I realize that this is quite probably the least read blog on the interwebs so I feel fairly safe letting loose on a little rant here about the world's most famous golfer/shittiest husband without too much worry about lawsuits and the like.
As every human being on the planet is aware (except Sarah Palin who was too busy re-inventing her life story and quitting something else half-way through to care) , the world's number one golfist/athlete/spokesperson/all-around good-guy had a little oopsie this week after his wife found out he'd been a little less than biblically-faithful to her, and decided to use her husbands's work tools to reconfigure the air-conditioning system on his Escalade by opening up a few extra windows...
Obviously this news came as a big surprise to Mrs. Woods, although it has long been rumoured on the PGA Tour that Tiger is a big fan of the kind of rough that is not necessarily green in colour and lining the fairways of most golf courses, and she apparently went just a little bit mental about it all...
And who can blame her? When I originally started writing this entry, roughly the week after the news broke about Tiger's attempt at vehicular-hydrant-and-tree-relocation, his scorecard was only -1, maybe -2 under par. Here we are three weeks later and apparently, after completing the back nine, he is shooting something like -14 under par.
Mrs. Woods has quite justifiably decided that before it becomes obvious that he may well break the course record, she is buggering off with the kids and (eventually) half of his money.
Good for her.
I am still not sure yet whether I am pissed off at Tiger for doing this to his family, especially his young children, or if I'm pissed off at him for being a hypocritical and smug bastard "protecting" his family all these years when in fact he was screwing anything with a pulse and laughing about it behind everyone's back, or if I'm pissed off at him for trading in a smoking hot, large-breasted Swedish bikini model, for a very sorry collection of scrubbers, tarts and dodgy boilers.
On reflection I think it's a combination of all three. And that is why I hope it takes him a long time before he dares venture out of his house of shame and back onto the golf course to earn the alimony and child-support he will have to pay, and I hope that he is ready for years and years of humility and grovelling, because one thing is for sure, the next time he is on the tee and yells "FORE!" the entire gallery will be shouting back " -TEEN!"...
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