhere and have to go through a series of challenges to try and outlast everyone else in an attempt to win $1 million.
The show is pure unadulterated voyeurism featuring a cast of characters that are willing to do just about anything for their 15 minutes of fame. There are always a couple of hot chicks that like to wear as little as possible, there is always a nerd (or two), at least one gay person, someone that is old and has a chip on their shoulder about it, someone that has overcome some serious illness or handicap, a smattering of buff dudes, an ex-military/survivalist type, and at least one born-again christian.
They are initially split into two tribes that try and get along with each other, knowing full well that most will get sent home, and the remaining schemers will do their damnedest to fuck each other over as nicely as possible so that even though they got stabbed in the back, they will still vote to give you a million smackeroos at the final tribal council.
The game is one third strategy, one third physical, one third social, and 100% avarice and greed, after all, they are playing for $1,000,000.
And that's what makes this season particularly annoying. There has always been an underlying discussion in this game at some point or another about faith, integrity and honour, and how it 'guides' the contestants through the game. Some are less overt than others, but the last two seasons have brought christianity front and center on many, many occasions, and frankly, as a non-believer I have to say it is starting to get on my tits.
Last season there was a gormless idiot that was voted out of the tribe and sent to an isolated island by his fellow tribe-members TWICE. Both times as he started to mentally breakdown due to the isolation he would babble on about 'god's will' and 'this is what the lord must have planned for me' and other such delusional utterances. It became a focal point not only for this player, but of the overall game as well. (I personally never knew that God watched CBS on Wednesday evenings at 8pm eastern, 7pm Central).
This season though, they really jumped the crucifix. If I would have known ahead of time that there was going to be this much bullshit and chatter about invisible sky-wizards, to the point that almost every episode sounded like an old-fashioned tent revival meeting, I simply wouldn't have bothered watching at all.
Here's my problem. I don't care if you believe in god, allah, jehovah, buddha or the flying spaghetti monster, that's fine by me, knock yourself out, but if you start praying to that invisible friend in the vain hope that they will help you win one million dollars in a tv game show, I think you have completely lost the plot. The very thought that some divine-being actually gives a flying fuck about whether some fame-hungry twerp wins a million dollars or not is both hysterical and offensive at the same time.
On the plus side however, at least according to the mental midgets that are currently playing in this season's big sand box for $1,000,000.00, there will apparently be no point in watching the show on CBS every Wednesday night in the future, because everything has been pre-determined by some invisible cloud-being...
As a side note, can you imagine the ruckus if they were praying to allah instead? Oh wait, TLC already tried that and got slammed for it...
Oy vey!!
The show is pure unadulterated voyeurism featuring a cast of characters that are willing to do just about anything for their 15 minutes of fame. There are always a couple of hot chicks that like to wear as little as possible, there is always a nerd (or two), at least one gay person, someone that is old and has a chip on their shoulder about it, someone that has overcome some serious illness or handicap, a smattering of buff dudes, an ex-military/survivalist type, and at least one born-again christian.
They are initially split into two tribes that try and get along with each other, knowing full well that most will get sent home, and the remaining schemers will do their damnedest to fuck each other over as nicely as possible so that even though they got stabbed in the back, they will still vote to give you a million smackeroos at the final tribal council.
The game is one third strategy, one third physical, one third social, and 100% avarice and greed, after all, they are playing for $1,000,000.
And that's what makes this season particularly annoying. There has always been an underlying discussion in this game at some point or another about faith, integrity and honour, and how it 'guides' the contestants through the game. Some are less overt than others, but the last two seasons have brought christianity front and center on many, many occasions, and frankly, as a non-believer I have to say it is starting to get on my tits.
Last season there was a gormless idiot that was voted out of the tribe and sent to an isolated island by his fellow tribe-members TWICE. Both times as he started to mentally breakdown due to the isolation he would babble on about 'god's will' and 'this is what the lord must have planned for me' and other such delusional utterances. It became a focal point not only for this player, but of the overall game as well. (I personally never knew that God watched CBS on Wednesday evenings at 8pm eastern, 7pm Central).
