So long 2010!! Thanks for (just about) fuck all....

At this time of year it's customary for self-important bastards and dedicated narcissists alike (also known as bloggers) to look back and reflect upon the important shit that happened during the prior twelve months and offer their pithy and humourous commentary about how it impacted them personally. You know, like anybody actually gives a flying fuck what all of these self-absorbed wankers think about anything at all (and judging by the fact that I have been doing this for over a year now and have an audience of about 5 people total,  it's become blindingly obvious that just about nobody on the planet gives a flying toss about what I have to say about a goddamned thing).

So, with that in mind, and far be it from me to rock that boat, here is my look back on 2010.

Some bad shit happened (fires, floods, earthquakes, landslides, riots etc but nowhere that impacted white people too much so no-one really gave a shit). Then some REALLY bad shit happened as well (in the US republicans took control of the House of Representatives, whilst in the UK Nick Clegg sold his soul for a seat at the kiddies table in the new conservative governement - Grade A wanker that he is). Some truly awful things happened too (the Chicago Cubs traded Ryan Theriot and Derek Lee for what amounted to a handful of beans. And no, they weren't magic beans. They didn't even make you fart, that would have at least been funny).

In entertainment news some massively over-paid famous people died, some of them got married, most of them got divorced and Mel Gibson got drunk, abusive and arrested. That last one isn't really news, I know, but like Charlie Sheen's life you just can't help but look can you? Oh, that reminds me, is Lindsay Lohan in, or out of rehab? I just can't keep up. Oh to be young, rich, and stacked. Apparently that gets you a rotating door at the LA County jail instead of the 24 hour lockdown you would get if you didn't have an agent, a high-priced lawyer, the ability to suck a golf ball through a garden hose, or big, firm, tanned tits. But I digress.

In the world of sport a few teams won, every other team didn't, and come 2011 no-one will remember either way (the only exception being the famous Ashes victory over the convicts on their own soil for the first time in 24 years by the England cricket team. THAT result will live forever..Suck it losers!!!!!)

In the world of politics, well, you know what happened, read the rest of this blog if you don't and stop being such lazy gits, I'm not going to spoon-feed you a year's worth of my political rants in one offering.

On a personal note my long-suffering wife still hasn't divorced me (thank you honey, if you left I still wouldn't be able to do my own laundry and the dog would never get walked), my kid still thinks I'm a great dad, although closer to the truth is she's the best kid a parent could ever ask for and I just got damned lucky.

But the single most significant (and potentially devastating) piece of news in 2010 is that Justin Fucking Beiber got nominated for two Grammy awards. Can you believe it? I mean really, who is shitting whom? The little bastard isn't old enough to vote and he already has more money than I will make in ten lifetimes, he looks like a smug little git, (I swear I want to slap that smirk right off his face) and now the Grammys have validated his god-awful dross by nominating him for two awards.

As a culture, we are totally fucked.

Happy New Year all!!!

...And now, over to the sportsdesk...

Says it all really....I feel really badly for the Austr....oh who am I kidding? No I don't, we kicked your arses by an innings and 157 runs to retain the Ashes!! I feel as sorry for you lot as you did for us four years ago...

ENGLAND CRICKET RULES!!!!!

And now back to the newsdesk...

Who let the dogs out..or why Obama can't seem to stop shooting himself in the foot...

After a mad dash across the finish line for the Lame-Duck Congress, President Obama managed to pass some legislation that wasn't actually part of the GOP's grand scheme of permanently screwing over the poor. He passed DADT repeal that will finally allow openly gay Americans to serve their country in uniform, and he agreed to rollback restrictive Wilderness legislation put in place by his predecessor that will allow for the protection of millions of acres of wilderness that now won't get stained with the taint of 'Big Oil'.

All good in the 'hood, right? Well, no. Not exactly.

Apparently unable to go a week without pissing off one section of his base or another (this week it's the animal-lovers that get the shaft), the President got on the phone and congratulated the multi-millionaire owner of the NFL Philadelphia Eagles for giving another multi-millionaire a second chance to make shitloads of money after he got out of the joint. Ordinarily Liberals and Progressives are all about the 'rehabilitation' concept. We are normally all 'compassion' and 'redemption' when it comes to crimes and how you ought to treat non-hardened criminals after they've done their time. But in this case Obama has unwittingly stuck both feet in the brown-and-smelly and really fired up a shit-storm of outrage on the interwebs.

For those of you that don't know what I am on about I am of course talking about convicted felon, and NFL quarterback, Michael Vick. He plead guilty to a series of felonies a few years ago, said he was sorry (without specifying what he was actually sorry for, his crimes or the fact that he got caught) put on his orange jumpsuit and then went to the Big House to did his time. Now fast-forward a few years and, after the NFL rescinded their farcical "ban" on him (with his stats there was no way wasn't going to be allowed back) he's now the starting QB for the red-hot Philadelphia Eagles.

But here's where it gets problematic for Obama. This wasn't your typical crime. This wasn't a case of some guy that got pinched for doing something stupid or rash. This wasn't a case of a guy being thrown in the slammer for too many unpaid parking tickets. This is a case where "he paid his debt to society" does not apply. Not even remotely. Michael Vick was a key part of a vicious, cruel and inhumane dog-fighting ring, and he was personally responsible for the deaths of at least seven of his dogs either by drowning or strangulation. I won't show you the "after" pictures of his dogs because they are revolting, and unbelievably upsetting, but suffice it to say that they are enough to move many a peace-loving liberal to suggest that the only way that Michael Vick will have truly "paid his debt" is when he steps into a cage full of those very same dogs wearing nothing more than a suit made of bacon.

I am one of those liberals.

Michael Vick is a superbly gifted athlete no doubt, and in this culture that means he's pretty much forgiven if he shows enough 'remorse' and his crime wasn't murder or being gay, but I still can't square the circle enough to get past the vicious evil this man was a part of purely for his profit and pleasure... The bigger shame is that the President apparently didn't see that as a problem either.

Salad bars are the newest target for terrorists...only 6 Americans are threatened...

This is quite possibly the most stupid thing I have read in, well, probably at least the last 24 hours.

Apparently the same goat-fucking rocket scientists that brought you the shoe-bomber (sans lighter), the underpants bomber (again sans ignition device) and the printer cartridge "bombs" that weren't actually, you know, explosive, have figured out that the next way to strike fear into the hearts of the infidels is to poison the salad bars in restaurants across the United States. These guys apparently think that the television shows exported from the US are truly representative of the overall American population. You know, where everyone is slim, massively in shape, never smoke and, apparently, no-one ever has to go to the toilet.

Of course, nothing could be further from the truth. In reality we're all a bunch of meat-eating, carbohydrate-consuming lard arses over here and the closest we ever get to a fucking salad is if there is a piece of lettuce on the bacon double-cheese burgers we are stuffing down our gullets. So it would appear that the stupid arab git that has been causing all of this ruckus, Al Kider, has completely missed the mark with this latest strategy. Boy, I bet he feels stupid.

And I thought the republicans were uptight arseholes....or, this will REALLY start riots...

..in a desperate move to appear relavent in the crazy world of right-wing dumb-fuckery, it appears that one of the brain-dead Hooray Henrys employed by Great Britain's newest Prime Minister, David Camerwrong, has decided that it would be a jolly good idea to outlaw online porn.

Yup, online porn.

Not fixing massive unemployement, or reinvigorating the non-existent manufacturing base, or dealing with the spiralling debt problems, or the students rioting in the streets because they don't think that a 300% increase in tuition fees is fair or reasonable. Nope. The most important thing this guy can think of is how to stop people from looking at porn by making them ask their ISP's for it. "Please sir, can I have some porn?"

This is what happens when you put idiots in positions of power.

Look, this doesn't stand a snowballs chance in hell of ever coming to fruition (and yes I know I just wrote 'balls' and 'coming' in the same sentence please keep your dirty thoughts to yourselves) but the fact that some do-gooder on the Uptight-Right thought this was even okay to say out loud should be alarming. I know that the UK had a really rough go of it with the last bunch of power-grabbing authoritarian nanny-state wankers in Westminster Palace, but if you try and take away people's porn there really WILL be rioting in the streets...I can already see the signs  "Keep your hands off my junk", "Fair play to all wankers", "Come one, come all".....On second thoughts...that could be quite a giggle...

To paraphrase Charlton Heston, "You can have my porn when you pry it from my cold, dead, sticky hands"...

A last minute tricky-quicky from the "you just can't make this shit up" department...

...in between bouts of uncontrollable sobbing the incoming Weeper of the House, John Boner, has managed to appoint Michele Bachmann to the House Intelligence committee, thereby unwittingly giving political comedians a self-written punchline for the next two years...

Senator John Cornyn is a lying bastard...in other news, water is wet.

I know that the title of this piece is a bit of a giveaway, but on the day that President "Nope, no Change" signs away our children's and grandchildren's financial futures for a few beanstalk beans, I thought it would be useful to point out (again) the rank hypocrisy being demonstrated by the party of "small government" and "fiscal conservatism".

