At this time of year it's customary for self-important bastards and dedicated narcissists alike (also known as bloggers) to look back and reflect upon the important shit that happened during the prior twelve months and offer their pithy and humourous commentary about how it impacted them personally. You know, like anybody actually gives a flying fuck what all of these self-absorbed wankers think about anything at all (and judging by the fact that I have been doing this for over a year now and have an audience of about 5 people total, it's become blindingly obvious that just about nobody on the planet gives a flying toss about what I have to say about a goddamned thing).
So, with that in mind, and far be it from me to rock that boat, here is my look back on 2010.
Some bad shit happened (fires, floods, earthquakes, landslides, riots etc but nowhere that impacted white people too much so no-one really gave a shit). Then some REALLY bad shit happened as well (in the US republicans took control of the House of Representatives, whilst in the UK Nick Clegg sold his soul for a seat at the kiddies table in the new conservative governement - Grade A wanker that he is). Some truly awful things happened too (the Chicago Cubs traded Ryan Theriot and Derek Lee for what amounted to a handful of beans. And no, they weren't magic beans. They didn't even make you fart, that would have at least been funny).
In entertainment news some massively over-paid famous people died, some of them got married, most of them got divorced and Mel Gibson got drunk, abusive and arrested. That last one isn't really news, I know, but like Charlie Sheen's life you just can't help but look can you? Oh, that reminds me, is Lindsay Lohan in, or out of rehab? I just can't keep up. Oh to be young, rich, and stacked. Apparently that gets you a rotating door at the LA County jail instead of the 24 hour lockdown you would get if you didn't have an agent, a high-priced lawyer, the ability to suck a golf ball through a garden hose, or big, firm, tanned tits. But I digress.
In the world of sport a few teams won, every other team didn't, and come 2011 no-one will remember either way (the only exception being the famous Ashes victory over the convicts on their own soil for the first time in 24 years by the England cricket team. THAT result will live forever..Suck it losers!!!!!)
In the world of politics, well, you know what happened, read the rest of this blog if you don't and stop being such lazy gits, I'm not going to spoon-feed you a year's worth of my political rants in one offering.
On a personal note my long-suffering wife still hasn't divorced me (thank you honey, if you left I still wouldn't be able to do my own laundry and the dog would never get walked), my kid still thinks I'm a great dad, although closer to the truth is she's the best kid a parent could ever ask for and I just got damned lucky.
But the single most significant (and potentially devastating) piece of news in 2010 is that Justin Fucking Beiber got nominated for two Grammy awards. Can you believe it? I mean really, who is shitting whom? The little bastard isn't old enough to vote and he already has more money than I will make in ten lifetimes, he looks like a smug little git, (I swear I want to slap that smirk right off his face) and now the Grammys have validated his god-awful dross by nominating him for two awards.
As a culture, we are totally fucked.
Happy New Year all!!!
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