This season though, they really jumped the crucifix. If I would have known ahead of time that there was going to be this much bullshit and chatter about invisible sky-wizards, to the point that almost every episode sounded like an old-fashioned tent revival meeting, I simply wouldn't have bothered watching at all.
Here's my problem. I don't care if you believe in god, allah, jehovah, buddha or the flying spaghetti monster, that's fine by me, knock yourself out, but if you start praying to that invisible friend in the vain hope that they will help you win one million dollars in a tv game show, I think you have completely lost the plot. The very thought that some divine-being actually gives a flying fuck about whether some fame-hungry twerp wins a million dollars or not is both hysterical and offensive at the same time.
On the plus side however, at least according to the mental midgets that are currently playing in this season's big sand box for $1,000,000.00, there will apparently be no point in watching the show on CBS every Wednesday night in the future, because everything has been pre-determined by some invisible cloud-being...
As a side note, can you imagine the ruckus if they were praying to allah instead? Oh wait, TLC already tried that and got slammed for it...
Oy vey!!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
The republicans continue to up the hate...and the crazy...
I have tried to stay away from the republican crazy train that is their Presidential nomination process as much as possible. This is mainly because there isn't a day that goes by when I wouldn't be writing about some stupid/outrageous/ridiculous thing one of them had said, but yesterday was a day full of such lunacy and hatred that I simply cannot leave it untouched.
The first item was when their front-runner de jour, Newt Gingrich (a more apt name for a republican candidate I cannot think of, save maybe Louis Gommert or Judy Biggert - and yes those are real names of real republican politicians) said that he would nominate John Bolton as his Secretary of State upon taking office. This is the same John Bolton that was a key player in the build up to the Iraq war. You know, the one where his boss attacked the wrong country on the basis of known lies and utter fabrications in some Freudian/Oedipal attempt to one-up his old man. Bolton actually had to be recess-appointed by Bush Minor to be the ambassador to the U.N. because there was no way on god's green earth that he was ever going to get Congressional approval. He is also the same John Bolton that has said in the past that basically, diplomacy is for pussies, and that if the USA doesn't attack Iran, then we should make sure that Israel sure as hell does. Yeah, we need this guy as our Sec of State like we need David Duke appointed as the head of the President's Council on Race Relations.
But the real kicker yesterday was Rick Perry unveiling a new tv ad specifically aimed at the knuckle-dragging invisible sky-wizard worshippers in Iowa. In this ad he expresses his total amazement that gays can serve openly in the military (because lord-only knows there ain't no way you can be a patriot if you're gay) at the same time that children can't pray in schools. There are two things wrong with that statement. One reveals that Rick Perry is utterly ignorant of the law of the land regarding school prayer (hey pRick, how about we promise not to teach evolution and science in your churches if you promise not to pray in our schools - deal?) and the other is that he is a complete and total, bare-faced, dyed-in-the-wool, homophobic bigot. BOTH make him unqualified for the position which he seeks.
It is no surprise that this is the most right-wing radical group of candidates seeking the republican nomination in history, but it is the depth of their brazen hatred that still takes my breath away. I am no fan of President Obama's performance or policies since taking office, in fact I think he has been pretty bloody dreadful - far too much compromise and not enough Samuel L. Jackson - but he is in another zip code entirely when it comes to his potential adversaries, 'cos those motherfuckers be crazy..
Obama/Biden 2012 - Who Else You Gonna Vote For?