Take for example, Senator John Cornyn. He is one of the very biggest liars and hypocrites in a party absolutely stuffed to the gills with them. As this bloated behemoth of free giveaways to the extremely wealthy known as the Omnibus Spending Bill works it's way through the sausage-making machine in D.C. some republicans saw it as an opportunity to have their cake and eat it too. They figured they would be able to load as much pork onto the bill as possible, and then vote against it, safe in the knowledge that the bill would pass without their vote anyway. Why? Because if it didn't, the core constituents of the Democratic base would have their taxes go up on January 1st and that would not be a good idea, even if it meant the rich got to pay a little bit more too. So what does this silver-haired skidmark do? On one hand he sends out e-mails lambasting the Democrats for wasteful earmark spending whilst on the other hand he makes sure to put in for $18 million of them for himself. So far, so good. Next step in the rethuglican playbook is to hold a press conference and slam the Democrats for over-spending in a lame-duck session. The only problem is the usually placid and compliant M$M momentarily forgot who their masters were and actually called them out on it. 

Just for once the hypocrites were called out for their blatant lies. For one glorious moment the presstitutes started to ask the questions that made the rethuglicans feel uncomfortable. The hypocritical bastards actually looked surprised. They thought this was going to be a normal run-of-the-mill presser where the lapdogs lobbed nothing but softballs for them to swing at, and then everyone would leave happy knowing that they had all played their part. Instead they were shamed into looking like the bought and paid for whores that they are. They were hoisted on their own petards of avarice and greed. Well maybe not that last bit, but dammit, for one brief moment things actually made a little more sense.

And what were the networks covering this week? Yup, you guessed it,  Ryan Reynolds break-up with Scarlett Johansson.

You know. The important shit.

Why is John Boner always crying...??

Seriously, I think this dude is messed up in the head. The soon-to-be Speaker of the House was on 60 minutes last night for an interview (if by 'interview' you mean brazen and unapologetic fluffing by a willing and eager member of the M$M) and seemed to spend most of the time sobbing like a six-year old girl that had just seen her brand-new puppy get run over by Santa Claus's sleigh. Twice.

Now understand, I am not talking about getting a little choked up, maybe a solitary tear slowly rolling its' way down one of his bright orange cheeks as he recalled some touching moment in his past, or an emotional rememberance of some past elder that he held dear. Nope, Boner was in full-on melt down like someone had just slammed his fingers in the car-door, kicked him in the bollocks, and told him it wasn't going to stop until he said uncle.

Being a bit of a bastard I actually thought it was hysterical. The stupid orange bugger looked like a total wuss, and in this day and age of far-right-wing republican women telling any man that displays the remotest sign of vulnerablity (or humanity for that matter) that they need to "man up", I think that Boner is in for a rough ride if he keeps this up. Of course any amusement I experienced from this display of borderline mental disease (it's either that or he has a shitload of suppressed emotional stuff he needs to deal with) was inevitably tempered by the fact that all it really showed was the blatant and rank hypocrisy of the whores in the complicit M$M.

Let's be honest, if the former speaker, Nancy Pelosi, a person with more courage and balls in her purse than her Oompa-Loompa-looking successor could ever possibly dream of, had ever acted that way in public, the presstitutes and right-wing attack dogs would have been all over her. They would have accused her of being 'mentally unstable', or 'an overly emotional woman', or 'unable to stand the challenges of her position'. Never mind that, can you imagine the uproar if President Obama acted this way? Over at Fake News you would be able to hear heads exploding.  And yet when the chain-smoking, booze-hound from Ohio goes on national telly and sobs like a lost child he is called 'authentic' and 'one-of us'.

Really? It's enough to make you want to cry.

Caribou Barbie gets it all wrong....again...

So apparentely in revenge for the anti-WikiLeaks musings the Quitta from Wasilla has been spouting on her FB page, a group of anonymous hackers decided to fuck with her political action committee website (if by political action commitee you mean "legal method to personally enrich herself at the expense of morons that think she's presidential material") and shut it down with a D.O.S. attack.

This so incensed Mrs 'It's all about me" Palin that she had to quip thusly on her FB page "This is what happens when you exercise the First Amendment and speak against his (Julian Assange) sick, un-American espionage efforts". Okay, a couple of things. One, Sarah Palin doesn't know what espionage is, never mind know how to spell it correctly without the aid of spellcheck, and secondly, of course he's un-American you stupid, stupid woman...he's AUSTRALIAN.

I don't know which is more frightening, that this half-baked walking bag of stupid thinks she is presidential material, or the fact that there are other people in the US that think the same thing.

You just cannot make this shit up...or, why Morpheus was right...

..."irony, it seems, is not without a sense of humour"...

Case in point...(And no, it's not from The Onion).

After succesfully hounding Wikileaks from being hosted on various servers around the globe, including Amazon.com, and effectively choking off it's funding, Paypal and now Visa will not process payments or donations to the site, the US will be hosting "World Press Freedom Day in 2011".

Irony much?

December 7th, a day that will forever live in infamy...and no, this has nothing to do with Pearl Harbour..

Today marks the 69th anniversary of one of history's biggest military blind-sides, when the Japanese attacked the US Navy at Pearl Harbour and kicked off the Pacific Theatre portion of dubya dubya two. Alot of brave men and women died that day and this post is meant in no way as an insult to their sacrifice. In fact, I am using it as a clarion call to anyone (and it probably is only 'one') that reads this to pay attention to what is going on in this country, and to gird their loins for the upcoming conflict.

Today, December 7th 2010, President Obama made it official, he becamse the greatest republican president of the new century. He accepted the deal (if by 'deal' you mean steaming pile of rancid horseshit) offered by the republicans regarding their platform promise of 'Leave No Millionaire Behind'. Obama has once again proven his willingness to unilaterally fuck over the stupid motherfuckers that thought that he really meant what he said on the campaign trail. 'Hope' and 'Change' apparently only apply when the President is speechifying, and do not actually come into play when dealing with any real policy decisions. I, along with tens of millions of other voters in America, didn't see the asterisk that must have been on the campaign banners. We didn't read the small print disclaimers in the campaign brochures that apparently stated 'Actual hope and change may differ once elected'.

So here we are trying to digest the news that the republicans in congress got absolutely everything their greedy, blackened hearts desired, PLUS concessions on the estate tax which, although they affect less then one tenth of one percent of the total population, have been so successfully marketed by the gop and their whores in the M$M as the "death tax" that the President apparently caved, well,  just because. All we're left with on the left is the minor concession from the Millionaires Club (aka the House of Representatives) that the unemployed get their benefits extended for 13-months. Got that? Tax breaks for everybody (but most importantly the jet-set) extended for 2 years PLUS give backs on the estate tax, PLUS a holiday on payroll tax, but the unemployed get only 13 months of relief, and if you've been unemployed for 99+ weeks already, well that's just too fucking bad, you get a nice big helping of sweet fuck-all.

Calling him a republican isn't a case of irrational hyperbole, it isn't a case of a screaming liberal like myself going ever-so slightly mental because I didn't get my fucking pony, or because Obama didn't send the entire gop to re-education camps as soon as he was sworn into office. No, this is the plain god-awful truth.

Don't believe me? Look at the facts.

Since being inaugurated he has: failed to close Gitmo, allowed the spying on US citizens to continue unabated(he apparently missed the fourth amendment class at Harvard whilst becoming a 'constitutional scholar'), given a multi-billion dollar gift to the health care industry and insurers and called it 'health care reform', extended the scheduled 2011 exit date from Afghanisnam to 2014 at the earliest (and somehow still managed to win the Nobel Peace Prize in the process, fuck knows how), he has declared that the President has the authority to execute American citizens abroad without due process, he has defended the previous adminstrations use of torture by failing to investigate or prosecute the offenders and now he has validated the bush tax cuts, and in the process fucked the terminally unemployed.

I know of no real Democrat that would ever, EVER, think that any of those actions were acceptable in any manner, shape or form, and yet when he was ushered into office with a massive majority in both chambers of congress, and an absolute mandate from the people to change course from the previous policies of division, he barely changed a thing. Oh sure, the press conferences now feature complete sentences, and when the President says he reads alot of books no-one sniggers and asks if they have lots of pictures, but when it comes to actual change, you know, doing things differently than before, well that just hasn't fucking happened. And judging by today's latest capitulation it isn't likely to happen anytime soon.

With this guy in office and a republican majority in the House the next two years could be very, very rough indeed.

Obama caves (again)..and the rethuglicans just keep on laughing...

So it appears that the Prez has caved on the rethuglican "leave no millionaire behind" tax-break plan. The gop's base get what they want (shitloads of money) and in return the peasants can have a little relief too (unemployment benefits extended for another year). The fact that this adds close to $1,000,000,000,000 onto the deficit's bottom line doesn't appear to phase the "deficit hawks" and "small government" tea-party asswipes just elected to congress one bit. Not in the slightest.

So as Democrats get yet another punch in the gut from the gloating fuckers on the right as the Capitulator in Chief rope-a-dopes his way out of another fight, all that is left is to try and get their heads around the reality of the situation. Someone, somewhere in the West Wing decided that the rich getting their money, the poor getting their alms and all of us getting to talk about this all over again in 2012 is a good deal.

On what kind of messed up planet does this sort of logic make a winning strategy?

In order for the poor to get their stale bread crusts the rich are given more caviar.

All of the talk of 'fiscal conservativism' turns out to be complete bullshit(there's a fucking surprise!)

