Thursday, March 31, 2011

Rethuglican whip says social security "cannot exist" in his vision for America...

Apparently unware that a microphone is a device that records your actual words, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R- Hairpiece) said in a speech used in an NPR interview that he thinks that social security "cannot exist" in his vision for America. He said that old folks that get it today should be covered, but if you want to get the money back that you have been paying into for all these years when YOU get old, according to this guy, you are shit out of luck.

So much for Social Security Reform being the political 'third rail'...
True to form, since his words have now been used against him and spread far and wide by his political opponents, he has blamed them for 'mis-interpreting' what he said, rather than admit that he said he wants to get rid of Social Security.  I'll let you judge for yourself whether this gormless, grinning buffoon said what he said, or whether we're the idiots that can't understand plain english. Either way, I predict Eric Cantor will be on a very short leash for the near future, his owners don't like it when the truth gets out.

Who could have seen this coming?...Congressional Tebaggers turn out to be raging hypocrites...

In a shocking turn of events that no-one could have possibly foreseen, it has come to light that a group of the rabid right-wing Teahadists that rode into office last November screeching about slashing the Federal Budget, and cutting off free Federal handouts, are themselves recipients of free Federal handouts in the form of farm subsidies.

How much free money have these free-loading, lying-through-their-teeth, sonofabitch, hypocritical asswipes received over the years? Try more than $12 million since 1995.

If you are a Teabagger, or know someone that might be a Teabagger, please show them this story, and then bitch-slap them until they wake up and smell the coffee. I know it may well break some of their blackened little hearts, but they need to know that they have been royally screwed over.

Something else struck me about the timing of this story though. If you were a bit of a cynic (like me) you might wonder why this story is coming out now instead of before the elections, you know, when it would have helped the Democrats. A cynical person might suggest that this story (along with others focusing on the slipping approval ratings for the Teahadist-wing of the Rich White Man's party), seem to strangely coincide with the increasingly desperate attempts by Sir John of Orange, to not become the second republican Speaker of the House to cause the Gubmint to shut down.

A cynic might further think that by puffing up the Teanuts during the election campaign, and treating them as though they were a real political force, rather than the bunch of knuckle-dragging racists they really are, the M$M served the overall goal of their corporate owners of insuring a republican majority in the House. The problem for the gop was that once the Teanuts got to D.C. they carried on with their (unabashedly hypocritical as it turns out) calls for massive spending cuts and they threatened to stamp their feet and hold their breath long enough to shut down the Gubmint if they didn't get their way.

This of course would cause a HUGE problem for the Rich White Man's party. They've tried that routine once before and it didn't work out so well for them then either, so how could the leadership of the republican party get the useful idiots on the extreme right to toe the line now that they had served their purpose? The solution to the problem turns out to be relatively simple. Just have the lapdogs in the M$M start to reveal the truth about the screaming simpletons that got elected, and force them to sit down, shut up, and do as they're told before more truth 'accidentally' slips out.

We shall see if this ploy works, but the one thing I know for sure is that if Speaker Boner et al are stupid enough to shut the government down next week, effectively shutting off millions of people from receiving their government checks whilst still receiving their own, the electoral blood bath in 2012 could be immense.

Stay tuned...

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

"Holy Radioactive Shit Batman!!"

From the very first moment that it became apparent that things were starting to go horribly pear-shaped at the Fukushima nuclear power plant, the worldwide press has been fed a steady diet of carefully parsed, non-panicky, 'don't worry, nothing to see here' type of press releases. All of them couched in language that has tried to paint the brightest of smiles onto what was in reality a truly dire situation. It didn't matter who was doing the talking, the Japanese government, or the real culprits, the power company, they were both talking out of their backsides. I figured it out thusly, the Tokyo Electric Power Company (TEPCO) would say something, the experts would call bullshit, and the following day TEPCO would confirm what the experts had said the day before. Best case, these lying bastards were giving themselves about a 36 hour window before confirming someone else's theory about their latest obsfucation. Nice. It's not like we're dealing with anything dangerous you know..

Even in the best case scenario this wasn't going to be an easy or quick fix. The problem is that with this sort of material you don't just put the fire out, send in the cleaners, give everything a nice fresh coat of paint, rename the power plant, and tell everyone to move along. Not really. This shit stays hot for a very, very long time. And it stays seriously nasty for even longer.

The one thing that has been constant throughout this whole debacle is that it continues to get worse, but you had to read between the lines to be able to figure that out. Initially exclusion zones were fairly small, but then, each day they kept on being expanded a little further out, and then a little further still. Then we were told that there were 'minor' explosions at the plant, 'small' fires, 'minor' releases of radioactive steam, and eventually 'partial' meltdowns. None of which, we were assured, was anything to really worry about. Well now might be a good time to start. Radioactive particles from the plant have now been monitored as far away as Glasgow in Scotland, which is not good (except that the sheep will now glow in the dark making it easier for randy Scotsmen to find their dates for the evening), and even China has started to get concerned about radioactive goods coming into their country and sending them back. You know you are in deep shit if your products are too toxic for even the Chinese to consume...

