No-one reads this thing...so fuck Tim Tebow...good night, and good luck....

Hey, it worked wonders for Bill Maher's tweeter account....*evilgrin*

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year,  I am outta here...

Is this 'Survivor' or the 700 Club?

I have a confession to make. I watch a reality tv show. And I like it. Yes, I know, I'm bad...but it's my one and only guilty pleasure (at least the only one that I am willing to share with the entire interwebs, assuming anyone actually reads this damn thing). It's called 'Survivor' and the premise is that a bunch of nobodies get thrown together on a deserted island somewhere and have to go through a series of challenges to try and outlast everyone else in an attempt to win $1 million.

The show is pure unadulterated voyeurism featuring a cast of characters that are willing to do just about anything for their 15 minutes of fame. There are always a couple of hot chicks that like to wear as little as possible, there is always a nerd (or two), at least one gay person, someone that is old and has a chip on their shoulder about it, someone that has overcome some serious illness or handicap, a smattering of buff dudes, an ex-military/survivalist type, and at least one born-again christian.

They are initially split into two tribes that try and get along with each other, knowing full well that most will get sent home, and the remaining schemers will do their damnedest to fuck each other over as nicely as possible so that even though they got stabbed in the back, they will still vote to give you a million smackeroos at the final tribal council.

The game is one third strategy, one third physical, one third social, and 100% avarice and greed, after all, they are playing for $1,000,000.

And that's what makes this season particularly annoying. There has always been an underlying discussion in this game at some point or another about faith, integrity and honour, and how it 'guides' the contestants through the game. Some are less overt than others, but the last two seasons have brought christianity front and center on many, many occasions, and frankly, as a non-believer I have to say it is starting to get on my tits.

Last season there was a gormless idiot that was voted out of the tribe and sent to an isolated island by his fellow tribe-members TWICE. Both times as he started to mentally breakdown due to the isolation he would babble on about 'god's will' and 'this is what the lord must have planned for me' and other such delusional utterances. It became a focal point not only for this player, but of the overall game as well. (I personally never knew that God watched CBS on Wednesday evenings at 8pm eastern, 7pm Central).

This season though, they really jumped the crucifix. If I would have known ahead of time that there was going to be this much bullshit and chatter about invisible sky-wizards, to the point that almost every episode sounded like an old-fashioned tent revival meeting, I simply wouldn't have bothered watching at all.

Here's my problem. I don't care if you believe in god, allah, jehovah, buddha or the flying spaghetti monster, that's fine by me, knock yourself out, but if you start praying to that invisible friend in the vain hope that they will help you win one million dollars in a tv game show, I think you have completely lost the plot. The very thought that some divine-being actually gives a flying fuck about whether some fame-hungry twerp wins a million dollars or not is both hysterical and offensive at the same time.

On the plus side however, at least according to the mental midgets that are currently playing in this season's big sand box for $1,000,000.00, there will apparently be no point in watching the show on CBS every Wednesday night in the future, because everything has been pre-determined by some invisible cloud-being...

As a side note, can you imagine the ruckus if they were praying to allah instead? Oh wait, TLC already tried that and got slammed for it...

Oy vey!!

The republicans continue to up the hate...and the crazy...

I have tried to stay away from the republican crazy train that is their Presidential nomination process as much as possible. This is mainly because there isn't a day that goes by when I wouldn't be writing about some stupid/outrageous/ridiculous thing one of them had said, but yesterday was a day full of such lunacy and hatred that I simply cannot leave it untouched.

The first item was when their front-runner de jour, Newt Gingrich (a more apt name for a republican candidate I cannot think of, save maybe Louis Gommert or Judy Biggert - and yes those are real names of real republican politicians) said that he would nominate John Bolton as his Secretary of State upon taking office. This is the same John Bolton that was a key player in the build up to the Iraq war. You know, the one where his boss attacked the wrong country on the basis of known lies and utter fabrications in some Freudian/Oedipal attempt to one-up his old man. Bolton actually had to be recess-appointed by Bush Minor to be the ambassador to the U.N. because there was no way on god's green earth that he was ever going to get Congressional approval. He is also the same John Bolton that has said in the past that basically, diplomacy is for pussies, and that if the USA doesn't attack Iran, then we should make sure that Israel sure as hell does. Yeah, we need this guy as our Sec of State like we need David Duke appointed as the head of the President's Council on  Race Relations.

But the real kicker yesterday was Rick Perry unveiling a new tv ad specifically aimed at the knuckle-dragging invisible sky-wizard worshippers in Iowa. In this ad he expresses his total amazement that gays can serve openly in the military (because lord-only knows there ain't no way you can be a patriot if you're gay) at the same time that children can't pray in schools. There are two things wrong with that statement. One reveals that Rick Perry is utterly ignorant of the law of the land regarding school prayer (hey pRick, how about we promise not to teach evolution and science in your churches if you promise not to pray in our schools - deal?) and the other is that he is a complete and total, bare-faced, dyed-in-the-wool, homophobic bigot. BOTH make him unqualified for the position which he seeks.

It is no surprise that this is the most right-wing radical group of candidates seeking the republican nomination in history, but it is the depth of their brazen hatred that still takes my breath away. I am no fan of President Obama's performance or policies since taking office, in fact I think he has been pretty bloody dreadful - far too much compromise and not enough Samuel L. Jackson - but he is in another zip code entirely when it comes to his potential adversaries, 'cos those motherfuckers be crazy..

Obama/Biden 2012 - Who Else You Gonna Vote For?

The 2011 Formula One season ends with a "Meh"....

I can remember a time when you had to tear me away from the telly when a Grand Prix was on. Nowadays, not so much. It's not just that the cars all look the same except for their paint jobs, it's the fact that they are racing on tracks that are for the most part, soul-less heaps of mediocrity...

The re-working of Hockenheim (which was pretty dire to begin with) and Spa (which was perfect just the way it was thank you very much) should have resulted in someone being shot...twice..."new" Silverstone has so many switchbacks and convulted twisty bits that it has lost all of it's former character and it STILL doesn't hold a candle to Brands Hatch (which thankfully didn't 'win' the right to hold the British G.P. and therefore was not Tilke'd to death)...

The locations are a joke too, the Grand Prix of India....really?? Who is kidding whom? Dubai, Abu Dhabi, China, Malaysia, Singapore, Korea, you know, all of those classic tracks that the greats from history drove on like, um,...you know...that foreign guy...and the other famous geezer with the mustache...and that Scots git, you know...the really fast one..

Bernie Ecclestone has single-handedly ripped the soul out of what used to be my greatest passion and sold it off, piece-by-piece to the highest bidder...and I despise him for it...

When I lived on the left-coast of America I would get up at O-dark-thirty in the morning to watch the European GPs live, even though I was recording them as well, my wife thought I was mental, now I can barely be bothered to remember when the damned races are on, never mind recording them Why take up space on the DVR that could be devoted to the Premier League anyway? The only reason I caught the Brazilian GP this weekend at all was as a filler before the Man City vee Liverpool footy match began, and even that was only in the vain hope that they would give lots of ogling coverage of the Brazilian grid girls...

In contrast I still pull an all-nighter every year for Ley Van Catre 'Ers of Lee Mons, and was bitterly disappointed that I couldn't have an endurance fest this year for either the 12 hours of Sebring or Petit Lee Mons due to the crappiest television broadcast deal in motorsports save the WRC's..(where the flock is that carried now anyway?)...

F-1 has long ago lost it's mystique and glamour, the drivers are for the most-part micro-managed spokesmodels, there isn't a rogue amongst them...can you imagine Keke Rosberg in modern F-1?..and they all toe the company line...no dissent allowed...

It is still the one sport in the world that works at the absolute pinnacle of automotive technology, and that, coupled with ear-splitting noise and breath-taking speed should make it essential viewing, yet somehow they have done the impossible and made it boring...
 
Someone wake me up when next season starts please....Or not...

Friday Follies: A sexist automotive joke...

Well why not, no-one reads this bloody thing anyway...*grin*

Anyhoo...stolen gratuitously from the interwebs:

With Euro going down, Ford to acquire Renault

Ford has announced plans to acquire French automaker Renault and engineering teams have already joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the Renault “Clio” and the Ford “Taurus”, they have designed the “Clitaurus”.

It comes in pink and the average male car thief won't be able to find it, let alone turn it on, even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it. Rumour has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over. New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain and horribly expensive to get rid of.

Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age.

Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger. This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it as needed.

---------------

I hope everyone has a great weekend, and if I offended anyone, hopefully I offended you so much you had to share this with your friends...because god knows, the stuff I've been writing up 'til now hasn't driven up the numbers of hits...

Cheers!!

The fourteen defining characteristics of Fascism

As I awoke today I heard reports that in 18 cities across the US, various Mayors (tinpot dictators) had apparently co-ordinated their efforts to 'evict' the Occupy camps in their various jurisdictions.