And just in time for the 2012 Presidential election we get to have the same "Democrats want to raise your taxes" meme shoved down our throats by the gop and their enablers in the M$M. Kicking this shit-covered can down the road another couple of years is the thing that must have the Millionaires Club (Congress) the most giddy because it's a win-win for them. If the economy is still in the shitter in 2012 it's because the Prez is an economic dunce by allowing the deficit to continue to grow, and if it improves it's because tax-gifts to the wealthy really ARE good afterall...

Why not go on national teevee and say it like it is..the gop want the rich to keep more money and they are willing to fuck everyone else over in order to make that happen...Use small words so that the teahadists understand it as well..or is it only rethuglicans that get to use the bully pulpit...??

For a guy that got his job with pretty speechifying and verbal persuasionism he sure seems tongue-tied when it comes to actually doing something hard..

Obama looks to remove protections for Gray Wolf and Grizzly Bears...or why "Change" was complete and utter horseshit...

Look, let me just start this by stating quite clearly that I expect to get fucked when the republicans are in office (see: G. Bush the Lesser 2000-2008). What I don't expect is to get fucked just as hard when the Democrats are in control. I don't make anything resembling enough money annually, or have a net worth in remotely the right strata of the atmosphere to actually count for anything as far as the republican party is concerned. So subsequently when the shit started rolling downhill (as it inevitably does whenever the Angry White Rich-Guy party gets hold of the reins and did so with avengeance in 2000) I just hunkered down and tried to weather the storm. As I sat there in my wellies praying that the flood of polished turds would stop before it reached the top of my boots, I scanned the horizon for some glimmer of hope. Some sign, however small, that the maelstrom of bullshit, hatred and bile would end one day. In 2008 Barack Obama was that sign. His speeches were uplifting, his rhetoric was bold, and his passion was immeasurable. 'Hope' and 'Change' was in the air. It felt as though the rancid stench of right-wing policies solely designed to enrich the already wealthy was going to be washed out of the body politic, and once more 'We The People' would be heard loud and clear. We would get our country back from the monied interest groups and lobbyists, we would begin the process of re-building the country they way it was intended to be, 'of the people, by the people, for the people'.

Then he got elected.

And guess what? Nothing changed. Not really. Oh, he got a health care bill passed (if by health care bill you mean 'Gift to the insurers and health care providers that lined the politicians pockets'), and he did pull the troops out of Iraq (if by pull out you mean 'still leave a military presence of 100,000 behind'), but as time passed it became more and more obvious that the campaign rhetoric wasn't matching up with what was actually being done.

His justice department didn't stop the DEA raids on (legal) marijuna clinics in California. His justice department didn't look into the allegations that the CIA had destroyed evidence of torture. His justice department wouldn't look into whether the former administration had broken international law by either engaging in, or allowing the facilitation of torture. He approved (and then rapidly unapproved after BP's little oopsie in the Gulf) more off-shore drilling. He actively advocated for 'clean coal' (whatever the fuck that mythical substance is) and more nuclear power plants. The only mercy there being that he actually said the word 'nuclear' correctly. His interior department refused to overturn the bush administration ruling removing protections for the Rocky Mountain Gray Wolf and the states of Montana, and Idaho promptly rushed out and started slaughtering the Wolves in their hundreds.

Earlier this year several environmental groups (several of which I am a proud contributing member of) won a major court victory forcing the Gray Wolf back onto the Endangered Species List, and instructed US Fish and Wildlife to base their listing/delisting on proper scientific evidence rather than policy decisions.

Way to go wolves, right? Wrong. It turns out that for some unfathomable reason the Obama adminstration wants to delist both the wolves AND grizzlies so badly, that they are willing to try and do an end-run around the Endangered Species Act via congress, to get their way. So, rather than accept the courts' decision, and allow proper scientific data to be gathered and studied to determine what the appropriate wolf levels are to be deemed as 'recovered', the Obama administration has decided that the ranchers and land-owners in those western states know better and that they should be allowed to kill as many wolves and bears as possible.

I have been able to make excuses and rationalizations for many of the actions (and cynical inactions) of this administration, but for me, this is the end of the line. This is where I get off the Obama express. This is where I declare that I have had enough. Yes he is better than the alternative, if only for the fact that it kept that self-promoting ex-beauty-pageant contestant from being a heart-beat away from the nuclear launch codes, but being the 'least bad' is no longer good enough. Not when we have such urgent issues to deal with. 'Change' isn't carrying on with the same policies that were already in place. 'Change" isn't doing everything the opposition party wants and ignoring your base. 'Change' isn't bobbing and weaving when asked straight forward questions on things like gay marriage, DADT or choice. It is with much sadness and more than a little anger, that I admit that I got sold a bill of goods. I really thought this guy was going to be different, I really did. Turns out he wasn't, and we are ALL the worse off because of it.

Mr President, please don't kill the wolves.

So much for change...or why I have finally had it with President No-Bama..

Read this link and then tell me who is worse, the torturers or those that cover up the torture.

I am disgusted.

Nothing funny, pithy or amusing about this post.

"Change" my ass.

Republicans are people too...mean, selfish, greedy people...

As unemployment benefits run out today for close to 2 million people in the United States (also commented on here) and nary a vote in sight to restore them, the Angry White Rich-Guy Party is hard at work making sure the poor just keep on getting fucked.

Not satisfied with emptying the Treasury Dept directly into the coffers of the very same banks that steered the economy to the edge of the precipice, the rethuglicans now want to make sure that any money they might have left behind stays in the pockets of the rich, and the poor can just go fuck themselves. That's right. If you are unemployed and haven't been able to find a job in the last two years, you are well and truly screwed as of December 1, 2010.

You see, these miserly fucking bastards have said they will not even contemplate extending the benefits because it will add another $18 billion onto the deficit, unless something else gets cut to pay for it. If not, well, let the peasants eat cake.

Now to a "fiscal conservative" (also known as "tight-fisted fuckwad") as many of the self-righteous millionaires in Congress like to call themselves, this may seem quite reasonable, but it all starts to come apart at the seams when the topic turns to extending tax breaks for themselves. Thats when these "fiscal conservatives" get all kinds of giddy with indignant rage. You see, the soon-to-expire tax-gifts to the wealthy would add $700 billion to the deficit, but the rethuglicans say that doesn't really matter, they are SO vitally important to the overall health of the economy that they need to be continued no matter the expense.

Got that? $18 billion to help two million Americans = BAD. $700 Billion to the rich = GOOD.

One Democrat has had enough and is speaking out about it. Nancy Pelosi has called the reptiles out on their blindingly obvious hypocrisy and stated in plain English just exactly how fucked in the head these greedy bastards are.

Think it'll do any good?

Me neither.

Severe Irish austerity measures released..or another example of how the working class just keeps on getting screwed..

In response to the dire financial situation the Irish Government finds itself in due to poor fiscal policy and the actions of  fraudulent banksters, a new budget was outlined that had some of the most severe cuts in them ever imaginable. Severe cuts that is, to the working class and the poor. Things like a decrease in minimum wage. An increase in the VAT. An increase in student fees (the new govt in the UK has suggested that idea too, the students there aren't quite done yet expressing their feelings apparently). The loss of almost 25,000 public jobs. Pension reductions. You know, basically shredding the public safety net.

What about the rich corporations you ask? The people that caused this whole fucking mess in the first place? The new 'austerity measures' make sure that the corporate tax rates stay the same. Wouldn't want to scare away jobs by taxing the job-creators, right?

My arse.

This is the first of many 'austerity measures' that will be suggested by many other governments in the not too distant future that will have one purpose, and one purpose only; to lay off the massive debt caused by corporate fiscal malfeasance onto the shoulders of the working class. In America, 'We The People' have been saddled with TRILLIONS of dollars of debt (the real number still hasn't been figured out, or if it has been it hasn't been released) to bail out the banks that drove the US economy to the verge of collapse through theft and fraud. Make no mistake, what the banks did in the US were real, proper crimes, but instead of perp-walking their multi-million dollar a year CEO's straight to jail, the public was sold a bill of goods by the bank-owned whores in D.C. who artfully managed to stiff the US taxpayer with the bill for the clean-up. That in turn drove up the deficit, and the bank-owned whores in D.C. now say that in order to pay that down so that the US remains credit-worthy (because China is becoming less and less eager to buy our debt when we're paying them less than 1% in interest) we have to make budget cuts. Public education, transportation, Medicare, Social Security are all on the chopping block to be cut in order to reduce the deficit.  What isn't being considered (other than the staggeringly bloated defense budget, that will never, EVER be cut)?  Increasing taxes on the bastards that got us into this mess in the first place. Wouldn't want to scare away jobs by taxing the job creators, right?

My arse.

It all comes down to the age-old  truism 'He who makes the gold, makes the rules'.

That has never been more true than now.

Happy Thanksgiving indeed....

Breaking News!!! Bristol Palin snubbed by Dancing with Stars voters!!!...oh, and war's about to break out in South Korea too...