The wider impact is just beginning to come into focus as we have had steadily increasing radioactive readings further and further from the plant, and now comes news that radiation levels outside the plant are at levels that can kill you. This bodes ill not only for those brave souls currently sacrificing themselves in a desparate attempt to bring the plant under control, but for anyone that likes to breathe fresh air and eat food that doesn't microwave itself. The toll on the country of Japan and its citizens will likely be incredibly severe and will most likely be felt for many generations to come, the impact it has on the rest of the planet has yet to be determined. The one thing I do know for sure is that I won't be listening to a word anyone from TEPCO says about anything anytime soon..

Friday, March 25, 2011

America has some of the highest business tax rates in the world....Oh really?

The next time some mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, "taxed-enough-already", gormless republican voter spouts off about how Big Business in this country has to pay the highest taxes in the modern world, show them this story.

In a nutshell G.E. reported yearly profits of $14.2 BILLION dollars. Yes, that's BILLION with a 'B'.

How much of that was swallowed up in taxes?

None. Zip. Nada.

In fact, to rub salt in the wound, these corporate fat cats actually managed to get a tax REFUND. (I personally don't know what one of those is, I have heard of them, but haven't seen one in over ten years).

How much? $3.2 BILLLION dollars. Yes, that's BILLION with a 'B'.

So, be warned you tea-bagging foxx-noizze talking-points swallowing morons, the next time you spout off about corporate tax rates my knee will be coming in direct contact with your groin...

No-one, and I mean no-one that is that fucking stupid should be allowed to vote.

Have a great weekend all....grrrrrr

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Republicans re-discover the Constitution...

This morning news is breaking that the UN-sanctioned no-fly zone over Libya is losing popularity with some european countries. A cynic might note the strangely coincidental timing of that sentiment with the announcement that the USA has no intention of 'taking the lead' in this situation. This, of course, is really just code for "we're not about to pick up the whole tab to protect your oil interests whilst we're already stretched too thin doing that for ourselves". On the American front it's not much better either, as the republicans have all of a sudden remembered how the Constitution works when it comes to the Chief Executive committing US forces to war. They are now demanding that Obama give them specific answers on timelines and goals, you know, the things they never even bothered to quiz Bush the Lessor about before he started his two wars of aggression. Still, better late than never I suppose.

Whilst I applaud the republicans finally admitting that the US Constitution does exist, and is not "just a piece of goddamned paper" as bush jr once said, this is still nothing more than a cynical attempt to knee-cap the current Prez. Consider the similarities between the Libyan situation and the myriad of excuses used to get us into the Iraq quagmire. Both had a dictator that has murdered and tortured thousands of his own citizens, both men lined their own coffers with fabulous wealth whilst ignoring the general population, both attacked their neighbours without provocation  from time-to-time, and both sit on a shit-ton of oil. The difference? One military campaign was kicked off by a republican, the other one by a Democrat.

Don't believe me? Ask yourself this, did a single republican ever voice 'concerns' over Iraqnam? Did they ever publicly question their commander-in-chief during a time of war? Did they fuck...You would have been more likely to see little green men from Alpha Centauri dancing the polka on the floor of the Senate, butt nekkid, popping bing cherries out of their asses, than see a republican dare criticize the bush crusades. To my mind that makes these latest republican protestations nothing more than the clearest possible evidence that they are completely and utterly full of shit, and nothing more than morally bankrupt, raging hypocrites...

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Dear Nobel Peace Prize committee..

Sirs,

I just wanted to ask you a question about the specific requirements to be considered for this award. I have noticed that your most recent winner has yet to end one of the wars he inherited, has escalated the other one, and has now decided to take part in a third one. At some point he actually has to stop dropping bombs and killing people, right?

Signed,

Kim Jong Ill

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Breaking News: Obama has solved all the serious crime in America...

..he must have, otherwise why would he bother with this shit...

In case any of you were still labouring under the impression that the 'D' after the name of the guy in the Whitehouse meant 'Democrat' and not 'Dildo' (hey we're all getting fucked, deal with it) this should shatter that illusion once and for all. Today the President proposed sweeping new revisions of U.S. copyright laws that would make illegal streaming of audio or video content a federal felony, and allows the FBI to wire-tap those under suspicion.  Apparently there is an epidemic of teenagers illegally streaming episodes of 'Glee' across the nation, and that just has to be stopped. Whew! Thank god we have O-Man on the trail, to wire-tap those future felons as they sit around watching a group of over-amped and far too-talented teenagers sing and dance on the teevee machine...

I for one, am very glad that Obama has taken care of all of the other important shit on his plate so that he can focus on this sort of problem. It adds such a personal touch to his Presidency I think, especially now that he has brought to justice the torturers from the previous administration, and held accountable the Wall Street executives that single-handledly and without so much as a shot being fired, robbed the US Treasury of all of our money. Not just that but we can all rest easy now that meaningful health care reform has been enacted and all Americans have access to free medical care anytime they want it. We can breathe cleaner air because he shut down all of the formerly grandfathered coal-fired power stations and they can no longer pump their filth into the air, and we can all enjoy the coastline safe from the knowledge that deep-water drilling has been permanently stopped and that there will be no more oil spills......