The first item was when their front-runner de jour, Newt Gingrich (a more apt name for a republican candidate I cannot think of, save maybe Louis Gommert or Judy Biggert - and yes those are real names of real republican politicians) said that he would nominate John Bolton as his Secretary of State upon taking office. This is the same John Bolton that was a key player in the build up to the Iraq war. You know, the one where his boss attacked the wrong country on the basis of known lies and utter fabrications in some Freudian/Oedipal attempt to one-up his old man. Bolton actually had to be recess-appointed by Bush Minor to be the ambassador to the U.N. because there was no way on god's green earth that he was ever going to get Congressional approval. He is also the same John Bolton that has said in the past that basically, diplomacy is for pussies, and that if the USA doesn't attack Iran, then we should make sure that Israel sure as hell does. Yeah, we need this guy as our Sec of State like we need David Duke appointed as the head of the President's Council on Race Relations.
But the real kicker yesterday was Rick Perry unveiling a new tv ad specifically aimed at the knuckle-dragging invisible sky-wizard worshippers in Iowa. In this ad he expresses his total amazement that gays can serve openly in the military (because lord-only knows there ain't no way you can be a patriot if you're gay) at the same time that children can't pray in schools. There are two things wrong with that statement. One reveals that Rick Perry is utterly ignorant of the law of the land regarding school prayer (hey pRick, how about we promise not to teach evolution and science in your churches if you promise not to pray in our schools - deal?) and the other is that he is a complete and total, bare-faced, dyed-in-the-wool, homophobic bigot. BOTH make him unqualified for the position which he seeks.
It is no surprise that this is the most right-wing radical group of candidates seeking the republican nomination in history, but it is the depth of their brazen hatred that still takes my breath away. I am no fan of President Obama's performance or policies since taking office, in fact I think he has been pretty bloody dreadful - far too much compromise and not enough Samuel L. Jackson - but he is in another zip code entirely when it comes to his potential adversaries, 'cos those motherfuckers be crazy..
Obama/Biden 2012 - Who Else You Gonna Vote For?
Monday, November 28, 2011
The 2011 Formula One season ends with a "Meh"....
I can remember a time when you had to tear me away from the telly when a Grand Prix was on. Nowadays, not so much. It's not just that the cars all look the same except for their paint jobs, it's the fact that they are racing on tracks that are for the most part, soul-less heaps of mediocrity...
The re-working of Hockenheim (which was pretty dire to begin with) and Spa (which was perfect just the way it was thank you very much) should have resulted in someone being shot...twice..."new" Silverstone has so many switchbacks and convulted twisty bits that it has lost all of it's former character and it STILL doesn't hold a candle to Brands Hatch (which thankfully didn't 'win' the right to hold the British G.P. and therefore was not Tilke'd to death)...
The locations are a joke too, the Grand Prix of India....really?? Who is kidding whom? Dubai, Abu Dhabi, China, Malaysia, Singapore, Korea, you know, all of those classic tracks that the greats from history drove on like, um,...you know...that foreign guy...and the other famous geezer with the mustache...and that Scots git, you know...the really fast one..
Bernie Ecclestone has single-handedly ripped the soul out of what used to be my greatest passion and sold it off, piece-by-piece to the highest bidder...and I despise him for it...
When I lived on the left-coast of America I would get up at O-dark-thirty in the morning to watch the European GPs live, even though I was recording them as well, my wife thought I was mental, now I can barely be bothered to remember when the damned races are on, never mind recording them Why take up space on the DVR that could be devoted to the Premier League anyway? The only reason I caught the Brazilian GP this weekend at all was as a filler before the Man City vee Liverpool footy match began, and even that was only in the vain hope that they would give lots of ogling coverage of the Brazilian grid girls...
In contrast I still pull an all-nighter every year for Ley Van Catre 'Ers of Lee Mons, and was bitterly disappointed that I couldn't have an endurance fest this year for either the 12 hours of Sebring or Petit Lee Mons due to the crappiest television broadcast deal in motorsports save the WRC's..(where the flock is that carried now anyway?)...
F-1 has long ago lost it's mystique and glamour, the drivers are for the most-part micro-managed spokesmodels, there isn't a rogue amongst them...can you imagine Keke Rosberg in modern F-1?..and they all toe the company line...no dissent allowed...