...Good thing that the M$M media in the US has their priorities right. This week the corporate news has been choc-a-block full of conspiracy theories, and counter-conspiracies about how in the world the eldest Palin spawn made it to the finals of 'Dancing with People We No Longer Give a Shit About'. Accusations have been raised that knuckle-dragging supporters of her wolf-killing mother have been busy jamming the interwebs with votes for Bristol. The blogosphere lit up too, full of folks that are miffed that the "integrity" of the show has been ruined (integrity? really?) and that they will forever eschew themselves of the pleasure of watching has-beens try to bump and grind their way out of obscurity if she were to win. All this because of a 'reality' show (if by reality you mean my version of a living hell) that invited this talent-free un-wed mother to be on their show.

Now, I've been accused of being a bit of a cynic in the past, but I think you'd have to be incredibly naive to think that she was invited to be on the competition because she was a good dancer. She isn't. Not really. Not when it could be reasonably said that she had all the style and grace of a Clydesdale in spandex. No, the only reason she was invited on was because her pig-ignorant mother gets ratings. The Half-Term ex-Governor of Alaska is despised and reviled as fervently as she is worshipped by her minions, and all that passion means more eyeballs on the telly, higher ratings for the network, and more money for the corporation that put this whole charade together in the first place. It's almost like the network planned it that way...

Naaah....couldn't be that simple could it?

Oh, and in other news North Korea lobbed some shells into South Korea, the US is sending an aircraft carrier task force to the region in support and the South Korean Premiere is talking about a full-scale response to the attacks. Nothing major really, just another possible war and the reality that hundreds of thousands of innocent lives hang in the balance because the midget in control of North Korea also has nukes, but let's stay focused on the important shit, you know, Bristol Palin and the TSA gropings at your local airport (more about them anon).

Oy vey...sometimes it's enough to drive me to drink...(most times I just walk though)...

Peace.

I am offended that the Whitehouse is offended...or further proof that they just don't get it..

Democratic bulldog and former Clinton advisor told on off-colour joke at a breakfast meeting he was having the other day. He suggested that if Hillary Clinton lent Obama one of her balls, they'd both have two. Whether you find that funny, sexist, demeaning or just plain offensive you have to admit, he wasn't wrong.

After being swept into office on a massive wave of euphoric jubilation, promising hope and change, telling us that things would be different from the eight long years of right-wing oppression we had just suffered through, Barack Obama promptly fumbled the ball on the one-yard line.

He had almost the whole country behind him. He had the whole world on his side. Whitehouse press conferences would once again include complete sentences and proper syntax. The word 'nuclear' would be pronounced properly. His party controlled both chambers of Congress, and what did he do? He dropped the fucking ball. He asked the republican party permission to govern. Totally ignoring the absolutely emphatic mandate given to him by the American people, he asked the very same people that had driven the countrys' economy straight off the cliff, if they'd like to help him steer the wheel.

That's not "change", that's "doing the same fucking thing again".

His racist opponents on hate radio ably aided by the rabid attack-dogs on Fake News spewed ever-more venomous and vile accusations at him, and those around him. And the Whitehouse stayed silent.

They didn't get "offended" when the FBI fessed up that thousands of people had been illegally wire-tapped.

They didn't get "offended" when bush admitted that he personally gave the order to commit war crimes.

They didn't get "offended" when the gop time and again called him a commie or a socialist, or a Kenyan.

They didn't get "offended" when the gop shut down the extension of unemployment benefits.

They didn't get "offended" whenever (insert right-wing loudmouth here) called him (insert baseless accusation/insult here).

No.

They choose to get "offended" because of something someone said about his balls.

If there is a clearer example of this Whitehouse and this President being damned near clueless, this is it.

(and for what it's worth, I'm surprised Carville only credits Mrs. Clinton with having three....)

Is it tea time yet? (republicans block extension of benefits to the unemployed)

To all of the ignorant, backward-ass, gullible, dumb as-a-bag-of-hammers, 'Obama's a communist', red-neck, toothless cousin-fuckers that voted for the republican party this past election, may I offer my first piece of evidence proving that you just got royally fucked?

They aren't even in office yet as the majority, but the party of rich white men is already signalling that the poor might as well take a flying fuck at the moon if they think they are going to get anything remotely close to help or compassion whilst the gop have the reins. They even had the nerve to suggest that they couldn't in good conscience (like any of them actually possess one) vote to extend the benefits without cutting from somewhere else in the budget, conveniently forgetting that they are the same bunch of arrogant assholes that are demanding that the bush tax-gifts to the rich be extended whatever the cost ($700 billion).

I'd laugh if it wasn't so goddamned sad.

Obama gives Medal of Freedom to Bush Sr...or why any 'hope' of 'change' has now been terminated..

In what for many will be the final insult to those that supported him, Barack 'Bipartisan' Obama has decided that George H.W. Bush, the architect of the 'October Surprise', the lynch pin in Iran-Contra and the architect behind the first gulf war, should be awarded the highest civilian honour in the land, the Medal of Freedom.

Look, I know that this comes at a bad time attention-span-wise for the average Yank, after all there is all sorts of outrage over the fact that ThunderThighs Palin is through to the final on Dancing with the (Z-list) Stars because the slavish, Teahadists followers of her mother have figured out how to game ABC's voting system. Plus everyone is all a-twitter over a couple of rich twenty-something Brits finally planning to say 'I do' next year in a bloody great big church, but when Barack Obama, a man widely thought to not only possess a brain, but also know how to use it, says that it's a good idea to honour someone like this, I have to say that for me, it is time to get off the 'Hope and Change' Express.

I knew from the start that Obama was only going to be a 'liberal' when viewed from the angle of where we had just come from. He always was a centrist, a mediator not an idealist, but I had hoped that, if for no other reason than his upbringing, we would have had at least the semblance of an effort to right the wrongs of the previous administration. The first indication that things weren't going to go that way was his choice of Rick Warren, a known gay-basher, to lead the inaugural invocation. Whilst the gathered crowd cheered, along with tens of millions of others at homes across the nation, as Bush the Lessor was escorted out of national governance and back to the pig farm from whence he came, the wheels of capitulation had already started to turn.

Hopes for a quick end to the disastrous wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were quickly dashed when troop numbers actually increased in the 'Stan. When knowledge of yet more torture and abuse by the previous administration came to light, the President and his Attorney General refused to even consider investigations, never mind prosecutions of the offenders. As the news that the FBI had knowingly violated the privacy of thousands and thousands of American citizens during the bush years via illegal wire-taps came to the fore, the constitutional law-scholar from Harvard didn't raise a finger to bring those responsible to account, or even bother to gather assurances that the practice had ceased. Even now, when you have to subject yourself to being publicly groped by a stranger in order to get on an airplane, a blatant violation of civil rights, the President won't so much as raise an eyebrow.

I knew he wasn't a liberal, but come on, enough is enough. Maybe Bill Hicks was right, but all I know is this: this ain't the "Change" I asked for.

Teabaggers are hypocritical assholes*

Look, we all know what happened in the most recent mid-term elections, republicans took back the seats they had lost two years ago to the phenomenon of 'change' sweeping the country at the time. The M$M of course did their bit to paint it as a massive disaster for the Democrats. The presstitutes were barely able to suppress their ear-to-ear grins as they described the elections as a wholehearted repudiation of the Obama doctrine (which is weird, because if he actually does have a doctrine it appears to consist entirely of asking to be kicked in the balls repeatedly by the republicans whilst simultaneously apologizing to the American people for being too partisan). But what went totally unmentioned was the fact that the republican politicians that were elected this cycle are some of the least-qualified and heavily IQ-deficient bunch seen in D.C. since Newt Gingrich's 'contract on America' crowd showed up in the 1990's. This should be seen as very bad omen.

The fact that they are a bunch of hypocrites is a given (they are after all republican politicians, so naturally there's not a lobbyist's check they won't be eager to cash), but the fact that we find out so quickly is somewhat amazing. A case in point is Dr Andy Harris (R-Teabag) who was elected this past november in no small part due to his vehement and passionate opposition of the "government take-over of health-care" and a solemn promise to "repeal Obamacare". The fact that a doctor opposes a plan that gives people access to hospitals, doctors and medicine for the first time seems a little strange to me, but in Tea-bag world it obviously makes perfect sense. Anyway, as it turns out Dr Harris is a big fan of government run health plans after all. Specifically his. So much so in fact, he got a little pissy when he found out he'd actually have to wait before his benefits kicked in. Imagine that, after all of his anti-government rhetoric, after all of his railing against the 'socialist healthcare plan' this guy can't even wait 'til he's been sworn in before he wants his piece of the pie.

This is yet another reason why Teabaggers are fucking morons. They have been played like violins and they are too fucking stupid to know it. Sadly the joke is on the rest of us as we have to put up with at least two years of these assholes in office before we get a chance to throw them back out on the street where they belong.

*this phrase is redundant I know, but it is a service message for the thinking-impaired.

This is why we're doomed as a species...

...we just can't stop killing things...and now I read this story... it makes me want to rip my hair out...

After everything that dog went through, some low-level fucktard county worker "accidentally" kills the family pet when it gets out and acts like a regular dog...

Unreal...just unreal...

...and now over to the sportsdesk...