The fact that these Mayors (tinpot dictators) broke the law and violated the civil rights of the protesters by doing this obviously a) never entered their minds and b) isn't being reported by the presstitutes in the M$M, and frankly neither is really that surprising.

However, this is merely the lastest in a worrying trend in America.

In the case of the New York OWS 'eviction' (if by eviction you mean 'opportunity for small-dicked roided-up jack-booted arseholes to go and kick a few hippies') a judge in the wee hours of the morning granted an injunction against the 'eviction', but the Filth moved in anyway and arrested upwards of 200 protesters. Amongst those arrested were several credentialed journalists trying to cover the story. So much for freedom of the press. Oh, and the judge that sided with the OWS protesters was removed from further judgements in the case right after she made that ruling. Why? I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact that before she was a judge, she was a lawyer for the ACLU....

In other news, the Supreme Court has agreed to rule on a lawsuit brought against the President's Health Care Bill passed a couple of years ago. Justice Antonin Scalia and  his house-boy Justice Clarence Thomas were later that same day feted at a black-tie dinner thrown by the very same law-firm that will be presenting the case against the Health Care Bill.

If either of these situations were to occur in a Central American or Middle Eastern country, columnists and experts would be getting up on their hind-legs and pouring their derision on the 'banana republic mentality' of these countries, and demands for 'equality' and 'democracy' from the intelligentsia would issue forth. Politicians would be decrying the heavy-handed tactics of the militarized police units that were pepper-spraying and brutally beating non-violent protesters (and in one case shooting an Iraq War veteran in the head with a rubber bullet). But therein lies the problem. This isn't happening overseas. It is happening HERE.

Alot of people on the left like to throw the word "Fascism" around to describe the ever-increasing animosity by the 1% towards the 99% as evidenced by the actions of their bought-and-paid-for police forces (don't take my word for it, JP Morgan Chase just "donated" $4.6 million to the New York City Police Foundation ) but many people recoil from that description claiming that it invalidates the argument, or belittles the horrors of Hitler et al, but I would suggest that it is almost entirely accurate.

Dr. Lawrence Britt examined the fascist regimes of Hitler, Mussolini, Franco, Suharto and several Latin American regimes. He noticed that there were 14 common characteristics which I have posted below. I invite you to read them all, and then consider if they remind you of any country in particular. One that claims to be the last bastion of true democracy left on the planet...

1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism - Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottos, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia. Flags are seen everywhere, as are flag symbols on clothing and in public displays.

2. Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights - Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of "need." The people tend to look the other way or even approve of torture, summary executions, assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.

3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause - The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe: racial , ethnic or religious minorities; liberals; communists; socialists, terrorists, etc.

4. Supremacy of the Military - Even when there are widespread domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.

5. Rampant Sexism - The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are made more rigid. Divorce, abortion and homosexuality are suppressed and the state is represented as the ultimate guardian of the family institution.

6. Controlled Mass Media - Sometimes to media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives. Censorship, especially in war time, is very common.

7. Obsession with National Security - Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.

8. Religion and Government are Intertwined - Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to the government's policies or actions.

9. Corporate Power is Protected - The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.

10. Labor Power is Suppressed - Because the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed.

11. Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts - Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. It is not uncommon for professors and other academics to be censored or even arrested. Free expression in the arts and letters is openly attacked.

12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment - Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws. The people are often willing to overlook police abuses and even forego civil liberties in the name of patriotism. There is often a national police force with virtually unlimited power in fascist nations.

13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption - Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability. It is not uncommon in fascist regimes for national resources and even treasures to be appropriated or even outright stolen by government leaders.

14. Fraudulent Elections - Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against or even assassination of opposition candidates, use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and manipulation of the media. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.

Sound familiar?

Liberal media? Don't make me larf son...

I hate to disappoint those of you that may have enjoyed the recent break I took from political posts to read my witty and acerbic take-downs of some of today's cardboard and silicon celebrities, but I simply have to share this with you.

I have absolute proof that the Corporate Media in this country is not only decidedly not "liberal", but they are actively "pro-republican".

To whit this story:

In 2009 the National Christmas Tree Association proposed a $.15 fee be charged to all tree growers so that the association could garner more funds to promote the crop that they represent, you know, kinda like how the Milk Board pays for those 'Got Milk?' ads...well they got approval from the vast majority of their growers (90% positive comments in favour during the review period) and decided to implement the fee through the US Dept of Agriculture.

So how did the rightwing frame this?  "Obama wants to tax Christmas trees."

Of course he does....

That part isn't the surprising bit, I expect that sort of blatant horseshit from those evil, twisted, manipulators of weak-minded morons, what was breath-taking was the speed with which the eager lap-dogs in the Corporate Media had their presstitutes press home that false story.

Don't believe me? Okay, here is the proof:

ABC: Senator aims to repeal Christmas Tree Tax

MSNBC: A tax on Christmas Trees?

CBS: Christmas Tree tax sidelined after uproar

ABC: Obama administration to delay new 15-cent Christmas Tree tax

Politico: Christmas tree tax tabled by Obama

This isn't just a case of lazy reporting (that is de rigeur nowadays), this is a case of the media taking a made-up story, and running with it, without EVER bothering to check the facts (you know, like proper journalists).

This should serve as a warning to those of us on the left, the media are NOT our friends, they are there to SHAPE THE MESSAGE...and this story is just the most recent, and glaringly fucking obvious, example of it...

The bigger tragedy is that the rest of America is too damned busy watching 'Dancing with the Stars', or 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' to see anything more than the deceptive, lying headlines...

And that is what they count on...

Hey Hollywood, I have an idea...how about you make a proper "reality show"?

You know, one that features some actual reality, not that silicon and botox-infused bullshit you force down our throats now, but proper "reality"...

How about you make a show featuring a family of four where both parents work two dead-end minimum-wage jobs with no health care and one week's vacation a year (spent at home on the couch because actually going anywhere costs too much fucking money), and both latch-key kids try and get good enough grades for scholarships because there's no fucking way on God's Green that their folks will ever be able to afford to send them to college on their own, and the family car is over 10-years old and they're still paying it off because they had to use it as collateral for a payday loan when one of the kids had to go to the emergency room, and the few credit cards they have are maxed out not because the parents are wasteful spenders but because the fucking credit card company keeps jacking up their interest rate, and they live in a shitty 2-bedroom apartment in a dodgy part of town because their house got foreclosed on by the bank that forgot to tell them when they re-financed that the interest rate they were getting for the first 12 months was just 'introductory' and would quadruple when it reset...you know the reality the rest of us know about?

How about it?

Nah, you're right....stick with the "Real housewives of (insert stuck-up over-priviliged neighbourhood here)" because it doesn't get more real than watching a bunch of cougars sitting around the marble-topped kitchen counter sipping Pinot Grigio and yapping about how they like to imagine that it's really Roberto the pool boy taking them doggy-style whenever their husbands decide to fuck them...

I forget, is America doomed because Hollywood is fucked in the head, or is it the other way around...??

Seems we've been here before...Lindsay Lohan sent back to jail....again...

In the revolving door that the LA Courthouse has now become for Lindsay Lohan, she has once again been sentenced back to jail for failing to meet the requirements of her parole arrangement. Due to the over-crowding situation in the California penal system what this will mean as far as actual time behind bars is up for debate, but the sensible money should be on "none". Again.

We all know that the rich and famous (i.e. powerful) answer to a different justice system than the rest of us, but this whole Lohan merry-go-round is making a mockery of even that farcical system of favours, nods and winks.

Any guesses as to how many years behind bars a young woman that had repeatedly broken the conditions of her parole would get if instead of being white, famous and featured in Playboy, but was instead a black, un-wed, un-employed mother of three from Compton?

Look, LA, we know you guys are a bit flaky, but will someone, for the love of dog, please lock that Lohan bitch up and get her the fuck off my television screen?? She's taking time away from more important shit...you know, the Michael Jackson Doctor Case and who will get custody of Kim Kardashian's huge arse in the divorce settlement...

I am almost too distraught to write this week...Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce...

The photos of the wonderful blushing bride have barely had a chance to fade in our collective memories, and yet this delicate little flower, with an ass the size of a Buick and an IQ smaller than her ring-size, has after just 71 days of completely committed matrimony to her no-name athlete husband, filed for divorce.

I know that most of you are just like me, shocked beyond belief that such a long-term courtship of almost six whole months would collapse, seemingly at random. But upon further inspection, it seems that the root of the problem appears to be the NBA lock-out.  You see, the longer it continues the less moolah her soon-to-be ex-husband brings in, which means he wound up mooching off her instead of the other way around. As we all know if there's one thing a grifter hates, it's another grifter, so, naturally, he had to be kicked to the kerb.

For those of you that don't know who this vacuous waste of silicon and hairspray is, let me just say that I envy you. Yours must be a wonderful world and I would do just about anything to trade places with you.

