Not with a bang but a whimper...

As the RNC hate-fest slowly reaches it's 'crescendo' tonight with Mitten's acceptance speech, I can't help but feel just the tinsiest bit sorry for the old plastic, used-car-salesman lug-head and his party.They had very high hopes for their KKKonvention.  They had all of their "No really, we're not ALL woman-hating, race-baiting, homophobes" banners pre-printed, they were all ginned-up to get their hate on against the evil black man in the Whitehouse, and the christaliban religious nutjobs were gleefully squirming in their tidy-whities at the party platform that allow them to officially hate 'teh gays' and force rape-victims to go to term with their rape-babies - because you know, that's what God planned all along...

But then mother nature, or more precisely hurricane Isaac, decided to rain all over their parade.

Literally.

So instead of the televised orgy of hatred, bigotry and intolerance towards President Obama that they had so desperately desired, we got coverage of New Orleans getting drowned again (way to go Army Corps of Engineers - see Harry Shearer's excellent documentary 'The Big Uneasy' for a better explanation), and President Obama acting all Presidential by declaring a state of emergency and offering Federal assistance to all states that needed it.

You know, just like President Bush didn't.

The KKKonvention finally got under way a day late, but there was trouble from the very beginning. The Paul-bots immediately refused to play ball, the RNC wouldn't even say their messiah's name out loud during the nomination process, and some delegates threw some peanuts at a black CNN camera-women saying "that's how we feed the animals"...In other words, the truly classless cluster-fuck the Democrats have been secretly praying for since Mittens bought himself the nomination.

Oh sure, we had Queen Ann grace us peasants with her presence in a $2000 dress as she read her speech (badly) from the tele-prompter, a sin only if you're Democrat apparently, exalting working women everywhere as the backbone of America, even though she has no idea what that actually entails. Then we had New Jersey's Governor Chris 'Humpty-Dumpty' Christie who managed to talk about himself for seventeen minutes before remembering that he was there to nominate someone called 'Romney', and not try and persuade us that his states unemployment rate of 9.7% (fourth highest in the country) is somehow better than the overall US unemployment rate of 8.3%. (Quick note to any republicans reading this, it is probably not a good idea to trot out as the personification of the economic policies you'd like to enact across the country, a Governor who presides over a state that is 47th in the country in GDP growth, 44th in personal income growth and lost 12,0000 jobs just last month....)

In a desperate attempt to pull the fat from the fryer they had Todd Akin's number one fan, Mike Huckabee, throw some red meat to the assembled comatose crowd as he 'aw shucked' his way through his attacks on womens' rights, the chairwoman of the DNC and of course, 'teh gay'. Then, Paul Ryan, the guy the Koch's picked for Rmoney as his running mate, made his debut speech wearing his big-boy pants for the first time ever, but instead of the hoped-for home run, he instead managed to thoroughly soil himself on national television with a speech so full of mis-representations and outright, bald-face lies that even Fox "news" (yes, that Fox "news") had to distance themselves from him.

So that brings us to today. The day that Rmoney finally gets to put on his prom dress and parade in front of an adoring crowd as they crown him with his nomination. The day that launches him officially on his quest to kick that lying, muslim, socialist, Kenyan, marxist in the teeth, and finally put the 'white' back in the Whitehouse. Only no-one really seems to give a shit about any of that. Instead of the pundits wondering what his speech will contain, what vast sweeping vision or policies he might outline, or whether he will manage to pull off the upset of the century and actually appear to be a real human being, they are all consumed with who the 'mystery speaker' will be that's on the schedule. Not the fact that this will be his first national speech, not the fact that he will be the official republican nominee, nope, the presstitutes are more interested in a 'mystery speaker' than the guy the gop has picked to go up against the President.

I don't know about you, but that's gotta suck, even for a soul-less automaton like Wall Street Willard, kinda like going to pick up your prom-date but instead of being ready to go when you get there, she's sitting on the couch with a bunch of her girlfriends watching Jersey Shore eating Cheeto's and scratching her butt...

So as this sorry-ass excuse for a National Convention winds down, like a sit-com that got renewed for one season too many, I sit here and can't help but feel a little bit of pity for them. I know what it's like to be disappointed, I'm a progressive liberal afterall, but for a party that prides itself on unanimity  and strict 'message discipline' this election campaign has been an utter disaster from the primaries up through the KKKonvention.