Cross-posted from a motor racing forum I frequent regarding todays F-1 race...

copyright AFP

"Dear Mr. Buttmacher,

As I am sure you are totally unaware, I have never liked you, your driving style or your chin, however in light of today's accident I would like to suggest that you change your current vocation. You have won more WDC's than anyone else, some of them without being a dirty, chopping cheating bastard all the time, you have taken more money from Phillip Morris than a million ciggy-starved test beagles could spend on a nicotine bender, and you have two beautiful children courtesy of HHF's ex-girlfriend. In other words you have nothing left to prove.

Look, I would have liked to have seen you had your nads used as a speed-bag for the crap you pulled on Damon Hill, Jacques Villeneuve and Mika Hakkinen, during your career, but I would hate to see you make HHF's-ex a widow, and your kids fatherless simply because you were bored with retirement.

So, do them a favour and hang them up whilst you still can. You always were, and always will be, a pointy-chinned dirty chopping, cheating bastard, but I beg of you, don't make me say nice things about you publicly as would be the case if you were to die when you had your head removed by a stray Force India.

Sincerely,

Not A Fan of Yours

P.S. If you mention this to anyone I will claim that I was drunk or had my account hacked, but I'm serious. Retire. Spend your money. Hug your kids. Shag HHF's ex. I would if I were you.."

I knew I wasn't really going to get a pony, but can I at least get some of that "change" I was promised?

The Obama administration today denied Endangered Species Act protection to 251 species.

George W. Bush (you remember him don't you, the Texas oilman?) protected, on average, 29 species per year. So far Obama has protected, on average, 26 species per year. Yup. The oilman protected more endangered wildlife than his allegedly 'green' successor.

Obama also lifted the offshore oil-drilling ban, (that was put in place by George Bush the First) because apparently big oil companies haven't fucked up the oceans enough. Yup. The oilman's old man protected the seas and shores more efficiently than the 'green' President.

Environmentalists had to go to court to sue the Federal Government to have the Northern Rockies Gray Wolf re-listed as endangered. (Thankfully the good guys won that one).

Obama is the only democratic politician that can say "clean coal" with a straight face and without laughing out loud, and as part of his green energy policy he wants to build new nuclear power plants, because Three-Mile Island or Chernobyl can't possibly happen again.

I'm starting to think the only "change" that took place in 2008 was that now when we get lied to we get a friendly, reassuring smile instead of the gormless smirk we had for the previous eight years.

My head hurts.

Well they don't call them coffin nails for no reason...

The Feds have finally decided that graphic labels featuring corpses and rotten cancerous mouths might finally take the edge off the 'coolness' that is cigarette advertising in the US. Whilst it is true that radio and telly ads for fags have been banned in the States for years, there are still billboards and magazine glossies showing some relaxed hot babe, or well-chiseled dude with a fag hanging out of their gobs in some gloriously cool and alluring setting. This could well be changing.

Now as a recent addition to the list of pompous and sanctimonious ex-smokers out there, I must tell you that when I was a non-smoker I never saw an advert that made me think to myself  "blimey, I bet I'd get to shag birds that look just like that if I started to smoke". I did see plenty of ads that might have made me change brands though, and over my smoking years (actually over half of my life as it turns out) I did change brands several times. So from personal experience I can attest that ciggy advertising works, at least part of the way. I have no way of knowing if this new idea will actually get people to quit, or more importantly make sure they never start, but I really hope it does. It is a complete and total waste of money, and is quite possibly the most stupid product ever devised, think about it, what other product do you buy on a daily basis and then immediately set fire to? See? Dumb right?

So here I sit, finally able to consider myself smoke-free, and the single biggest question I have is this: Why in the world did no-one ever kick me squarely in the nads every time I entered the room after smoking a ciggy? That shit smells revolting.

New Oklahoma law accidentally bans the 10 commandments...or why stupid is as stupid does..

In an attempt to prove their god-fearin' gun-totin' christian purity last week, the voters of Oklahoma overwhelming approved a ballot measure that (they thought) would ban the use of Sharia Law in determining verdicts in trials. This came as news to me, I was unaware that this was a problem anywhere in the US, but apparently in Oklahoma it is so rampant that they needed to pass a law banning it before all of the toothless cousin-fuckers that live there were forced to grow beards and their wives and girlfriends were forced to cover their tattoed beer-bellies with burkas...

So last week those good ole boys voted to ban using Sharia Law in courts. Whew, that was close right? Well maybe not. You see, in their rush to ban a "foreign law" from being used in their courts, they may just have accidentally banned the very thing they were looking to protect i.e. the ten commandments.

I know that making fun of rednecks is easy, you know, because they're rednecks and all, but this story really takes the cake...

Compromise my ass...or why the President needs to get his Samuel L. Jackson on...

Speaking yesterday at a press conference discussing the results of the monumental ass-fucking that was the 2010 Mid-Term elections, President Obama talked about the need to compromise and to work toward common ground with the new majority party in the House.  I nodded sagely as I listened to the words coming from his mouth but my brain was going ape-shit...

Here's what my brain was saying...

"Wait, so the party that kicked you in the nuts every single time you compromised with them....you NOW say the way forward is to compromise with them even MORE?

Do you not read newspapers? Did you not just see what happened to your party at the hands of the people you compromised with? Do you WANT to be a one-term President?

I know that someone will tell me that this is some 9th level jujitsu mind-chess that Obama is playing, but after the ASS KICKING we just got, I'm sorry but I ain't buyin'...

You tried playing nice and look where it got you...remember what Einstein said about doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result?

Mr President, with the best love in the world for your cerebral approach to governance and all that fancy-ass Jedi mind-trick shit you claim you can pull , I do believe it is time to get your Samuel L. Jackson on, drop the nuanced bullshit and kick some motherfucking ass..."

For once, I think my brain is right.

A couple of bright moments in an otherwise dark evening...or why money can't buy you Gov...

I'll write more about the dire results of the mid-term selections later, but for now i'll just briefly mention  the couple of results that did manage to put a smile on my face. Both of them from California. In the Senatorial campaign Carly Failurina lost by 10 percentage points to Barbara Boxer (one of the few liberals left in that chamber) after having spent many millions of her own cash to fund her increasingly shrill and bitchy ads. That was good fun to watch, because no matter how hard the presstitiutes tried to spin things in her favour she was never really in it at all.

But the best result of the evening had to be the total failure of the former head of E-Bay to buy her way into the Governor's mansion in Sacramento. Some estimates have her spending $141 million of her own money to wind up with 13% less of the vote than her competitor. That equates to roughly $9 for each registered voter in the Golden State (and closer to $50 for each vote she actually did get). She may have fared better if she had just bought every voter in the state a nice lunch with that money, because spending it on hateful, angry and bitter radio, print and tv ads didn't appear to work...Too bad, so sad...

Unfortunately across the rest of the nation money did do the talking, and it was democracy that did the walking..right into the buzzsaw..more on that anon...

The Rally to Restore Sanity...or 'can't we all just get along' part II

I watched the hugely-attended rally yesterday from the Mall in D.C. and it looked like a real blast. The crowd size knocked Glenn Beck's religious revival meeting in the dirt, the music was great, the jokes were funny and the overall  point was well made.

Well, sort of.

In a political season that has been more venomous and mean-spirited than I can ever remember (and bear in mind it has only been two years since McCain foisted his lip-stick wearing Alaskan pit bull on us all), one would think that at a rally that attracted northwards of 300,000 like-minded folks to come together and be heard, they would have come up with a better message. At least one that was better than what was in all essence, just another version of  "can't we all just get along?" I mean really, I thought this was supposed to be a clarion call against the 24/7 news cycle of hate and fear-mongering that pollutes the airwaves, a sort of collective Howard Beale moment.

Apparently not.

Look, I understand that John Stewart and his network had to tread a very fine line between political parody and actually picking a political side, but when the premise of the whole rally is based on two shows that relentlessly take the piss out of the republican party and their right-wing media machine, you would have thought that a 'we're not taking anymore of this shit' message was pretty much a given. Instead we got a watered-down, almost generic, 'all-of-the-talking-heads-on-cable-are-as-bad-as-each-other' message that is both disingenuous and almost entirely incorrect. That's almost as intellectually dishonest as agreeing with the 'Liberal Media' myth. (Speaking of whom, the M$M not surprisingly, almost entirely boycotted the rally because, you know, it wasn't a "serious news event").

At the end of the day I'm not sure what anyone realistically expected to come out of the rally, other than a damn good time being had by all, and everyone being agreeable and  nice to everyone else, but I do know this; three hundred thousand volunteers going door-to-door in a coordinated 'Get out the Vote' campaign might have been a hell of alot more productive in getting a positive result for the country come Tuesday night.

I sincerely hope I'm wrong about this, but in the end I think it was just pissing in the wind. We shall see.

Dear republican 'economic expert' fuckwads...I know what you are up to...and so does the electorate..

Whilst you climb up on your high-horses and talk about 'government spending gone mad' regarding the economic stimulus implemented by President Obama (which, by the way, recent figures show has actually worked) and how once you seize power this fall all of that will end, the electorate is finally beginning to cotton on. You see, whilst it sounds great in the 30 second ads your corporate owners play endlessly on the idiot's lantern this election season, we know that you're completely full of shit. Even though you get to lie about it almost non-stop courtesy of the unbelievably incompetent and potentially republic-destroying decision handed down by the Chief Puppet of the Supreme Joke, John Roberts, your campaign ads can't hide the one thing that we all know to be true: if the government doesn't spend money in an economic environment where corporations are too busy hoarding their cash and the US consumer has no cash because they are flat broke, bankrupt, jobless and sometimes all three, the economy goes straight into the shitter.