Her "reality show" is apparently like 99% of the rest of that banal genre, i.e. it is comprised of totally made-up situational bullshit designed to create controversy and ratings only, and has absolutely sweet fuck-all to do with "reality" in any shape or form whatsoever. I have never watched the "reality" show that she is part of, and I am only aware of her at all because of the continual television and super-market tabloid coverage of her cleavage (and her massive arse). She is famous simply for being famous, and her only real claim to fame is that she appeared in one of those Hollywood sex tapes where only one party was aware there was any filming going on. She mildly protested about the release of the tape, but only insofar as to make sure that everyone spelled her last name correctly. I'm not suggesting that she was part of a publicity stunt and feigned her innocence (who me?) but I do know that she got rich off that tape, and received a buttload (sorry - I had to) of free press for it.

I wouldn't be surprised to hear that there are perhaps some folks who are less than impressed with the speed with which this "marriage of the century" rapidly turned into utter farce. Most especially those tabloid magazines that got hood-winked into forking over a ton of cabbage for the "exclusive rights" to the entire wedding spectacle. But before they rush off and kick-start the lawyers, I have an idea. Rather than suing her for the standard million-bazillion-katrillion dollars, could they instead, just ask for a judgement that forever and always bans her and her sisters/mother/any-other-relative from ever being allowed to be seen on the telly again?

That would be a lawsuit just like her massive bum...you know...one we could ALL get behind...

Cheers!!!

Trick or Treat...with 6,999,999,999 of your closest friends....

On Monday October 31st, 2011 whilst kids in the western world celebrate the festival of All Hallows Eve by participating in the annual ritual of door-to-door extortion for candy, another truly scary milestone in the history of our planet will be reached. By Monday morning there will be 7 Billion human beings on the planet.

Seven Billion.

I can't visualize a number that large and have it make any sense to me...If I were standing on a beach there are trillions of grains of sand granted, but it all makes just one beach. 7 Billion people on the other hand, make a helluva lot more than one beach. Keeping that many people fed, housed, clothed, educated, watered, employed and tended to is simply not possible. The planet just doesn't have the resources. In point of fact, the resources we do have are being consumed at such alarming rates that before we have another war over oil, we may very well have wars over food, or water instead. And can you imagine that amount of waste that 7 billion humans create? It's a wonder that we're not neck-deep in shit already...

As with the plethora of other cheery folks predicting the end of the world as we know it via disease, famine, pestilence, violence or Republican Presidents (cockroaches will rule the planet one day...you mark my words), the newest are those that say that we are simply going to breed ourselves out of existence. In much the same way that global warming will eventually drown all of Florida and most of New York (and not a moment too soon), and the CDC boffins say that a new flu-type virus could easily wipe out a couple of billion people, now it appears we are heading to our doom because there are too many guys that don't wear rubber johnnies...

So I will add this as a sort of public service message to try and do my part to ease the problem:

"Fellas! Don't be a fool, cover your tool...after all, the planet you save, might just be your own..."

Cheers!

Friday Follies: Of cell phone hacking and nekkid pictures...

..as some of you may have heard, there is a separate phone hacking scandal going on in the world that actually doesn't involve Satan and his offspring at NewsCorpse Inc. This one involves a single low-life in Florida who hacked into the phones and e-mails of celebrities with the aim of getting information and/or pics that he could sell to the tabloids. Well, he hit the proverbial jackpot when he hacked into Scarlett Johansson's phone. You see, she had used it to take pictures of herself, sans clothing, and this industrious perv snagged 'em and put them on the interwebs for everyone to see. After 30 or 40 minutes of looking at all of those naked pictures myself, I came to the conclusion that this was an awful violation of her privacy.

But then I got to thinking "wait a minute, who keeps naked pictures of themselves on their phone?"...I would totally understand if her boyfriend/shagging partner/lucky git had pictures of her in the all-together, that would make total sense, but who is narcissistic enough to keep pictures of themselves on their own phone? Isn't the whole point of smart phones the fact that you can use them to take pictures of other naked people? Did she need to hold onto them them in case she forget what she looked like nude? Maybe she kept them in case she got pulled over by the Fuzz, you know,  'I am so sorry officer, I didn't mean to run that busload of nuns off the road, by the way, want to see some pictures of me naked?' But then again, most Hollywood types don't get tickets (unless they're named Lindsay Lohan and are in desperate need of publicity) so I'm not sure it's that either. I do realize that most A-listers are vain and in constant need of self-affirmation, but toting around pictures of oneself in the nude has to be the height of self-absorption doesn't it? Which reminds me, I really do need to delete those pictures of the missus from our holiday...

Cheers!!!

Herman Cain is the stupidest man alive...

I have refrained from commenting about the lastest flavour-of-the-month candidate in the ongoing, slow-motion train-wreck that is the gop presidential nomination process up to this point, but his latest utterance is just too much to pass up.

But before we go there, a quick re-cap of the race so far:

The gop has already fallen in and out of love with Rick Perry, the one guy in Texass that made Dumbya appear erudite and spohisticated (apparently your Pastor can insult Mormons, but Catholics are off-limits). They never got to fall in love with Chris Christie (he was too busy ordering a couple of pies and a bucket of ravioli from the local pizzeria), and whilst the other religious fanatics still in the race, Frothy Mix and Batshit Crazy-Lady desperately try and hang on, the inevitable candidate, Mitt Romney, stands there with not much else to do but smile and wave. Mittens is sort of like the prom date your parents picked out for you, he shows up on the porch, corsage in his hand, waiting for you to face up to the reality that like it or not, he is going to be the one that takes you to the dance. And just like that un-ruly teenage daughter, the fickle gop-voter has decided to thumb their nose once more, and run off with Herman Cain instead.

This self-loathing multi-millionaire black man, who in an alternate universe would probably try and lynch himself if he could, has suggested building an electric fence around the entire US border, posited that Sharia law is going to break out across America unless he gets elected, and that the poor and un-employed have only themselves to blame and not the greedy motherfuckers on Wall Street and their paid accomplices in D.C. Herman has a habit of saying some really stupid things. In fact most of what comes out of his mouth is either totally ridiculous, entirely-made-up or just complete bullshit, but he has now plumbed the depths of the most stone-fuckingly stupid things to say out loud, by suggesting that Jesus Christ was the perfect Conservative who was sentenced to death by a Liberal court.

Now whether you believe in those 2000 year-old fables or not, the one thing that can be wholly agreed upon is that in today's America (most especially in the South) Jesus Christ would be considered a screaming, bleeding-heart, dyed-in-the-wool, San Francisco-loving, hippy-dirtbag-liberal, who is in dire need of some soap and quite probably a couple of hundred sessions on the waterboard as well. The other thing that can be agreed upon is that the folks that ordered him to be put to death were anything other than Liberal.

This one statement alone proves that Cain is utterly un-qualified to hold the office he is running for, and also makes him quite possibly the most stupid person alive.

Whereby the United States Congress channels its' inner Marie Antoinette....

Here in America we continue to witness the genesis of a genuine 'grass-roots uprising' as the Occupy Wall Street movement continues to gather steam (unlike the Tea Party which is merely a physical manifestation of the racist fringe of the republican party and a wholly-owned subsidiary of Koch Industries). The OWS movement has captured the imagination of those that for a very long time have felt left out, stepped-on, beaten-down, and used and abused by a system that tilts evermore in the favour of the 'haves' over the 'have nots'. In other words the 99% of the rest of America that haven't seen their lives drastically improve since 2000, but instead have had their dreams and hopes destroyed by a system that is becoming exponentially more corrupt as every day passes.

There have been a few on the left of the political sphere that have voiced their support for the movement, but those voices have not necessarily been welcomed with open arms. One of the main reasons being that the very object of the OWS's ire is the entire system these politicians represent, one which they feel is broken, skewed and thoroughly corrupt. Naturally the presstitutes in the M$M did their very best to ignore the whole situation for the first week, but as the crowds grew, and as the cops stepped in with their usual hob-nailed boot tact and pepper-sprayed the unarmed protesters, it finally made it's way onto the front pages.

Whilst the politicians and pundits on the right have poured their scorn on the protesters, calling them 'filthy hippies', 'unemployed free-loaders' and other such compassionate christian phrases, Congress itself has decided to provide the ultimate "let them eat cake" moment....

As the OWS movement rallies against the preferential treatment given to Corporate America by those in Congress in the form of tax breaks and tax loopholes, and Senate republicans voted to not even entertain a debate about the President's jobs bill, never mind a vote on the actual bill itself, comes news that both Houses are seriously considering on giving an almost 300% tax break to corporations that decide to repatriate money they sent offshore.

Let me break that down for you: the proposal would lower the repatriation tax rate of offshore corporate money coming back into the US, money that was sent overseas initially so that it could avoid any taxation at all, from 35% to 9%.  And just so you understand we are talking about hundreds of billions of dollars here (that's billions with a 'B') not just a couple of mill here or there, but a metric shit-ton of money.