But then I remember what they say they stand for, and who they really represent (hint - it ain't anyone making less than six figures, gay, of colour or female) and that tiny bit of pity disappears and instead becomes a great big grin. These miserable, bitter, angry, nasty, selfish, bigoted assholes have finally reaped what they've sown. And I kinda like that.

Fuck 'em all.

Cheers!!!

Welcome to another episode of "As the GOP implodes.."

"...brought to you by, Bain Capital, outsourcing American jobs for three decades, Bain Capital, No Bain - No Pain.."

*Fade in to the wretched, tear-stained wrinkly face of Todd Akin staring bleakly into a mirror*

TA: "I don't understand why they hate me so.."
Mirror: "Maybe because you're a soul-less, ignorant fucktard?"
TA: "But I apologized and everything!"
Mirror: "Yes, but they can smell bullshit a mile away, besides saying 'I used the wrong words' doesn't absolve you of the fact that you are a soul-less, ignorant fucktard."
TA: "But the VP pick agrees with me...he co-sponsored legislation that changed the definition of rape only just last year!"
Mirror: "Yes, well, he's got his own problems to deal with, that legislation you both voted on would have banned IV fertilization, the method his future boss used to get his wife pregnant with three of their five children. So he's going to throw your ignorant, soul-less fucktard ass under the bus all day long...plus he has a math problem...he forgot that he asked for $20 mill from the Govt stimulus he railed against, he forgot that his wife had a trust with $5 million in it, and let's no forget he's a "devout catholic" that worships a chain-smoking atheist that espouses the "fuck you jack, I've got mine" approach to civic duty...so yeah, he's not going to come to your defense anytime soon.."
TA: "But how come everyone on Fox News hates me too? They work for us, right? Someone needs to remind them of that fact.."
Mirror: "Sure, everyone knows they're our mouthpiece, that's less of a secret than fat people like to eat, but you can't just piss off 50 percent of their viewers and expect them to still want to spoon with you at night..."
TA: "But I'm not the only one that thinks this way, the party platform says that even if women get pregnant by rape or incest they shouldn't be able to get an abortion."
Mirror: "Look Todd, just because you belong to a political group that actively hates 50 percent of the population, doesn't mean they or you are right, hell even the self-loathing log-cabin guys are up in arms about your platform."
TA: "Yeah, but who gives a shit about those fairies? They still haven't figured out that their entire existence is a contradiction in terms...What is it about "We hate your fairy asses so much that if we could, we'd stone you all to death in a public square every sunday before going to church" don't that understand? Shoot, they make about as much sense as a chicken voting for Col. Sanders."
Mirror: "Yeah Todd, let's not go there shall we? I'd have thought that you guys have heard enough talk about gay folk and fried chicken to last a lifetime.."
TA: "You're making me hungry."
Mirror: "Todd, pay attention, you have a real problem on your hands, everyone, including your own party, wants you to get out of the race."
TA: "Fuck them, I'll appeal to my base, they'll still vote for me!"
Mirror: "Yeah, Todd, you've got the 'angry, stupid old white-guy' vote wrapped up...what about the other 80 percent of the population?"
TA: "Did you forget we live in Missouri?"
Mirror: "Oh yeah, silly me...fuck it, stay in...you'll be a shoo-in!"

John McCain vouches for Mittens (sort of)

In my most recent post I had suggested that it was more than a little strange that John McCain, the guy that actually has seen Mitten's tax returns, hadn't said anything in defense of the guy that came in second to Alaska Spice in the 2008 republican Veepstakes (think about what THAT says about Rmoney for just a moment). Well now, Senator McCain has corrected that and come out with a statement saying, in essence, not much, really. Oh, the words sound like a solid vouch for the not-yet-confirmed republican nominee, but when you re-read the actual words, they don't say what he wants you to think they say. "Nothing in his tax returns showed that he did not pay taxes". Senator McCain's statement is very carefully parsed indeed. You see, everyone pays some taxes, property taxes, sales taxes etc etc, but not all of us pay Federal and State taxes, especially those of us that are very, very rich and have a cadre of lawyers and accountants to ensure that fact.