Again.

We know that and you know that, and more to the point, we know that you know that. And yet your entire platform is stolen from the Tea-Bag morons i.e. you want to stop ALL government spending. So we now know, beyond a shadow of doubt what you really stand for. We now know that you really do want the economy to tank. That way, once the shit hits the fan, you can blame it all on Obama and get Caribou Barbie or some other equally brain-dead meat-puppet installed in the Whitehouse in 2012, and you can finally finish what Dick Cheney and his idiot side-kick started after the bloodless coup d'etat of 2000, the utter destruction of the Constitution and the end to representative democracy in this country. (Don't get me wrong, they'll still have "elections" and people will still "vote", but the only interests being represented will be those of the corporations).

It means that we now know, beyond a shadow of doubt, that you are the party that is solely interested in protecting corporations and their profits over the well-being of the citizenry you claim to represent. (Not new news I know, but it is refreshing to have it finally out in the open).

It means that we know, beyond a shadow of doubt, that you will say and do ANYTHING to get elected and that you are the furthest thing from the patriots you pretend to be. (No real surprise there then either).

It means that whilst your over-paid enablers in the Corporate Media continue to lob nothing but pre-screened, pre-approved softballs during their 'up close and hard-hitting' interviews with you, the electorate has finally seen through it all and at long last figured you out.

We know that you are mean, greedy, selfish people that care only about themselves and nothing about the rest of us, and we know that you think we are so stupid that we won't ever figure that out. Well, I think this time you have gone too far. I think that this time your baises have started to show through so clearly and so blatantly that you will wind up getting your dicks slammed in the drawer. Hard.

So sure, go ahead and crow about your upcoming takeovers of the House and Senate, start measuring those curtains and planning to move in your office furniture, but when on November 3rd, after all the dust has cleared, you find out that you are still in the minority, maybe then you will finally figure out that you can't treat the electorate as a bunch of un-educated semi-literate morons that can be manipulated by slick ad campaigns full of lies and bullshit, and that you might actually need to come up with an economic platform that helps people, rather then corporations.

Wait, what? Yeah, I know, no fucking way, right? I'll have a three-way with Salma Hayek and Cindy Crawford before that ever happens.

Want to really piss off a Tea-Bagger? Show them this graph...(you might have to explain it to them though it has numbers and shit)..

If the numbers still confuse them use the verbal version and watch their tiny little heads explode...

More private sector jobs have been created in the last 8 months under the Obama administration than in the last EIGHT YEARS under bush....

Suck on that you teabagging weenies!!!

Top Gear finally reaches the big time...

Attention all Yanks...if you still don't know what Top Gear is, the show is being featured on 60 Minutes this sunday...I know that a show broadcast on BBC America might scare you because they speak proper English and use proper grammar and the like, but on Top Gear they speak horsepower and fun almost exclusively...So if you can stand to rip yourselves away from "Who wants to win a million dances with the stars on survivor amazing race american idol real housewives of Podunk shores" for a few minutes, you might find another show to watch...

If however, like most Americans who have the attention span of a crack-whore in a time-machine, you have already become bored with this post and buggered off, thanks for your time, and enjoy the dreck you normally watch as your brains turn to porridge and your eyes rot in their sockets...

Hugs and kisses etc etc

Shirley Sherrod vs. Juan Williams. Outrage disparity much?

So the right-wing media machine kicks in to high gear to defend the bigot, he had over 9 minutes on GMA this morning to give his "Bigot? Who me?" act a spin and it got me to thinking about Shirley Sherrod. Remember her? The Federal employee that was summarily fired for comments it turns out she didn't actually make. Strangely I don't remember her being given the same sort of free air-time to repudiate the blatant lies fashioned by Fuxx news contributor Brietbart when she got fired, but hey, it's not like the M$M is owned by republican-backing corporations or anything...

The media in this country make me ill.

...Christine O'Donnell out-stupids the Governor of Facebook...and the M$M lets her get away with it...again..

...I almost feel guilty writing this...it's sort of like making fun of the mentally challenged as they try their hand at logic, you know, like they do on 'Fox and Friends' every morning...I feel almost that guilty, but in the end I really don't...you see, Christine O'Donnell, (stop laughing that's not the punchline...well okay, yes she is a running joke that keeps getting funnier, but that's not the point) fresh from having been publicly schooled on what the First Amendment actually means in a debate held at a law school, thinks she actually won the debate and that the audience was laughing with her and not at her.

Now this proves to one and all, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she is completely and totally out of her tiny, delusional, mind. Well, everyone that is, except the M$M. Unfortunately, even this outburst of insanity didn't stop those presstitutes from giving her lots and lots of free time to explain her backward-ass point of view...Whilst she was busy yapping away on the telly this morning, and being a bit of a cynic, I said to myself  "I bet they won't even have her opponent on to rebut this"...well guess what, they actually did go to him for a "rebuttal"...well, almost...you see, when they actually cut to her Democratic opponent Chris Coons, for a 'rebuttal', they all of a sudden had "technical difficulties". This meant that there was no live video feed and instead all they could manage was a phone interview in which the co-host, George Suckedalotofballs, asked a series of "why do you hate rich people" and "when did you stop beating your wife" type of questions..

You know, it's getting to the point where I just don't want to switch the telly on in the morning anymore...we stopped watching the CBS morning show in our house because Harry "he's a decent guy" Smith and his simpering female colleague didn't even bother to hide their disdain of anyone with a (D) as their party affiliation. Plus, when they interviewed  republicans (if by "interviewed" you mean 'gave them a public arena in which to spout their extremist views without threat of being contradicted') their gooey softballs questions were so light and fluffy that if they contained anything softer they would melt. So we switched to ABC (there was no way we were going to watch NBC as the hosts of their morning show make me physically ill) and initially things seemed marginally better, but as the political season began to pick up, so did the number of 'exclusive' interviews with republican political operatives, and the underlying memes of "President Obama is deeply unpopular" and the "Dems are going to get their asses kicked" started to get louder and louder..Nary a morning would go by without some angry white person being given free airtime to talk down and ridicule the President. These would be the very same people that would have called for the public hanging of any Democrat if they had dared to say anything remotely similar when bush was in office mind you, for daring to question the President "in a time of war". The fact that we are still "in a time of war" seems to have escaped both the republican reptiles being given free airtime, and their servile enablers in the media.

Still, one can only hope that after this religiously-insane, constitutionally-challenged dingbat gets her 'masturbation is a sin' arse handed to her on election day that she will once and for all disappear from the national airwaves...
 
Fat chance.

...and speaking of stupid...the Quitter from Wasilla endorses the wrong candidate in the wrong state...

...I know that calling her stupid is an insult to stupid people, but really, she couldn't even get the state right?

That's a new kind of dumb for the Governor of Facebook-land, you betcha, also...

You might be in trouble as a candidate if you don't know what the Constitution says...or why Christine O'Donnell needs to quit while she's behind..

One of the basic elements of being a United States Senator is that you are there to protect and defend the Constitution. It's even in the oath you take when you get sworn in. But apparently the running joke that is the republican Senatorial candidate from Delaware, doesn't even know what the 1st amendment says.

The FIRST amendment. The very first one. Not an obscure one like the 11th or the 23rd amendment, but the one that sits there, staring at you, right out of the constitutional starting gate.

Now there have been alot of jokes made at the expense of this empty-headed, talking-point-spewing parrot, and some have been a bit cruel (to which I say tough shit, you can try and stop me from having a wank when you pull my dick from my cold, dead hands) but almost all of them have been done using her own words against her. I think that's just fair play. If you say something stupid, someone someday will find it and spread it far and wide on the interwebs. That is especially true if you have made a career of saying some spectacularly fucking stupid things on television, so when they come back to bite you on the arse you have to accept that fact and try and limit the damage. They may make you look a little naive, maybe even a little bit dense, but you can always say that this was from the past and hey, hasn't everyone at least once dabbled in witchcraft and had sex on an altar? But when you don't even know that the 1st amendment establishes the separation of Church and State in clear, unequivocal language, you have transcended the arena of good old-fashioned ignorance and entered the realm of the monumentally fucking stupid. Let me put it this way, even I know what the 1st amendment says and I was born in another country!

All of this leads me to the one question that all voters in Delaware need to take into the voting booths in two weeks time. If she doesn't know what the Constitution says, how can she possibly take an oath to defend it?

Grumpy old men or why John McCain should just stick to yelling at kids on his lawn..

Bitter old white man John McCain lashed out at California Senator Barbara Boxer at a campaign rally for Carly Fiorina, her HP Golden-Parachute-Winning opponent, this weekend. Based on what he said about Sen Boxer he must feel pretty confident that the former CEO of Hewlett Packard, who almost single-handledly destroyed her former company whilst outsourcing thousands of employees and who was finally fired because she didn't know what she was doing, will win, because if (when) Barbara Boxer wins this election (as current polls indicate she will) I wouldn't be at all surprised if she kicked this wrinkled old git squarely in the pills.

