If you took a look back at the last decade and were asked to give your honest opinion, I think if you were truly honest with yourself you'd have to say that it sucked. Hard. Sure there were things that happened in our own personal worlds that were all good and wonderful during that time frame, kids got born, kids graduated high school, kids went to college, yada, yada, yada, but outside of our own little existences I think you'd have to come to the conclusion that it was a pretty fucking awful ten years.
With a tidal wave of hope and enthusiasm after 8 years of a booming Clinton economy, and nary a war on the horizon, we entered the new millenium in a boozy haze of optimism and invincibility...
Then George W. Bush got selected by his father's mates on the Supreme Court and it all went to hell quicker than said cowboy boot-wearing moron could grunt 'Nukular' or 'Mission Accomplished'.
What followed next was eight excruciating years of tax gifts to the rich on the backs of the lower classes, a looting of the Treasury, a destruction of the rule of law (which had been very important when Clinton was in office but apparently less so when a republican is in office and actual crimes are being committed), the starting of two wars, one in completely the wrong country, the demise of the US's diplomatic standing in the world courtesy of the Connecticut Cowboy's creed of "you're either with us, or you're against us", and 24/7 saturation of waving computer-generated American flags on every single news station as they tried to outdo each other as to who was more patriotic than whom after the awful tragedy of September 11th, 2001.
Political discourse went straight into the shitter as well. It was now perfectly okay to state, as though it were fact, that your political opponent was in fact a traitor, or "un-American" if they were not in lock-step with the pronouncements coming from the Cheney, sorry, the Bush Whitehouse, whereas before, that sort of slanderous utterance would wind up with someone getting their ass sued, or their teeth kicked in, now it was de riguer on Fixed Noise, the Official Television Station of the Republican party.
"Liberal" became a dirty word, "Progressive" meant you were an unbathed hippy lesbian from San Francisco that cared more about the rights of the pigeons than the owners of the Mercedes Benz's they were copiously shitting on, and "Democrat" meant spineless, gutless, or more plainly, "completely fucking useless".
With a Democrat in the Whitehouse, and the Democrats "in control" of congress (although you could have fooled me most of the time this year) there may still be time to right some of the wrongs wrought by the porcine looters that were the previous occupants of the people's houses, but it will be a mighty hard battle, and one made less easy by the constant braying of the hate-mongers on the right that were so enabled during the Cheney years.
But let's push that boring political stuff aside for a moment and focus on the more important stuff, you know, like TeeVee entertainment, because as you will soon see, apparently that is what was more important in the 00's. It was a pretty dire decade for TeeVee entertainment from an educated person's standpoint. Unless you were willing to live on an island somewhere with 20 other yuppy larvae and fuck someone over for a million dollars, or eat cockroaches and boiled deer cock for fifty grand, or live in a fully-TV Camera-wired house somewhere in New York with obnoxious tattooed brain-dead wannabe pornstars, there wasn't an awful lot of talent on offer.
But what really, really sucked about the 00's was the rise of Simon Bloody Cowell. His Cheshire Cat smile simply drives me up the wall. His absolute and total bloody arrogance makes me wish to commit violence upon my beloved telly whenever his mugging visage appears, and the dreadful, pathetic and awful bunch of tone-deaf losers and posers that would crawl through a bog of rancid pig faeces to be first in line on one of his shows, make me want to stab out my eyes with a tuning fork. But I must admit that I do have to grudgingly admire him for at least one thing. Don't get me wrong, I am not going soft, he still sucks like a toothless Alabama truck-stop tart, but he does know his niche and he has exploited it to the nth degree with the inevitable consequence that he is now richer than most of Europe.
But the real reason he sucks so bad, and why the 00's sucked so utterly and completely, is because more people vote for the contestants on his fucking television shows than bother to vote in REAL elections.
Think about that for a second. I don't know about you, but that horrifies me.
I always suspected I was surrounded by empty-headed morons, but it REALLY sucks to have it proven beyond a doubt.
Oh well, maybe the next decade won't suck as bad...I sure hope so.
Happy New Year All!!!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Why Joe Lieberman is a douchebag (Part II)
Not satisfied with fucking over the poor and the uninsured with his threat to filibuster the 'Public Option' at the bidding of his owners...sorry 'campaign donors'...Holy Joe has now decided that he will also filibuster the plan to lower the eligibility age for Medicare, the Government-run healthcare plan the right-wing in this country still hasn't realized is run by, well, you know the Government, from 65 to 55.
What this means is that he has managed to piss off the poor, the un-insured, and folks between the age of 55 and 65. With the exception of the poor, the other two groups usually tend to vote in large numbers when it comes time to pick between the various bullshit artists running for political office every couple of years, and if recent polling data is to be believed this stance may finally do for Joe Lieberman what Harry Reid won't, and that is, kick his ass out of power.