I am hard-pressed to come up with a situation where there has been a more spectacular display of being completely and utterly tone-deaf as this. Whilst the banks are illegally throwing people out of their own homes, whilst credit card companies continue to charge usurious interest rates even if you've always paid on time and never been over your limit, and thousands of ordinary people in the "richest country in the world" have to decide whether to buy food or pay for their medication, this collection of malcontents, nit-wits and village idiots have decided that the very best course of action for them to take is to give the Corporations another fucking tax break.

Let them eat cake, indeed.....

Just in case you were in any doubt....

The republicans "swept" into power in the house of Representatives last year promising that 'Job creation is our number one priority'....Last night their Senate counterparts voted thusly:

Any questions?

Hell Freezes over...wherein the author feels kinda bad for Mooselini...sort of...you betcha...also...

News came late this past Wednesday evening that the former part-time governor of Alaska and full-time right-wing glory-hole grifter had finally decided NOT to run for President.

As I lept around my living room in joyous bounds of gratitude that we won't have to suffer that annoying-as-fuck whiny-voice of hers on the campaign trail for the next 18 months, came the news that someone infinitely more important had died suddenly. Steve Jobs had passed away at 56 years of age.

I am not a huge Apple computer fan having bought nothing but PC's my whole life (the exception being the Apple Lappy the kid got for xmas last year after her newest and most expensive laptop PC had comprehensively shit the bed less than 12 months after being purchased....fuck you very much Vista/Windooze 7...) but I have bought a plethora of different iPods over the years, both for myself and for others. They were simple to set up and use, worked like clockwork, and ran perfectly unless they were dropped (or dunked) more than a few times. He helped take the fear out of new-fangled gadgetry for idiots and morons like me. For this alone Steve Jobs belongs in Heaven.

I know that his iFans will be extremely iSad to hear of his iDeath, but there is one tiny, tiny glimmer of a silver-lining about the timing of his death, and that is that the announcement of his passing came literally minutes after Sister Sarah made her 'news' public, and thereby completely extinguished (hopefully her final) fifteenth minute of non-deserved fame. There is something poetic about that happenstance. An ignorant, bitter, uneducated, spiteful and lazy fourth-rate celebrity had her final moment of 'Me! Me! Me!' self-idolatry snuffed out by a nerdy visionary that helped educate millions around the world with the products that all sprang up from an idea that he and a mate conjured up in their garage.

And for that too, Steve Jobs,  iThank you.

No nukes, is good nukes....

As the nuclear disaster at the Fukushima Daiichi power plant slowly fades from memory, ably aided by a press corps with the attention span of a crystal-meth addicted gnat, comes news that England's own dirty little nuclear secret may be coming back to bite the Brits on the butt.

As this very interesting article points out Sellafield could very well wind up being just as bad as Chernoybl in the long run. You see, when mankind was busy playing with its' new toy, you know, blowing pacific atolls to tiny pieces without bothering to remove the local inhabitants, it did what any small child would do on any christmas morning, and just rip through the wrapping paper, tearing open the boxes without worrying about having to clean up afterwards. Well now it's time to clean up and it looks as though it is going to be bloody expensive, and bloody dangerous.

As the proof of global warming becomes more and more obvious, massive ozone holes now opening over the Arctic, mass tree die-offs around the world, the rush to find cleaner fuel is (pardon the phrase) really starting to heat up. But rather than focus on non-lethal methods of powering the planet, mankind is focusing its' attention on something even more deadly to the planet than fossil fuels, and that is more nukes. This is the grand-daddy of bad ideas. It is the ultimate example of jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. As more and more fossil fuel gets burned and returned to the atmosphere the planet (and it's residents) slowly gets closer and closer to the end of life as we know it. If you build hundreds of nuclear power plants as the solution, and they go bang, you can end life as you know it on this planet almost immediately. Yay efficiency!

However, if you used wind, solar and tidal energy for the grid, and heavily invested in converting cars to hydrogen power which would emit not much more than water out of the exhaust, you could really make a difference in improving the planet's health and create millions of new jobs at the same time. Holy shit, what a concept!! And that of course is exactly why politicians on the right, regardless of country, are 100% against it. There's no-one bribing contributing to their campaigns in sufficient dollar amounts to make it worth their while.

Fox Sports gets into the lying business...you know, just like its' parent company...

I posted an article on Farcebook last week briefly dealing with this topic, but I wanted to discuss it further here.

In case you have absolutely no idea what I am talking about here's a quick refresher...In this season's NFL home opener, Fox Sports broadcast the Bears game. During the game they made reference to several local newspaper headlines that had slammed Jay Cutler's pathetic performance in last year's NFC Championship game. The only problem was that the headlines flashed on the tv screen were all complete and total fabrications. None of the Chicago local papers had published any of the headlines that Fox said they did.

In other words, they lied.

Now we fast forward a couple of weeks, and Fox Sports has issued an apology on National Telly, only when you read it, it's not really an apology at all. You see, an apology would have included owning up to what they had done by saying something like "we're really sorry we totally made this shit up, Jay Cutler, please don't sue us", but, being a Fox subsidiary, they offered a "we didn't mean to offend anyone/sorry for the mistake/silly us, we promise not to do it again" statement that sounds like an apology without actually being one...

Let's take a closer look at what they said shall we? The Fox "apology" says that they displayed an "incorrect graphic". Hmmm. Are they suggesting that the person, or persons that created those graphics, meant to fabricate something else instead? Did they use the wrong font? Did they mean to use graphics with other, made up lies instead? I call bullshit. I think those graphics were 100% correct. They wanted them to look like newspaper headlines, and that's exactly what they looked like. What they said was 100% completely and totally fucking made-up bullshit, yes, but they weren't incorrect in the slightest.

Then, as the "apology" continues, they go on to say that when the graphics were displayed on screen, they told the announcer that they were from real headlines, so that when he said that they were from local newspapers, he was merely repeating what he was told by his production team, over the air. They said that was a mistake, and they were sorry. You see that? They were sorry for telling their on-air announcer that the bullshit headlines were true when in fact they weren't, but they weren't sorry that they'd made up the bullshit headlines in the first place. Clever, huh?

But the coup de gras in this sorry affair is the semi-apology offered earlier in the week by a person with the hysterically inappropriately titled position of  Fox Sports VP of Communication. This rocket scientist suggested that they were just "trying to capture the sentiment of the game (the NFC Championship game) and used the wrong word." I'm sorry, but what? They used the wrong word? Which one was wrong? I call bullshit on this one too. Here's the deal, they didn't use the wrong word, they were ALL the wrong words because Fox Sports made them all up.

Here's the bottom line, everyone expects to be lied to on their "news" network mothership, but if Fux Sports starts treating their sports viewers with the same level of sneering condescension and disdain that they have for their brain-dead "news" viewers, they could be in for a very rough ride indeed.

Further proof the rethuglicans don't give a f*ck about you...

The republican leadership in Congress just proved to us all that they are amoral assholes with no conscience or ethical boundaries. In their desire to mortally wound the President's re-election bid, the party of 'No' has thrown up obstacle after obstacle to the economic policies presented designed specifically to help re-fire the sagging American economy. Time after time the hypocritical bastards would get up on their hind legs after voting down the President's proposals and belch their talking points into the nearest microphone suggesting that what they were really doing was "protecting the American people". Protecting them from what no-one bothered to ask, although it was clear to most that the people they were actually protecting was the corporations that owns them lock, stock and rancid barrel.

The really frustrating thing was that there was never any real proof that they wanted to hurt the economy in order to achieve their goal. Until now, that is. With this single letter to the chairman of the Fed, the leadership of the gop has just shown themselves, in clear and concise terms, that they are nothing more than partisan political whores who are more than willing to see the economy go down in flames if it means the President might not get re-elected.

And these stupid inbred fuckers wonder why their collective approval ratings is only slightly higher then genital warts.

More republican hypocrisy anon...

An honest republican....yes there is such a thing...

A texass congessman want off-script recently and admitted that all of the women-hating legislation they've been busy introducing from coast to coast, rather than jobs bills which they said was their number one priority, IS in fact, a war on woman's reproductive rights. Whilst the accidental honesty is refreshing, it is quickly overcome by the fact that the smiling moron that issued it simply doesn't understand the depths of his party's hypocrisy. You see, there's another bunch of religious fundamentalists that like to control what women do...but we bomb them because they're evil, they worship the wrong imaginary sky-wizard, have brown-skins, and they supposedly hate us for our freedoms...

And that, in a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen, is today's GOP....a bunch of science-denying, faith-healing, creationist whack-jobs whose idea of getting government out of people's lives is by telling half of the population what they may, and may not do, with their own bodies....

Time for a drink I think....have a great weekend!

Why state-sanctioned murder is wrong....and right...