There's politics, there's dirty politics and then there's what you did Senator McCain. Any shred of respect many people had for you instantly evaporated when you chose Caribou Barbie as your running mate in the ass-kicking that was the 2008 Presidential election, but I would have to think that no-one was any left for you now after this latest senile outburst of partisan hatred and bile.

Senator McCain, take a look behind you, there is the line.

"This is not the change you are looking for"...or why Obi-ama gets his Star Wars impression wrong..

So, thrilled as I was that Senator Harry 'Dickless' Reid pulled the chicken-switch yet again and decided NOT to make the republicans filibuster for the continuation of their corporate owners tax gifts, I thought that this week might be a bit better for the Dems. After all, Obama is hitting the campaign trail, where, contrary to the lies from the official gop press outlet Fukked Noizze, he is being greeted with large audiences, riotous applause and much cheering. Likewise, Bill Clinton has put his latest intern to the side and gone on the road to talk up the Dems as well.

Sounds good right? Bringing out the big Democratic guns just as the M$M  presstitutes have to grudglingly report that the polls they've been squawking about for weeks predicting wide-spread slaughter and destruction for the Dems, now actually show that things are not quite as dire as originally reported, seems like a good idea.

Well it was until this little civil liberties-shattering piece of news came out.

Look, I knew that the Prez wasn't a true liberal, not by any stretch of the imagination. I knew that he was a centrist that had grand visions that he could construct a working government with both parties involved in the decisions being made (I also knew he was pissing in the wind because if there's one thing the republicans hate more than a Democrat, it's a Democrat in the Whitehouse). So when he doesn't propose legislation that will outlaw the gop and ban Faux News from the airwaves I am not totally surprised. But when he proposes legislation that even his dumb-as-a-rock predecessor's puppet-master didn't dare dream about, I have to admit that I get a little annoyed. Well, okay, more than a little.

Not only will this new legislation not make us any safer from a 'National Security' standpoint, it will actually have the opposite effect for every single person with a computer and an internet connection. If the Internet companies have to provide the government with instructions on how to un-encrypt our private communications, don't you think that hackers will do the same only quicker and more efficiently? We are supposed to be trying to make it MORE difficult for the hackers to gain access to our computers and personal information, not the other way around. Never mind the fact that there is no mention of how these taps will be applied, what the standard of proof is in order to secure this data, and whether warrants will even be necessary before the internet companies simply hand over our cyber-lives on a silver platter to the government. And what happens if your information is requested but is later found out to have been a mistake? Most likely the companies involved will have their immunity from civil or criminal prosecution written into this law ahead of time, you know, to save the politicians the embarassment of having to vote for the shredding of our rights separately as they had to with the phone companies. Got to take care of the corporations don't you know.

So, is an Obama Presidency better than the alternative we were given? Yes, by a factor of many trillions, but the truth is that as much as the republicans like to paint him as a dangerous out-of-control socialist, judging by his actions, and the legislation he has proposed, unfortunately that couldn't be further from the truth.

This is NOT funny...(well maybe a little bit)...

I know that this really isn't funny, especially as he seems to have been a really nice bloke, but the visual that it conjures up just makes me burst out laughing...

Mr. Heseldon sir, you were a kind and generous man, but making an "Off-Road" Segway was pushing the boundaries just a little too far...

May you RIP.

"You guys suck!!!" "Yeah? Well you guys suck WORSE!!!"...or what the M$M isn't telling you..

Just a tricky-quicky this Friday morning for all of my fan. As noted in one of my earlier rants, the M$M has already determined that the Democrats have lost the Mid-Term elections this coming November, and it's all now just a question of how large the gop majority will be, and where John Boner's tanning table will go in the office of Speaker of the House.

This morning on the front page of msnbc.com is a massive article (with a graph and everything) screaming in HUUUUGE font 'Democrats in worse shape than in 1994'. Fair enough. Except buried lower down on the same page, MUCH lower down of course, is this little nugget of truth.

So there you have it kids, proof positive, that even though the presstitutes in the Corporate media are telling you one thing, the whole truth tells a slightly different story.

Bottom line? They're all a bunch of lying bastards.

Fuck 'em.

"Outsourced", yeah, that's REALLY fucking funny...

As none of you know, because no-one actually reads this blog, there is a brand new sitcom starting this fall called "Outsourced". The premise is a lower-level manager of a call center is told that his entire department is being 'laid off' and their jobs will be outsourced to India. His only chance at continued employment is to travel to India and train the Indians who will replace his former co-workers.

Now, I don't mind telling you that I am having a hard time typing this as I wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes just from reading the premise. I mean that is just hysterically fucking funny, right? People lose their jobs and then one dumb schmuck has to travel half way around the world just to try and keep his...Hahahahahahaha!!!! Stop! STOP!!! I can't take much more!!

Okay, maybe not. What, exactly, is supposed to be so funny? The fact that all of those jobs went overseas? Or maybe that because the only way the white dude keeps his job is to go to India? Or maybe it's funny to laugh at the poor bastards being paid $1/day to take those US jobs in the first place, or maybe it's just really fucking hysterical to listen to people with accents use Americanised names...

Me? I'm having a hard time understanding why anyone wouldn't see that as being mind-blowingly funny, but then again I just sent a script to Hollywood for a new comedy series called "Foreclosed". It stars a cast of very rich bankers that each week get to fuck over a poor family that can no longer afford their home, and the side-splittingly funny situations that ensue as the newly homeless family struggles to survive out on the streets...I think I have a real shot of having that picked up for a full season, probably by Fox...

From the NRDC...no explanation needed...

Up is down, black is white and Christine O'Donnell is electable...

I hate to burst the right-wing love-fest bubble currently being spewed by the presstitutes in the M$M but let's keep some facts in mind.  She won with just 16% of the 187,000 or so registered republican voters in the state and is trailing her democratic rival by 15 points in the General. The same Democratic opponent who would have been dead in the water if Rep. Castle had won. So a) thank you tea-baggers for insuring the Dems retain the Senate majority in November, we couldn't have done it without you, and I really mean that, and b) none of the tea-hadists that are currently creaming their jeans in a 100% non-lustful manner seem to recognize the fact that their "populist" movement is actually bought and paid for by a couple of billionaire brothers. They are being used and are simply too dumb or too blind to see it. They are good fun to watch though...it's like getting a sneak peek into a lunatic asylum when the meds get mixed up..

And the real winner in last night's Delaware Republican primary is.....the Democrats...

As can be seen by today's less than cordial response from her opponent, the newest gop Senatorial candidate from the state of Delaware, Ms 'Don't let the fingers do the walking' O'Donnell, has set off a bit of a firestorm in the party of Angry White Men.

The Anti-Christ (formerly known as Karl Rove) was less than supportive in his comments, and even George Bush The Dumber's former speech writer David Frum came out and said that this basically hands the seat to the Democrats in November. Not exactly the sort of encouragement this political neophyte might have hoped for.

But the larger problem here isn't so much that a totally batshit-crazy loon has been elected in a republican primary, there have been plenty of those this year, the bigger problem is that they are SOOOOOO completely out of their damned minds, they make people like the Anti-Christ (please see above) sound sane and reasonable. For example, Harry Reid's opponent, Sharon Angle, is so completely out of her mind that she thinks that Democratic control of America is a violation of the first commandment. Not the First amendment, the first commandment... And that is why, up until last night, Harry Reid was the luckiest Democrat in the country.

But not anymore. Nope, that title now goes to Chris Coons, the Democratic candidate for Joe Biden's old job. Why? For the simple reason that his opponent is even more out of her tree, totally-around-the-bend, oh-my-fucking-God, not-playing-with-a-full deck, nutsy-cuckoo than Sharon Angle is. And trust me that takes some doing. I am sure that I will be writing more about this crazy bird in the not-too-distant future, but for now I'll leave you with this little nugget of dumbassity from the newest Princess of stupid: in 2003 O'Donnell was quoted as saying that by allowing college dorms to go co-ed it would lead to the opening of "orgy rooms" and "menage a trois rooms" on campuses across the United States. Now I don't know about you, but anyone that has a mind that is so fevered and so pent-up with sexual self-denial that they can imagine that sort of thing actually existing anywhere other than the Playboy Mansion (or Bill Clinton's bachelor-pad) simply proves that they themselves are the ones in desperate, desperate need of a damned good shagging...

Taking a walk on the wild side..or where NOT to go hiking on holiday this year..

Would someone please explain to me why in the world you would CHOOSE to go mountain hiking on the border between two hostile countries during a war? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that it might be over soon , but really...what in the world were they thinking? Were the Rockies booked? No room on Denali? Utter madness if you ask me...

Apparently the gop has already won the mid-term elections...And I think this is a good thing..

Okay, hear me out...I haven't lost my mind or suffered a serious head injury this past weekend (although I did go to Wisconsin which some would consider more or less the same thing)..I think that the numerous polls lately (and we all know how reliable they can be) that show that the Dems will lose control of the House in November will actually fire up the typical "off-peak election" lethargic Democratic voter and get them to the voting booths this fall.

Whilst I realize that the presstitutes in the M$M are simply doing their masters' bidding with this bullshit, I think that it will unwittingly back-fire on them.