President Obama won in a tidal wive of "hope" and "change" last year. The man had some very big plans, but somehow they have been bogged down, diverted or diluted by an opposition party that is on the verge of splintering into tiny pieces as they try and decide which lunatic conspiracy theory they are going to voice next. Between the 'birthers', the 'tea-baggers' (I wish that those who proudly proclaim themselves to be such would bother to look up the definition of that phrase..the looks on their faces when it final dawns on them what they've been saying all this time would be priceless) and the followers of the rabid right-wing hate and fear-mongers on the radio and Fux Noizze, they have succesfully done what I thought Democrats were supposed to be famous for; organizing circular firing squads. And yet, despite all of the yelling and screaming at each other, they have also been very successful at derailing the mandate that was handed in a landslide to Barack Obama.
This either means that even as the republican party slowly disintegrates into becoming solely the party of white male Southerners, it can still be an effective opposition party, OR it means that the Democrats, whilst almost totally useless as the minority party, are in fact, completely fucking useless as the majority party.
The reality of the situation unfortunately suggests both are true.
Much though I hate the modern republican party, and I do, I have to give them grudging respect when it comes to party discipline. Whether it's authorizing wars against the wrong country, or saying, with collective straight faces, that tax breaks for the superwealthy will actually benefit the poor white folk that comprise their voting base, they do it all as a unit. The Democrats on the other hand couldn't arrange a piss-up in a brewery, even when they have the keys to the stockroom and a hand-written note from the owners saying "enjoy yourselves".
Those two facts notwithstanding, the republicans still didn't have enough by themselves to bog down Health Care Reform, they needed their ace-in-the-hole, the Senator from Aetna - Joe Lieberman, to be the large chunk of plaque to plug up the coagulated arteries of Senatorial legislation and drag everything to a screeching halt. Despite a so-called 'super-majority' in the Senate, an overwhelming majority in the House, and a Democrat behind the desk in the Oval Office, one, obstinate, petty, bitter and wrinkly-faced prostitute from CT has well and truly scuppered any chance at real healthcare reform in the US.
Saggy-Jowels had the chance to be the lynch-pin in passing major legislation that would permanently change the way people in this country get healthcare. He had a chance to be known as the man with the vote that got 45 million Americans health coverage that they would never have otherwise been able to get, but instead he decided to use that vote to prevent people from getting the care they desperately need, and once more, sold his vote to the highest bidder.
And THAT is why Joe Lieberman is a douchebag. Again.
What this means is that he has managed to piss off the poor, the un-insured, and folks between the age of 55 and 65. With the exception of the poor, the other two groups usually tend to vote in large numbers when it comes time to pick between the various bullshit artists running for political office every couple of years, and if recent polling data is to be believed this stance may finally do for Joe Lieberman what Harry Reid won't, and that is, kick his ass out of power.
President Obama won in a tidal wive of "hope" and "change" last year. The man had some very big plans, but somehow they have been bogged down, diverted or diluted by an opposition party that is on the verge of splintering into tiny pieces as they try and decide which lunatic conspiracy theory they are going to voice next. Between the 'birthers', the 'tea-baggers' (I wish that those who proudly proclaim themselves to be such would bother to look up the definition of that phrase..the looks on their faces when it final dawns on them what they've been saying all this time would be priceless) and the followers of the rabid right-wing hate and fear-mongers on the radio and Fux Noizze, they have succesfully done what I thought Democrats were supposed to be famous for; organizing circular firing squads. And yet, despite all of the yelling and screaming at each other, they have also been very successful at derailing the mandate that was handed in a landslide to Barack Obama.
This either means that even as the republican party slowly disintegrates into becoming solely the party of white male Southerners, it can still be an effective opposition party, OR it means that the Democrats, whilst almost totally useless as the minority party, are in fact, completely fucking useless as the majority party.
The reality of the situation unfortunately suggests both are true.
Much though I hate the modern republican party, and I do, I have to give them grudging respect when it comes to party discipline. Whether it's authorizing wars against the wrong country, or saying, with collective straight faces, that tax breaks for the superwealthy will actually benefit the poor white folk that comprise their voting base, they do it all as a unit. The Democrats on the other hand couldn't arrange a piss-up in a brewery, even when they have the keys to the stockroom and a hand-written note from the owners saying "enjoy yourselves".