Tonight, two different men are going to be murdered. One will be murdered in Texas, the other in Georgia. One did the crime, said he did it, said he'd do it again if he had the chance, the other one was convicted without any physical evidence whatsoever, no murder weapon, no DNA, just nine eye-witness statements, of which seven have been either fully or partially recanted.

As an admitted screaming-pinko-liberal this should place me in quite the quandry. Liberals, almost by definition, should be against the death penalty in both cases, regardless of the nature of the crime. Well, not this Liberal.

In the case of the vicious animal being put down in Texas tonight (the one and only time I am EVER likely to agree with anything pRick Perry does) there is no doubt as to his guilt. He, and a bunch of his racist pals chained a black man (James Byrd) to the back of a pick-up truck and dragged him to death. The coroner has surmised that Byrd was alive for a good portion of the event, including when various limbs were torn from his body, and only died after he was decapitated. This happened in this country, in this century. I not only think this piece of filth should be executed, I think it should be televised so that all of his white supremacist buddies can see what justice looks like.

In the Troy Davis case in Georgia, we have the opposite scenario. A man that has protested his innocence from the very beginning was convicted as I said above, with the most marginal of cases presented against him. Seven of the nine eye-witnesses have now backed away from their original stories, and there is no physical evidence that links him to the crime, but the state will murder him tonight anyway. And in case you think this is just some sort of "let's take pity on the poor black man" cause celebre bullshit, know this; one of the most important opponents to this execution is the former director of the FBI, William Sessions, a person not best known for his "liberal" views. None of this reasonable doubt matters to the Georgia Pardons board though, who yesterday basically said 'tough shit' and denied a last-minute appeal for clemency.

So what happens tonight? Well, barring any last minute reprieves, the state of Georgia will murder a man that could very well be 100% innocent, and the state of texas will murder a man that is 100% guilty.

And this particular Liberal thinks that is wrong. And right.

Outrage-fatigue...wherein the author suffers from a case of the 'meh's....

Since returning from my holiday in Hawaii (why everyone in the world doesn't live there I have no clue) I have been suffering quite badly with the 'blahs'....most especially with getting back into the groove of writing for the least read blog in the universe (now two years running - Yay!!)...

I realize that almost no-one reads the bloody thing, and although I do see rankings for the articles (thank you), i'm not generating alot of comments. I appreciate that it might be a bit of a pain in the arse to post a comment, but I would genuinely appreciate the feedback, both positive and negative, to help me figure out what works and what doesn't.

There is no lack of stuff to write about to be sure, but I think I may be suffering from outrage-fatigue as I try and figure out which of the myriad of choices I have to actually focus my ire on....

....F'rinstance, the gop continues to shamelessly whore for the wealthy by calling President Obama's latest call to tax the uber-wealthy as "class warfare". It's stupid fucking phrases like that which make teh baby jeebus cry. No, you facile, orange-coloured twat, it's only "class warfare" when we starting fighting BACK....

....Or the faux-outrage that the reich-wing is currently trying to gin up about a Solar company that went bankrupt even after receiving Gummint Loans, but they continue to authorize paying a million dollars a second in Afghaniraq without batting an eye....

....Or the gop congressman that is whining that after paying taxes and wages at his various businesses he only has $400,000.00 left to feed his family. That congressman's "problem" equates to $7600 a week after taxes....for a wage-slave like myself, that seems to be a very high-end problem...such a mind-blowingly disconnected sort of statement is in the realm of "Let them eat cake" in my opinion in it's heartless ignorance, and anytime that clueless ingrate wants to swap paychecks with me I'm all in favour....

....Or the outright incitement to "kill liberals" issued by (proven) serial liar Andrew Breitbart this past weekend...I realize that this stupid fucktard has to say more and more radical things in order to get quoted in the M$M anymore, especially after he was found out to be a complete and utter fraud when he tried to smear Shirley Sherrod, but his idiot followers are the ones that take this shit to heart, and people could get hurt...or does the name Gabby Giffords not ring a bell? Bottom line, what he said was dangerous, irresponsible and quite possibly, illegal...

Can you understand now after coming back from seven days in Paradise how I am just filled with 'meh'....?

For all of my reader I will try and pull my shit together this week and continue to write stuff that nobody reads, in the meantime, I hope that all four of you that actually may read this have a great week..

Cheers!

9/11 - Ten Years After - My thoughts

I decided to write this and post it after the tenth anniversary of 9/11 for two reasons. One was that I didn't want my thoughts to be construed in any way possible as being disrespectful to those that died on that horrible day, and the second was that I didn't want anyone to think I was just being a cold-hearted bastard.

Well, here we are, a few days after the 10th anniversary and we've seen all of the flag-waving, we've heard 'God Bless America' eight million times and we've heard the 'USA' chants at various and sundry sporting events, and the net impact of what we've apparently learned since the towers came down is actually pretty close to zero.

Let me be very, VERY clear about something from the start: what happened that day was a terrible crime against humanity. Thousands of innocent people died that day for reasons they didn't understand, and hundreds of thousands more would similarly die in the months and years afterwards, equally uninformed as to what it was they had done personally to deserve a premature death.

The men and women that died trying to help their fellow humans that day were, and always will be, true heroes and heroines. I have never understood what makes people want to run into a burning buildings to save complete and total strangers, but I am grateful that there are so many that do. On that day those people demonstrated the kind of selfless humanity that was so utterly lacking in those that planned and carried out their cowardly mission.

And then there are the politicians.

Whenever I think of a politician I normally envision a slimy, toad-like, fork-tongued creature. Someone that is capable of talking out of both sides of their mouth at the same time, with no qualms that they are the walking embodiment of human refuse, and completely and totally devoid of a moral compass.

The days after 9/11 were to show the world just how despicable the genus 'politicus americanus' could be.

On both sides of the aisle.

The republicans, led by their cheer-leading simpleton in the Oval Office, became the prime examples of why Americans are hated abroad more than any other variety of tourist, with their braying and loutish proclamations of  'we're gonna get 'em dead or alive', and 'you're either with us, or against us'. They became the zenith of dumbed down 'Cowboy Diplomats', thumping their chests in impotent rage, knuckle-dragging morons to a man.

The Democrats on the other hand, simply laid down and died. None of them, separately or together, could muster the spinal or intestinal fortitude necessary to suggest that it was possible to both honour those that had died and sacrificed on that terrible morning, and question how it had come to pass that 19 men (15 of whom were from Saudi Arabia) armed with nothing more dangerous than box-cutters and radical religion, had managed to bring the self-proclaimed most powerful country in the world to its knees, all in the space of a few hours.

Here's the part some of you aren't going to like. I am not going to go into all of the various and sundry conspiracy theories that have sprung up since that day, but I will tell you this: in my opinion, the official story of what happened that day is precisely that, a story. The 9/11 commission report would be almost complete fiction if it hadn't used real people's names. Face it, the republicans spent over $40 million investigating Bill Clinton's blow-job, but less than $14 million on the worst terrorist attack on US soil in American history. None of the key-players were placed under oath, none of their testimony was recorded, and they were not allowed to subpoena people, or follow promising leads. In other words, the narrative had already been written before the first commissioner had been picked.

What we DO know about events after that day was that a 342-page bill that was written pre-tragedy, just waiting for the right moment, that would dramatically alter the Constitution of the United States, and radically increase the powers of the Presidency and his spying agencies, was passed entirely unread and almost unanimously by the sheep in Congress in the dead of night. If that bill were to have been entered under any other circumstances, by any other administration, it would have been ridiculed as the unconstitutional power-grab that it is, and the person that presented it would have been laughed out of office. As it is, the person that presented it was "re-elected" (again, only if you believe the narrative), and his subsequent predecessor, an alleged Constitutional scholar, requested that it be re-authorized, wholly as is. Much to our chagrin it was.

What we also know about what happened after 9/11 is that the memories of those that died was cynically used by a war-hungry administration to justify starting a war against a sovereign country that had nothing to do with the attacks at all. It did have everything to do with furthering an oil-grabbing agenda that had been in place before those planes had even left Logan International Airport. Are you really surprised that two Texan oilmen would have grabbed the chance that 9/11 offered to them, especially the pea-brained younger one with Daddy-issues? Of course not.

But what angers me most about the last ten years as that the united feeling we all had immediately following 9/11 was cynically twisted by a powerful few to drive a stake deep into the heart of the framework of this great Republic, and perhaps forever alter its destiny.

We have had to give up our freedoms from random invasive and blatantly unconstitutional body-searches at airports, we have had the right to privacy in our verbal, electronic and written communications stripped from us, and when we ask if we are on someone's watch list, we run the risk of being put on that list. The President now has the authority to strip an American of their citizenship, or their life, without any review or recourse. Right to a speedy trail? Gone. Fourth amendment protections in your home or of your person? Gone. We are told we are "un-American" if we question what happened that day, we were told that if we didn't support the President (at least the republican one, apparently it is okay to question the legitimacy of the President if he is a Democrat) we were being "un-Patriotic". People that voiced their dissent loudly were attacked, sometimes physically. Some were black-listed. The USA didn't come together, it fell apart, and worse still, it moved backwards, back to the 1950's. People became afraid to speak out, people that had been friends for years, suddenly became raging, screaming enemies. And where was the supposed "liberal media" as all of this was going on? Why, the presstitutes were out front and centre of course, leading the cheers with flag-waving banners on their screens, and blaring headlines touting our brave commander-in-chief as he declared war on a noun and attacked the wrong country entirely.