It is still the one sport in the world that works at the absolute pinnacle of automotive technology, and that, coupled with ear-splitting noise and breath-taking speed should make it essential viewing, yet somehow they have done the impossible and made it boring...
Someone wake me up when next season starts please....Or not...
The re-working of Hockenheim (which was pretty dire to begin with) and Spa (which was perfect just the way it was thank you very much) should have resulted in someone being shot...twice..."new" Silverstone has so many switchbacks and convulted twisty bits that it has lost all of it's former character and it STILL doesn't hold a candle to Brands Hatch (which thankfully didn't 'win' the right to hold the British G.P. and therefore was not Tilke'd to death)...
The locations are a joke too, the Grand Prix of India....really?? Who is kidding whom? Dubai, Abu Dhabi, China, Malaysia, Singapore, Korea, you know, all of those classic tracks that the greats from history drove on like, um,...you know...that foreign guy...and the other famous geezer with the mustache...and that Scots git, you know...the really fast one..
Bernie Ecclestone has single-handedly ripped the soul out of what used to be my greatest passion and sold it off, piece-by-piece to the highest bidder...and I despise him for it...
When I lived on the left-coast of America I would get up at O-dark-thirty in the morning to watch the European GPs live, even though I was recording them as well, my wife thought I was mental, now I can barely be bothered to remember when the damned races are on, never mind recording them Why take up space on the DVR that could be devoted to the Premier League anyway? The only reason I caught the Brazilian GP this weekend at all was as a filler before the Man City vee Liverpool footy match began, and even that was only in the vain hope that they would give lots of ogling coverage of the Brazilian grid girls...
In contrast I still pull an all-nighter every year for Ley Van Catre 'Ers of Lee Mons, and was bitterly disappointed that I couldn't have an endurance fest this year for either the 12 hours of Sebring or Petit Lee Mons due to the crappiest television broadcast deal in motorsports save the WRC's..(where the flock is that carried now anyway?)...
F-1 has long ago lost it's mystique and glamour, the drivers are for the most-part micro-managed spokesmodels, there isn't a rogue amongst them...can you imagine Keke Rosberg in modern F-1?..and they all toe the company line...no dissent allowed...
It is still the one sport in the world that works at the absolute pinnacle of automotive technology, and that, coupled with ear-splitting noise and breath-taking speed should make it essential viewing, yet somehow they have done the impossible and made it boring...
Someone wake me up when next season starts please....Or not...
Friday, November 18, 2011
Friday Follies: A sexist automotive joke...
Well why not, no-one reads this bloody thing anyway...*grin*
Anyhoo...stolen gratuitously from the interwebs:
With Euro going down, Ford to acquire Renault
Ford has announced plans to acquire French automaker Renault and engineering teams have already joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the Renault “Clio” and the Ford “Taurus”, they have designed the “Clitaurus”.
It comes in pink and the average male car thief won't be able to find it, let alone turn it on, even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it. Rumour has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over. New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain and horribly expensive to get rid of.
Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age.
Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger. This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it as needed.
---------------
I hope everyone has a great weekend, and if I offended anyone, hopefully I offended you so much you had to share this with your friends...because god knows, the stuff I've been writing up 'til now hasn't driven up the numbers of hits...
Cheers!!
Anyhoo...stolen gratuitously from the interwebs:
With Euro going down, Ford to acquire Renault
Ford has announced plans to acquire French automaker Renault and engineering teams have already joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the Renault “Clio” and the Ford “Taurus”, they have designed the “Clitaurus”.
It comes in pink and the average male car thief won't be able to find it, let alone turn it on, even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it. Rumour has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over. New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain and horribly expensive to get rid of.
Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age.
Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger. This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it as needed.
---------------
I hope everyone has a great weekend, and if I offended anyone, hopefully I offended you so much you had to share this with your friends...because god knows, the stuff I've been writing up 'til now hasn't driven up the numbers of hits...
Cheers!!
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