Those two facts notwithstanding, the republicans still didn't have enough by themselves to bog down Health Care Reform, they needed their ace-in-the-hole, the Senator from Aetna - Joe Lieberman, to be the large chunk of plaque to plug up the coagulated arteries of Senatorial legislation and drag everything to a screeching halt. Despite a so-called 'super-majority' in the Senate, an overwhelming majority in the House, and a Democrat behind the desk in the Oval Office, one, obstinate, petty, bitter and wrinkly-faced prostitute from CT has well and truly scuppered any chance at real healthcare reform in the US.
Saggy-Jowels had the chance to be the lynch-pin in passing major legislation that would permanently change the way people in this country get healthcare. He had a chance to be known as the man with the vote that got 45 million Americans health coverage that they would never have otherwise been able to get, but instead he decided to use that vote to prevent people from getting the care they desperately need, and once more, sold his vote to the highest bidder.
And THAT is why Joe Lieberman is a douchebag. Again.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Scrubbers
I realize that this is quite probably the least read blog on the interwebs so I feel fairly safe letting loose on a little rant here about the world's most famous golfer/shittiest husband without too much worry about lawsuits and the like.
As every human being on the planet is aware (except Sarah Palin who was too busy re-inventing her life story and quitting something else half-way through to care) , the world's number one golfist/athlete/spokesperson/all-around good-guy had a little oopsie this week after his wife found out he'd been a little less than biblically-faithful to her, and decided to use her husbands's work tools to reconfigure the air-conditioning system on his Escalade by opening up a few extra windows...
Obviously this news came as a big surprise to Mrs. Woods, although it has long been rumoured on the PGA Tour that Tiger is a big fan of the kind of rough that is not necessarily green in colour and lining the fairways of most golf courses, and she apparently went just a little bit mental about it all...
And who can blame her? When I originally started writing this entry, roughly the week after the news broke about Tiger's attempt at vehicular-hydrant-and-tree-relocation, his scorecard was only -1, maybe -2 under par. Here we are three weeks later and apparently, after completing the back nine, he is shooting something like -14 under par.
Mrs. Woods has quite justifiably decided that before it becomes obvious that he may well break the course record, she is buggering off with the kids and (eventually) half of his money.
Good for her.
I am still not sure yet whether I am pissed off at Tiger for doing this to his family, especially his young children, or if I'm pissed off at him for being a hypocritical and smug bastard "protecting" his family all these years when in fact he was screwing anything with a pulse and laughing about it behind everyone's back, or if I'm pissed off at him for trading in a smoking hot, large-breasted Swedish bikini model, for a very sorry collection of scrubbers, tarts and dodgy boilers.
On reflection I think it's a combination of all three. And that is why I hope it takes him a long time before he dares venture out of his house of shame and back onto the golf course to earn the alimony and child-support he will have to pay, and I hope that he is ready for years and years of humility and grovelling, because one thing is for sure, the next time he is on the tee and yells "FORE!" the entire gallery will be shouting back " -TEEN!"...
As every human being on the planet is aware (except Sarah Palin who was too busy re-inventing her life story and quitting something else half-way through to care) , the world's number one golfist/athlete/spokesperson/all-around good-guy had a little oopsie this week after his wife found out he'd been a little less than biblically-faithful to her, and decided to use her husbands's work tools to reconfigure the air-conditioning system on his Escalade by opening up a few extra windows...
Obviously this news came as a big surprise to Mrs. Woods, although it has long been rumoured on the PGA Tour that Tiger is a big fan of the kind of rough that is not necessarily green in colour and lining the fairways of most golf courses, and she apparently went just a little bit mental about it all...
And who can blame her? When I originally started writing this entry, roughly the week after the news broke about Tiger's attempt at vehicular-hydrant-and-tree-relocation, his scorecard was only -1, maybe -2 under par. Here we are three weeks later and apparently, after completing the back nine, he is shooting something like -14 under par.
Mrs. Woods has quite justifiably decided that before it becomes obvious that he may well break the course record, she is buggering off with the kids and (eventually) half of his money.
Good for her.
I am still not sure yet whether I am pissed off at Tiger for doing this to his family, especially his young children, or if I'm pissed off at him for being a hypocritical and smug bastard "protecting" his family all these years when in fact he was screwing anything with a pulse and laughing about it behind everyone's back, or if I'm pissed off at him for trading in a smoking hot, large-breasted Swedish bikini model, for a very sorry collection of scrubbers, tarts and dodgy boilers.
On reflection I think it's a combination of all three. And that is why I hope it takes him a long time before he dares venture out of his house of shame and back onto the golf course to earn the alimony and child-support he will have to pay, and I hope that he is ready for years and years of humility and grovelling, because one thing is for sure, the next time he is on the tee and yells "FORE!" the entire gallery will be shouting back " -TEEN!"...
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