So here we are 10 years later, picking the scab off that horrendous wound once more in raucous displays of fervent patriotism at football and baseball games, whilst still waging war against a noun, fighting two and a half wars half a world away, and with the citizenry at home more polarized than before the attacks. I'm not suggesting for a single second that the goat-fucking sonofabitch that dreamt this attack up and who is currently enjoying a dirt-nap at the bottom of the Indian Ocean won anything that day, but I can tell you this, it sure feels like we haven't either.

And that makes me sad, ten years later on.

Oh I say! ....or why the younger Williams brother needs to be thrown out of tennis...permanently...

..besides the fact that she has the physique of a double-decker bus, the cooth and manners of a drunken Essex Chav on a Friday night, and the grace and poise of a pregnant walrus, it's her over-active mouth and her latest outburst in a grand-slam tournament match that should result in her being banned from the game forever.

I grew up in an era where a long icy stare at the chair umpire with your hands on your hips was thought to be skirting the edge of protocol, so when John McEnroe came along, the tennis world was literally thrown on its ear. In major tournaments around the globe, young tennis fans received vocabulary lessons that would normally only have been learned by sneaking a listen to Billy Connolly or Richard Pryor records, you know, the ones your parents hid behind the 'Abba - Greatest Hit Compilation' LP, thinking you wouldn't know where to look. McEnroe used heretofore un-uttered nouns and verbs on a tennis court in a myriad of interesting hues and conjugations (mostly deep blue) that shocked the tennis establishment to it's very core. Sure he used some colourful language, sure he said some nasty things, and sure he paid a price for it, but not once did he threaten an umpire or line judge with physical violence.

In Serena William's temper-tantrum in 2009 however, she did just that. She threatened a line judge with physical violence after disagreeing with a line call. Not only did she do it in a public place where people could hear her, it was captured in full colour and surround-sound for all to digest. So what did Serena do? Did she publicly apologize for her disgraceful behaviour and commit to acting more professionally in the future? Fuck no. She denied she said anything wrong and tried to laugh it off saying she 'couldn't remember what she may or may not have said in the heat of the moment'. Flash forward to last night, and once again Serena Williams publicly lost her fucking mind and went all 'Gangsta-Bitch' on the Chair Ump who had the audicity to penalize her for her verbal abuse of her opponent. Again, what she said was recorded in glorious colour and sound, for all to see and play again and again, and yet once more, Serena played the 'I don't remember what I said' game as though we were all just a bunch of stupid children that could be fooled over and over again with her simplistic ruse.

Well sorry Hon, but in your vernacular,  Homey don't play dat...

You see, what we have now is a clear pattern, a series of events that all look remarkably alike. You play in a high-profile event, you get a call you don't like, you lose your rag, you hurl verbal abuse at the people you deem to have wronged you, and then when shown incontrovertable evidence of your wrong-doing you claim ignorance due to some sort of 'athletic-amnesia' known only to you. You know what us non-athletes call that? We call it "bullshit". If we behaved that way, either publicly or at our workplaces we would be in some serious shit, and if you aren't thrown out of the game and/or fined heavily enough for it to actually be a punishment for this latest petulant, unprofessioanl and borderline criminal outburst, then that will be an even bigger pile of bullshit.


*UPDATE. The U.S. Open fined Serena $2000 whole dollars for her outburst. I am sure that will put a massive dent in the $1.4 million she earned at the tournament and that she will bear that in mind in the future....

Friday Follies: The 'Plus ca change' edition....

Two things apparently haven't changed in the 10 days since I last posted...no-one read this fucking thing, and President Obama caved in again to the republicans...twice...

More next week...maybe...

Friday Follies: The 'screw you lot, I'm going on vacation' edition...

No-one reads this bloody thing anyway so I'm going on holiday...

Cheers!

For this "Environmentally-Friendly" President it is time to put-up, or shut-up...

You wouldn't know this from the M$M in the US, but there has been an ongoing, peaceful protest outside the Whitehouse in Washington D.C. which has resulted in hundreds of arrests. Whilst the presstitutes in the lapdog media chase their own tails covering a story about a missing attractive white-woman in Aruba (note to hot white chicks, don't go to Aruba), and get themselves all a-lather about a "massive" 5.8 earthquake on the East Coast (note to East-coasters, the California sub-strata farts bigger than 5.8), normal, average citizens along with a few minor celebrities, have decided to protest a trans-continental pipeline that some have called the "end-game" for the planet's climate.

Among those arrested is a personal hero of mine, Bill McKibben, a tireless advocate for the environment and founder of 350.org. He also authored one of the most startling and 'un-put-downable' books about global climate change that I have ever read. The book's title is 'Eaarth' and I highly recommend to all of my reader that they get their hands on a copy as soon as possible, to get a real clue as to what is going on, and where we are headed.

Make no mistake, this pipeline would be an environmental disaster, not only along it's entire length (pipelines tend to break - just look at the recent disaster in the Yellowstone River in Montana if you don't believe me), but from it's source too. This isn't drilling, it is something much nastier and quite possibly the least 'clean' method of recovering oil known to man. The only thing more damaging to the planet would be to just open up the wells and let the oil belch out...oh wait...B.P. did that in the Gulf last year, and Shell did that earlier this month in the North Sea...Never mind.

But here's where the rubber meets the road. The company that wants to build this pipeline is Canadian, and as such they have to ask the U.S. State department permission to go ahead. This is not something that is up for congressional debate, conveniently side-stepping the inevitable hostage crisis that the rethuglicans would manufacture, but something that the Obama administration has the final word on, end of story. If Obama says yes, it goes ahead and once again the environment (and the entire planet) gets screwed, if he says no, it is dead in the water. Done. Finito. The question is, what will he say?

This is a defining moment in his Presidency. Some may argue that whacking OBL has the 'it' moment, or the collapse of Tripoli and Libya was the 'it' moment that vindicated his foreign policy and therefore cemented his legacy in the history books. I disagree. I think this decision is what will define him and his Presidency. Obama swept into office promising us that he would increase the efforts to "heal the planet", and try to strengthen environmental protections and invest heavily in 'green, sustainable' energy. Sadly he has fallen woefully short on all three promises. He was bullied into allowing more deep-sea drilling even as the Gulf was still being poisoned by BP, he has steadfastly refused to protect endangered animals, and he has proposed building more nuclear power plants (hello Fukushima) and invest in "clean-coal" (the single greatest example of corporate-speak ever). Wind power? Solar? Naaaah, faaaak orf mate, that's tree-huggin' hippie-shit...

Here's the bottom line: Obama can, with a single stroke of his pen, stand up for the environment and kill this project stone-fucking-dead, or he can do what he has done for almost the entirety of his Presidency, and continue to kowtow to the bidding of big business.

Sadly, I think I already know which way he will go.

Here's my pledge to you: If he does the former I will send a donation to his re-election campaign (even though I have said in the past I wouldn't).

If he does the latter I will send a donation to 350.org and hope that Obama's corporate benefactors send him enough money to get re-elected, because he will have seen his last dime from me.

Quite simply, it's time for him to put up, or shut up.

This is what being number one in the world looks like....

Congratulations to the entire team, especially their coach Andy Flower, who has instilled such a tremendous work ethic/ team-focus that they have been able to beat the convicts home and away in back-to-back Ashes victories, and whitewashed the former number one test team in the world 4-0...

Well done boys, you've done us all proud!!

Monday Morning Mutterings: I'm stumped...and no, that's not a lame cricket joke...

I find myself in a most unfamiliar and rather peculiar position this morning: I am not annoyed by anything much. I had a great weekend with my ladies, the weather was bloody gorgeous, the England cricket team is rampant, the Cubs continue to suck, Da Bears will probably blow, Da Bulls will probably amaze, the Blackhawks will likely kick some ass, and I am a week away from going on vacation.

So i'll save my snark about the fickle and insulting M$M coverage of another (potentially) dead white girl in Aruba, some vapid bubble-butted bitch's attempt to upstage the recent royal nuptials with her own exchanging of vows (for the second or third time - i'm not sure which), and the total lack of coverage of an environmental protest in D.C. until later in the week...

Have a great week you all...

Friday Follies: This time they're funny...I promise...

In the midst of all of the dire political news this week (and for a progressive, trust me, it was pretty bloody bleak) as the crazies in the gop presidential nomination contest try and out 'moron' each other in their race to the bottom, comes some news from the entertainment world that made me seriously laugh out loud. So I thought I would share it with you.