I would, however, like to thank Sen. McCain for bringing the tax return issue to the front-burner again, especially after the M$M spent the entire past weekend fawning over Mittens pick for V.P., a former social-security recipient that wants to demolish the very same safety net that he so handsomely benefited from in his formative years. (More on that would-be granny-killing hypocrite later). But what Senator McCain's bluster and baloney still doesn't answer is the one, most obvious question of all: If Mitten's tax returns are perfectly legitimate, and they show that he did pay taxes and by default that Harry Reid is completely and utterly full of shit, why doesn't he just release them and PROVE IT?

I find it hard to believe that a republican would eschew the opportunity to knock a Democratic politician's dick in the dirt, especially someone like the Senate majority leader. As mendacious as Rmoney is, a man who has shown he is not beneath approving campaign commercials that are entirely truth-free, I cannot believe that he continues to endure the battering that his secrecy is causing, when the alternative would be the modern-day equivalent of having photographic evidence of your opponent being found in bed with a live boy or a dead girl.

It just doesn't add up. Unless there's something so naughty in those returns he has to keep them secret or risk losing much more than just a general election.

Stay tuned kiddies...this is far from over...

I'm beginning to think Mittens doesn't have a 'tax problem'' at all...

...I think he has a 'crime problem'...

When even the festering cesspool of lies and mis-direction laughingly calling itself Fox "news" has Obama beating Rmoney by 49 - 40 in their most recent poll data, you get the sense that the as yet not-nominated republican candidate, is in some pretty deep shit.

He is being taken to task about the outright lies in his campaign commercials, but this time these criticisms have come from traditionally republican-supportive media outlets, and NOT the so-called 'liberal media'. His campaign has already pulled out the "war on religion" card in some markets, which is traditionally used to motivate the bible-thumping base just before the election not typically used before the party convention, and he steadfastly refuses to come clean about his tax returns.

Willard 'Mitt' Rmoney may be many things but stupid isn't one of them. He must surely know how this continued stone-walling is causing his campaign to rapidly take on water, so why not release them and face the music?

George Will, a conservative commentator no less, made his once-a-campaign salient point recently, that Rmoney as a businessman is used to looking at risk v. reward all the time, and has obviously done the calculations regarding his tax returns and concluded that NOT releasing them will cause his campaign LESS damage than releasing them would. Everyone immediately started to try and guess as to what could be so toxic in those returns that his campaign would be better off taking the hammering that it has, rather than just throw the raw meat to the baying hounds and let them have at it for a few days. Surely it can't be as simple as the fact that he just paid alot less in taxes than everyone else, can it?

Look, he's a rich guy that likes to pay minimal taxes, we get that, that's the game the rich have always played, so sure, if he releases them and it shows that he paid an effective tax-rate of 0.00% for the past ten years he'll take a hit, but he'll use that as a badge of honour amongst his supporters. He'll use that as an excuse to say that the tax-code needs to be revamped, and that everyone should pay lower taxes and that's why he's running for office. He would actually be able to turn it into a positive for his campaign.

Unless, of course, his effective tax-rate isn't the only issue.

I know enough about the tax code and the IRS to not fuck with either, and I take my yearly fleecing with as much good grace as possible, but when you're rich you can hire lawyers and accountants whose sole function is to do precisely that. Their job is to fuck with the tax code and the IRS as far as possible, without winding up with their clients wearing silver bracelets and getting a one-way ticket to Club Fed. This is how the rich keep their money, by classifying regular income as 'passive investment returns' or 'dividend reinvestments' or 'refunded asset depreciation allocations' or any number of other gobbledygook sleight-of-hand card tricks, but ALL of them have one thing in common. They are all at least vaguely legal. Which leads me to believe that Willard isn't worried about fallout from paying less taxes than most folks that hold down two minimum-wage jobs nowadays, or the fact that he used offshore banks to hide some of his money, I think he's worried that his accountants have done such shady stuff over the last ten years that if the IRS took a real hard look at them, never mind losing the election, he could wind up losing his freedom...

And one last thing to ponder, of all of the people that are calling the Democratic Senate Leader Harry Reid a 'dirty liar', or that his comments asserting that Rmoney hasn't paid any taxes in the last ten years "belittle his position in the Senate", bear in mind that none of them are speaking from a position of authority. None of them have actually seen the returns. The one person that HAS seen those returns, Senator John McCain when he vetted Mittens for a potential VP slot in 2008, hasn't said a single word about whether Harry is telling the truth or not. And in this case, that silence definitely speaks volumes.

Stay tuned kids...this could get mighty interesting...