Their polls conveniently show that whilst Dems are unpopular, because you know, even though it took 8 years to completely fuck things up it should take much less time to clean it all up so folks are "frustrated", they forget to mention that the rethuglicans are even less popular.

Pushing the meme that Boner will be the next speaker of the House makes a splashy headline, and maybe sets up the battleground for a little election fraud, but in the end I think that the thought of that chain-smoking Oompa Loompa with the gavel in his hand will be sufficient to get the Dem voters to the polls in enough numbers to prevent the realization of those dire headlines..

Let me make this clear, I am no cheer-leader for this President or this Congress. I am less than enthused with the President's agenda, in fact I think he has been a spectacular failure in many areas, and I am even less happy about the apparent inability of his inner circle to understand what the phrase "mandate for change" meant. However he was given a truly shitty hand, and I think that he may finally be learning the lesson that the gop will never, EVER, cooperate with him evidenced by the fact that he is starting to beat them over their heads with their own obstructionism. Bearing that in mind, and with the horrifying alternative being obvious to anyone with an IQ higher than a petri dish, I think that even as the ass-clowns yip and yap endlessly on the idiot-box about how the GOP has already won the elections, it will be a leaner, meaner Democratic majority being returned to govern us after all the counting has been done this November, and that we may finally, at long last, see some real "change".

If you aren't pissed off you aren't paying attention...

A quick cross-post from something I put on the Democratic Underground this morning in response to a post about 'moderate' voters...

"..I simply don't understand how people can be "undecided" or "moderate" when you look at the rethuglican party...It really is very simple..if it fucks over the poor/working class/women/education/educators/the environment/gays/non-christians/immigrants/non-whites then they are for it..

If it benefits any of the above in any way whatsoever they are against it.

Any questions?"

Pretty much sums up my mood at the moment...

Dear republican fucktards...there is no mosque at ground zero..stop lying..

I know that you were making hay while the sun shines, and seeing as how your corporate buddies control the media that's pretty much all of the time, but really, we're not all as stupid as your xenophobic base. The vast majority of us are indeed capable of intelligent thought. We ask questions. And we can smell bullshit a mile away, which is why all of this faux outrage is so offensive to those of us with IQ's higher than the number of ex-wives Newt Gingrich has.

The planned Islamic Cultural Center is a building that will contain a basketball court and a culinary school as well as two floors designated as prayer areas. This does NOT make the entire building a mosque, in the same way that a chapel in a hospital does not make it a church, but you can't really get the mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, flag-wavers that compromise your base all fired up about a "community center" can you? Not really, but if you call it a mosque, and say that it's going to be built "at ground zero" (another steaming pile of bullshit) then Joe Six-Pack gets his hate on and starts foaming at the mouth right on cue.

I don't blame you, you are merely doing what you do best, but I do blame the lapdog media for going along with this blatant right-wing lie. I shouldn't be surprised really, they are all (with a couple of rare exceptions) either too lazy or too incompetent to actually dig for the truth. They are much more interested in their bloated salaries and quasi-celebrity status than doing their fucking jobs, but I still get depressed when almost every network has their Ken and Barbie Doll news-models spouting the same tele-prompted lies day after day, apparently without even thinking about what the words escaping their lip-glossed mouths are actually saying.

Even more depressing though is the reaction from the higher-ups in the Democratic party. President Obama finally weighed in on the issue by reminding everyone, including the butt-fuck-stupid idiots on the right, that this is America, dammit, and here we have a thing called the Constitution and it guarantees freedom of religion. That would be ALL religion buckwheat. So why don't you go back to fucking your half-sister and leave the thinking to the adults. There was much rejoicing from the left as the President showed the rest of the Democratic party what a spine looked like, but then, even before the cheers had died down, he promptly backed down.

Not to be outdone in the "I want to look like a complete equivocating twat" contest, the Senate majority leader, Harry Reid, said that even though there is religious freedom in the USA, the mosque should probably be built somewhere else. In all fairness to Harry 'Ball-less' Reid, he is in a tight re-election battle against a woman that is quite possibly the most ill-informed, jaw-droppingly dense person to have ever sought office, but really Harry, you had to say that people are free to worship as they please, as long as they accept a few restrictions on where they actually do it?

I feel ill.

Of racism and spines...(or how the Whitehouse and the NAACP got played)

If there is anything to learn from this week's news story about Shirley Sherrod getting fired from the USDA because of a completely made-up story broadcast by FoKKK's Noise it is this...Democrats (and the NAACP) have no spines.

The heavily-edited video clip given to Fixed Noize by right-wing hack and serial-liar Andy Breitbart, rather than offering proof of the NAACP's, and by default (because, you know, he's black), the Obama administration's tacit approval of reverse racism, actually shows that this administration has a complete and total lack of spine when it comes to fighting back against the right-wing noise machine.

Rather than looking more deeply into what the whole story was, the WH decided that Shirley Sherrod was guilty of discriminating against whites (24 years ago) and she should be asked to resign (that's gummint speak for 'fired') immediately. According to Shirley she was travelling by car when she was contacted by her superior at the USDA and told to pull off the road and resign via her Blackberry.

Now here we are just one day later, and it turns out that the truth is completely the opposite of what we were led to believe. The complete video of Shirley Sherrod's speech shows that rather than being a racist that discriminated against poor white folks, she used her life experiences to help the poor and disadvantaged regardless of the colour of their skin. This little nugget was deliberately over-looked by the white-sheet wearing bastards at Fixed Noizze and their cross-burning messenger Breitbart. Because it suited their own agendas, these despicable, under-handed reptiles destroyed the career and reputation of a hard-working government employee, all for a blatant, vicious, (and hopefully) libelous lie.

But that's not who I am royally steamed at. You see, I expect those hacks to behave that way. I expect them to pervert, twist and mis-represent the truth, afterall, that's their job. Getting mad at those douche-nozzles for this behaviour would make as much sense as trying to stop Sarah Palin from being a brain-dead, vapid, political opportunist. Some things just are, you know?

No, the people that really fry my frijoles in this mess are the WH and the NAACP.

These folks I expected much more from, and their reactions to this story are maddening beyond belief. The spineless, gutless, scared little creatures in this administration that cower like beaten dogs every single time the right-wing noise machine belches, and the knee-jerk reactionaries at the NAACP, fresh from their recent victory over the racist Teabaggers, were now all too eager to dump one of their own, in case the label of 'racist' boomerang back on them. The speed with which this towering act of cowardice occurred was spell-binding. No-one thought that something might be wrong with this story bearing in mind who was pushing it, no-one thought to fact-check it. No-one thought to find out where the rest of the video was. Nope. They just took it at face value and fired her ass inside of 24 hours.

So, here we are another 24 hours later, and the whole video has now come out. Shirley Sherrod it turns out, isn't a racist, Breitbart and Fukked Noizze still are, and the WH and the NAACP look like scared little children, afraid of the dark. Whether that was the intention all along, to show to the world at large that the WH is a 'Nad-Free' Zone, or not, the inescapable fact is that the people that look like complete arseholes in this situation are not the racist skidmarks that destroyed Shirley Sherrod's career for shits and grins, but rather the spineless dipshits in the administration that folded like cheap deck-chairs in a stiff breeze.

With friends like that, who needs enemies?

On Selective Memory (or why the GOP are completely batshit crazy)

I almost made it to the weekend without having another rant over-take me and drag me kicking and screaming to my netbook to bash out another cyber-yell about something or other. But then as I was perusing the news networks websites (and I use the word "news" hesitantly) this evening I saw a lead piece on CNN.com about how the GOP is taking offense to the First Family going on a vacation in Maine next week.

You see, according to the GOP (the initials used to mean Grand Old Party, I prefer the modern designation, Geriatric Old Perverts) the situation in the Gulf of Mexico is at such a crucial stage that the President really should just stay at the Whitehouse and monitor the situation from there as opposed to Maine where, apparently, there are no phones, televisions, fax machines or broadband internet hook-ups for him to use. Intelligent people, like me and the 3 other people that read this blog, realize straight away that this is merely an attempt to make the President look like a shirker. A guy that is more interested in taking time off, rather than putting in a full day at the office. And that is where my head explodes just a little bit.

First off, if the situation in the Gulf of Mexico as BP tries to stem the flow of oil from the sea floor is that critical, if it were to go all pear-shaped, just what the fuck is he supposed to do about it from the Oval Office? Use mind-control? Pray? Bust out his cape with the big 'O' on the back and go and personally plug the hole? The obvious answer is of course, nothing. There is nothing that he could do from the Oval Office that he couldn't do from Maine, but that basic point of logic escapes the nimble minds of the message shapers at 'talking-point central' at the GOP.

Secondly, and this is the part that really frosts my nads, the idea that the GOP would even think it was a remotely good idea to criticise the current occupant's number of vacation days after the nearly three years that Dumbya bush spent "out of the office" just boggles the mind. Think about this for a second. Bush was in office for 8 years but he spent fully 1/3 of that time either at (or going to) his pig farm in Texass (490 days) or Camp David (487 days). As of this weekend the current occupant of the Whitehouse (and interestingly the only one that was actually legally elected to that position this century) has taken a grand total of 65 days at or going to vacation.

So yeah GOP attack-dogs, lets use that as a platform to try and score some points.