Amongst all of the vast variety of godawful dreck and santorum* currently on the American television airwaves, there is one particularly unappealing 'reality' show called 'Jersey Shore', that stands out as one of the absolute worst. I must confess that I have never actually watched this skid-mark of a show, but I have heard enough about it to know that I would hate everything about it. (For those of you that are saying to yourselves "If you've never watched it, how can you say that it sucks?" I say this, I have never had a red-hot-poker colonoscopy either, but I don't need to have one to figure out that it sucks, okay?) The premise, apparently, is simply following a bunch of unemployed Nu Joisey twenty-somethings around (alright, I assume they are unemployed...I mean I have never heard that they actually have jobs and I'm not sure that McDonald's allows cameras in their food-preparation areas anyway) in their never-ending quest to tan, go to the gym, shop, drink, shout, swear and fuck.

I know, sounds great doesn't it?? Ugh, kill me now.

Anyhoo, apparently one of the 'stars' of the show, a douche-nozzle who calls himself 'The Situation', has been approached by a clothing manufacturer with a rather large cash offer. Ordinarily this is what reality 'stars' are ultimately after, fame and fortune, you know, so that they can continue to tan, go to the gym, shop, drink, shout, swear and fuck, but this offer is a little different. You see, in this instance the clothing company (Abercrombie & Fitch) are willing to pay this mashed-up bag of stupid a very large amount of money NOT to wear their clothes. Yup, you read that right, they think he is soooooooooo toxic to their company image that they are willing to pay him, NOT to be associated with them in any way whatsoever.

The problem is, this dumbass will probably take it as a compliment.....but it is refreshing to see that at least one company out there has drawn the line as to just how low they are willing to go...


Which brings me to this question; look, I know that the money is still green, and it will still spend the same, but holy cow, just how bad do you have to suck to have someone offer to pay you NOT to use their product??


..............

Okay, I lied...there is going to be one tiny little bit about politics. Just in case you haven't seen it yet because you were vacationing on Pluto or something, here is the funniest picture of Batshit Bachmann you are ever likely to see....

I guess that's what she really meant when she said she was more than capable of handling President Obama...

Have a great weekend kids!!!





*Look it up - it's disgusting and funny at the same time, especially when you realize it's also the surname of one of the most rabidly anti-gay republicans currently on the campaign trail for the Whitehouse...

More proof that Global Climate Change is a vast hippie conspiracy theory...

....or not

I swear, the deniers won't believe it (as though climate change relies solely upon the belief of morons to actually exist) until they see all of Floriduh under water...which, come to think of it, might not be such a bad idea...

Too bad none of them can do the math...

Monday Morning Mutterings: The Mormon, the Moron and the Mouthpiece...

With deepest apologies to C.S. Lewis, but that line just popped into my head this morning as I digested the results of this weekend's Iowa Straw Poll . The three front-runners for the republican nomination became a little clearer, and it is not encouraging for those of us that like to be able to go to sleep at night knowing that when we wake up we will still be in a free and democratic republic. Mitt Romney skipped the whole thing so as not to have his media-gifted title of 'front-runner' tarnished by an ass-kicking from the crazy broad from Minnesota, and Rick Perry was a no-show as he only just jumped into the race and therefore wasn't on the ballot. I am not sure what illness afflicts the poor souls that decided that Michelle Bachmann was a better choice than Ron Paul or any of the other rethuglican crazies, but I sincerely hope it isn't contagious.

From a progressive's standpoint what took place this weekend was merely a precursor of teh stoopid that is about to befall this country over the next year and a half, and it doesn't make for pretty, or soothing reading.  The presstitutes in the M$M were falling all over themselves to cover this extravaganza of hatred, fear and bile, and they went orgasmic following Rick Perry's announcement that he is throwing his (ten-gallon) hat into the ring. Yeah, that's just what this country needs, another fucking Texan in the Whitehouse....

Now I know it's early days, but this field is so utterly and completely dreadful that you can't help but be scared at the thought of ANY of these certifiable lunatics making it into the Whitehouse. As a progressive, Obama has done a decent impression of a moderate republican (yes, they did exist at one time) and he has been little more than a series of let-downs and disappointments when it comes to sticking to liberal ideals, but shit, at least he's sane...The same can't be said about his potential opponents.

Ordinarily I would sit back and laugh at the crazy people playing at being grown-ups, but with the Corporations newly emboldened by the Citizen's United ruling, allowing them to spend untold millions on their favourite whore candidate, and the lapdogs in the media willing to do their bidding, I fear that there is a very real chance that one of these psychopaths could very well end up in the Oval Office.

Understand, in a 'fair' fight, with no interference from either Big Biz or a bent media machine this wouldn't even be close, not by a country mile, but that is not the case anymore, and there is a concerted effort by the right-wing and their Corporate paymasters to make sure that Obama is the first Black President not to get re-elected.

If this was just politics as normal, if this was just political gamesmanship and D.C. insider-type bullshit I would say 'so what' and move on, but the agenda proposed by these lunatics in the gop is so radical, so destructive, and so frightening to any non-crazy, freedom-and-liberty-loving person, that we have to suck it up and back the President, however let-down we may feel by him. Why? Because the alternative is simply too terrifying to contemplate.

Sinclair Lewis famously said "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag, carrying a cross". Take a look at the current republican candidates and tell me which one that doesn't apply to....

Not the best start to the week I know, but hey, I calls 'em as I see 'em....

Peace y'all.

Friday Follies: Sometimes there is a little justice in the world.

As many of you may not know private prisons, i.e. ones that are not run by the State, but run by corporations on behalf of the State, for profit, are an up and coming industry. Their insidious growth in the United States is staggering, and as more and more States look for ways to cut their budgets by paying corporations to run their State Penns for them, their growth is going to continue.

If that doesn't make you nervous, the fact that a judge in Pennslyvannia has just been sentenced to 28 years behind bars because he was taking kick-backs from the developer of one of these for-profit detention centres to send kids his way, should chill you to the bone.

This miserable, greedy, evil bastard ruined the lives of thousands of kids over the years by sending them to jail, rather than giving them more appropriate sentences, and in the process pocketed over a million dollars. I can think of nothing more despicable, and nothing more terrifying, than a system that allows a judge to have a financial interest in the outcome of criminal proceedings.

This country has already re-started de facto debtors prisons, and with the teabag terrorists rush to stem the flow of money going to the States from Washington, more and more States are going to have to cut ever-deeper in their own budgets. This in turn, will encourage the growth of more Corporate Prisons, and thereby increase the risk that life-ruining scams like this one, may happen again.

Thankfully, this particular corrupt bastard was caught, prosecuted and jailed, but one has to wonder if there are more of his kind out there right now, ruining countless lives whilst lining their own pockets...

Land of the free? Sure, if you have enough $$$$$$$$

Have a great weekend folks!

Riots and recalls and downgrades oh my!!!

The world seems to have slightly lost it's mind since the end of last week. In the UK, London (and several other cities) appear to be on fire. The reason (apparently) is that the Black community still has an issue with The Fuzz shooting unarmed men to death. Seems a bit strange bearing in mind that is an almost weekly occurence here in the land of the free* (actual 'freedom' may vary based upon religious belief, sexual orientation, colour of skin and/or State of residence)...

In the US of A the debt was downgraded, the stock market lost it's fucking mind and crashed out the nearest window, and the Speaker of the House (Sir John of Orange) got temporary amnesia. How else do you explain his press release after the news came out about S&P's downgrade that it was 'because the Democrats are in control in Washington'? Either he quit his job, there was a secret election and the Dems took back the House and no-one noticed, or he's a bald-faced fucking liar. (Hint, for those of you playing along at home, the answer is 'he's a bald-faced fucking liar').

But with all of this madness and mayhem going on there may be a small glimmer of hope. In the State of Wisconsin, which was Koch-punched last fall by a bunch of teabagging neanderthals that tried to roll that state's labour laws back to the 18th century, they are holding recall elections today of 6 republican State Senators. Despite the best efforts of the right-wing Koch-suckers in the Cheesehead State, who were unsuccessful in derailing the primary efforts of the Wis. Dems by running "fake" Dem candidates, today could mark the day when some semblance of sanity returns to that State. If the recalls are successful, a major road-block will be thrown up against the Tea-bagging agenda of the boss-eyed git that currently occupies the Statehouse there.

Here's hoping we finally get some good news on the political front, and get solid proof that the average Joe has had just about enough of these Teabagging morons and their self-defeating, extremist agenda.

Let's go Wisconsin!!! Recall them all!!!!

Monday Morning Mutterings: We're gonna need a bigger boat...

...so, after the market on Friday last, S&P decided to downgrade the credit rating of US Govt debt, even though the teabagging terrorists failed in their attempt to have the U.S. Govt default for the first time in history.

Quite naturally markets around the globe have used this as an excuse to collectively wet themselves and massive sell-offs have ensued.

They are forgetting one important thing: gettting downgraded by S&P, one of the rating agencies that is up to it's contingency fees in the CMO/CDO meltdown debacle that nearly caused the last crash in 2008, is rather like being told by Rupert Murdoch that you have no journalistic integrity. In other words, you have to consider the source. (Don't forget S&P made a $2 Trillion dollar error in their calculations and that still didn't deter them from making the downgrade anyway, and why would it, what's a couple of dozen zeros before the decimal place between friends?)

Bottom line, it's all a tempest in a teacup and the sign that you really ought to worry is if the Chinese suddenly stop buying dollars and switch to something more reliable. Like seashells, or magic beans.

Have a great week you all!

Friday Follies: Are you F*cking mad?

The markets quite comprehensively shit the bed yesterday as further proof that as economists, republicans make excellent truck drivers....In other news water is wet...

Baton down the hatches, keep your eyes open, and with any luck we'll all make it to happy hour....I'm buying...

Cheers!

Fukushima...yes it's still glowing...

I'm not deliberately trying to be a downer here, but just because the presstitutes in the M$M got bored with the story many weeks ago, doesn't mean it isn't still going on. The fact that TEPCO lied through their teeth when the spotlight was on them, means that now that the world media focus is elsewhere they can lie with fewer worries about being caught. That's a big problem when the lie isn't an oil-slick, or a phone-hacking scandal, but nuclear radiation.

One thing we should all take away from that article I linked is this: these massive new readings are as high as they are, solely because that's as high as the metering device can register. What that means is that the actual levels are likely several times worse, but they don't have anything that can measure that high....

So much for "clean" power...

Good thing President Obama doesn't want to build more nuclear power plants in the U.S......oh wait.....

Of debt ceilings and compromise...or why I wouldn't want Obama as a hostage negotiator..

The Scene: Washington D.C. Twilight. The Capitol Building is surrounded by hundreds of cop cars with their lights flashing brightly as the day gives way to night. A lone Sargeant has been using a megaphone to talk to some right-wing desperados that have holed themselves up in the Capitol Building. He has been talking to them for hours and been getting nowhere, so he calls for a hostage negotiator to back him up....

The hostage negotiator strolls up...

Prez:  "What's going on here Sargeant?"

Sarge: "There's a bunch of crazy-ass republicans in that building and they've taken the US economy hostage. They say they're going to kill the hostage unless they get 2.3 trillion in cuts."

Prez: "What? Gimme that megaphone (snatches megaphone from Sargeant's hands). Republicans, I agree with you that you should have the 2.3 trillion in cuts, let me go to my rich friends and get the money from them."

Republicans: "Fuck that, they've suffered enough. Get it from the poor and middle class."

Prez: "Let's be reasonable, I can get the money more easily from my rich friends, and they won't miss it as much as the poor and the middle class".

Republicans: "Are you fucking deaf? We said get it from the poor and the middle class, there's more of them than there are of us, um, the rich, so they have more to give."

Prez: "Hahahaha, a deaf joke? Is that because of the size of my ears?"

Republicans: "No you fucktard, if we wanted to make fun of your ears we would have called you Dumbo...now GIVE US THE CUTS OR THE HOSTAGE GETS IT!!!"

Prez: "Whoa now....let's calm down, I'm sure we can work things out. How about I give you your cuts and make the poor and the middle class pay for them, AND let you call it a victory for your side, AND piss off everyone that voted for me the last time? Would you agree to let the hostages go then?"

Republicans: "Only if we get to publicly laugh at you and call you Dumbo from now on."

Prez: "Deal!"

Republicans: (under their breath) "Shit that was too easy, we should have asked for naked pictures of Jill Biden as well. Never mind, we'll get that in a few months time when we 'negotiate' the budget, hehehehehehehe."

Sargeant: "All due respect Sir, but you suck as a negotiator. They got everything they wanted, PLUS some."

Prez: "My dear Sargeant, no-one really got hurt and the hostage made it out alive. That's what compromising is all about."

Sargeant: (under his breath) "Whatever, you clown, all I know is I don't want you negotiating when it comes time to renew my contract....seems to me I can't afford that much compromise..."

The End

Monday Morning Mutterings: More religious hypocrisy...Missouri High School Bans 'Slaughterhouse Five'...

In a country that seems increasingly to be governed by the religiously insane, a high-school in the ultra-red state of Missouri has banned Kurt Vonnegut's 'Slaughterhouse Five' because "it's principles are contrary to that of the bible". Not surprisingly the zealots doing the banning don't see the blindingly obvious cononundrum that they are creating by banning one piece of fiction because it doesn't agree with another piece of fiction. Of course the bigger non-surprise is that none of these invisible sky-daddy worshippers see the similarity between what they are doing and what the Taliban did when they destroyed centuries-old statues of Buddha for basically the same fucking reason. Must be because those folks were brown-skinned and worshipped the wrong invisible sky-daddy...

Oy vey...

Have a great week y'all!

Friday Follies: The "there might be hope for us after all" edition...

In Washington D.C. a gaggle of Dumbasses are trying to figure out how to pass a bill that will save the Economic World (which reminds me of the most politically incorrect movie line ever spoken, "they look like a bunch of retards trying to hump a door-knob"). In the M$M the rhetoric has reached a new low of name-calling, white lies, and outright willful deceipt, and in Norway they are still trying to come to terms with the horrific attacks last week by a right-wing christian zealot. Not a helluvalot to smile about, right? And yet amongst all of that venal greed, vitriolic bile and violence there is a tiny ray of sunshine that humanity is not entirely fucked in the head.

At a baseball game in Arizona this week a young fan was fortunate enough to get a gameball from one of the players. Right as he was celebrating his new-found treasure with his friends he noticed another, younger fan, that was totally distraught that he hadn't been the lucky one to get the ball. What happens next makes even this cynical old bastard get misty-eyed.

I think that was one of the most selfless and generous things I have ever seen, especially from a 12 year-old. I hope both he and his parents are proud of his conduct. They taught him well. Now if you will excuse me I have to remove this speck of dirt from my eye that keeps making me tear up...

Have a great weekend you all!!!

So here's how messed up things are for Boner..(or what happens when you let the nutters loose in the asylum)

Now that the Weeper of the House, John Boehner (pronounced correctly by everyone except him as 'Boner') has had his fun blaming the Prez whilst continuing to spread right wing lies at his daily pressers, he thought he could pull the frying pan out of the fire just in time to proclaim victory to one and all. He thought he would be able to brag to his base that he'd saved the rich from having to pay a single nickel more in taxes, fucked the poor in the ass (again) AND saved the US economy all at the same time. Trouble is, all of a sudden he has discovered that the lunatic fringe in his party are sufficient in number that he can't do that. Why? Because they won't vote for his plan either.

Boner, it turns out, has severely over-played his hand and according to reports this morning on ABC's GMA even Cantor, his right-hand douchebag, can't control the nutjobs in his party anymore either. Both he and Boner have now got that panicked look of the guilty teenager that suddenly sees the flash of their parent's car headlights through the front-window, just as they are about to engage in a little soixante-neuf action with the girlfriend in the middle of the living-room floor. So here we are, on what we are told is the precipice of fiscal disaster, and the man who thought he was in control has all of a sudden found out he's not half as clever as he thought he was.

The question is, can anyone in that gaggle of corporate whores get the Teanderthals to toe the line, or will this fringe group of mentally unhinged imbeciles drive the US economy (and possibly the world's stock markets) right off the edge of a cliff...

We will soon found out...

Glenn Beck: A skidmark on the underwear of the human race.

I normally just gloss-over and ignore the rantings of this particular psychotic right-wing christo-fascist, but his comments regarding the recent Norwegian tragedy need to be addressed. In his radio-show (if by radio-show you mean fascist-jerk-off-session) he said that the camp that the 76 dead teenagers attended, murdered by someone that quite probably would have been an avid listener of his show, was "disturbingly like Hitler youth camps". Yup, this two-bit shyster and full-time shit-stain equated the camp where young Norwegian kids went to learn about democracy and how to get involved in the political process, as the same as the indoctrination of young children used by the nazi regime in the 1930's and 40's.

This is not the first-time that this mentally unhinged hate-monger has been forced to walk-back or apologize for some outlandish or outrageous comment his mouth has made, but this time I think an apology simply won't cut it. I don't think that slandering the victims of a murderous right-wing killer is something that can simply be walked-back or apologized for whilst emitting crocodile tears. Not this time. I am not a violent person by nature, or by philosophy, but I dare say that Beck should be made to apologize, in person, to every single parent that had their child taken away from them and if a parent (or two, or twenty) decide to extract a different sort of apology from him, well then, that would just be the way it goes.

I know one thing for an absolute certainty, if this had happened to me and it was my child he was referring to like this, Glenn Beck would need to leave the planet in order to be safe.