And then I woke up...

Some of you may have detected a slight tinge of sarcasm in my post today, and you'd be right. At a time when we have at least three rogue governor's in WI, OH and MI that are busy ripping apart their respective State's for the benefit of their campaign donors/owners, when we have a young private, not yet convicted, being treated in direct contravention to the Geneva Conventions AND United Nations standards on prisoner treatment which Obama calls "appropriate", and you have the rethuglicans threatening to gut the Environmental Protection Agency, and make us the laughing-stock of the planet by officially denying the existence of Global Climate Change, the President and his team of crack political tacticians have decided that criminalizing Youtube viewers is the way to go....

Funnily enough the talk out of D.C. the other day was that the President was trying to figure out how to fire up his base for the next election just as he had done in 2008. Well Sir, I think it's fair to say that you've certainly got us fired up again. Just not the way you had "hoped" for...Methinks you'd better "change" your priorities, and pretty damned quickly or the only future you will be winning, is on the lecture circuit starting in Jan 2013.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

My thoughts and best wishes are with those suffering from the after-effects of the earthquake last week...

...and to the god-bothering assholes that somehow think  this is god's work against an atheistic/non-christian population may I say unequivocally FUCK YOU and your vengeful and cruel imaginery sky-daddy...

My one wish is that if Jesus really does come back to earth he finds these fuckers first...and then casts them into those fiery pits of hell they are so ready to condemn others to...I'd imagine the look of total surprise on their faces would take an eternity to wear off...

Friday, March 11, 2011

My head hurts....This weeks' Friday Follies isn't remotely funny...

This week President Hope 'n' Change signed an Executive Order authorizing the 'indefinite detention' of the folks held at Gitmo. That would be the same Gitmo that candidate Obama had promised to close within 12 months of getting into office because it was such a blight on the American name around the world. Well that didn't quite go as planned, so now apparently the fall-back position is to codify the bush policy of indefinite detention and basically lock 'em up and throw away the key. Yay! Chains you can believe in!!

Then at today's press conference the Nobel Peace Laureate blithely dismissed the conditions under which Bradley Manning is currently being held as "appropriate". I had to read the transcript of the Q&A again before I believed my lying ears. Live, on TeeVee, President Obama said that he was just fine with the inhumane treatment of a person who has yet to be found guilty of what he has been charged with. Shit, he hasn't even seen the inside of a courtroom yet, never mind see the evidence, but President "We don't torture" has okayed permanent solitary for a man that the law says has to be viewed as innocent before being proven guilty. Not just that, but Pfc Bradley Manning has to undergo conditions that the United Nations clearly defines as being torture.

Ordinarily I would be apoplectic with rage about this, afterall we expect this sort of 'plausible deniablity' bullshit from the republicans, they invented it, but to see the man that had promised to bring change to the country, to reverse the policies of the previous criminal administration, to right the wrongs just makes me shake my head in disbelief. I think I have finally reached the point where I have 'outrage fatigue'. After all of the cowering and caving done by this administration on things like health care, heating assistance for the poor, back-downs on the environment, I thought we had reached the bottom, but sadly I was sorely mistaken.

I am reminded of George Orwell's excellent part-history, part-cautionary tale, Animal Farm, specifically the part where the pigs 'Not satisifed with walking around upright, had also taken to wearing the farmer's clothes', and the sign on the barn had been changed to read "All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others". How sad it is to see that come true after so much promise.

I "hope" he is done with his "change" because I don't think we can take much more.

Have a great weekend you all...I'm going to drown my sorrows in some London Pride...cheers!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Attention American women..if you get pregnant you give up your rights...

In a frightening story from the nuttiest of the nutbag states, Florida, comes the news that a pregnant woman was confined to bed rest, against her will, by her doctor because the God-botherer was more concerned about the unborn fetus being miscarried than the well-being of the woman's other two post-birth fetuses. When the woman asked for a second opinion about her condition her doctor refused and contacted State authorities instead, who ordered her confined, and also authorized the doctor to use any procedure he felt like prescribing.

Think about that for a second ladies, according to the State of Florida it is okay for them to force you into hospital, and have the doctor perform any procedure on your person without your consent, if the unborn zygote you are carrying "might" be in danger. No second opinions, no right to appeal, just get your ass to bed and stay there until you deliver the baby.

The fetus was delivered stillborn in a forced cesarean section three days after the mother was admitted, and she promptly sued the state for violating her rights. Not surprisingly the right-wing Florida court ruled against her, but on appeal the Florida State Court of Appeals affirmed her rights had been violated and sided against the doctor and the lower court.

So, in a nutshell, the state imprisoned her, forced her to have invasive surgery, and then had the lower courts back them up. I'm sorry, are you fucking kidding me? Remind me, what country is this again?

This is stunning to me. I cannot comprehend that in this day and age women are being treated simply as baby delivery devices and not much else. These are very dangerous times and you ignore the risks at your peril.

Stay informed and stay involved.

Monday, March 7, 2011

The Governor of Wisconsin is clinically insane...Admits he hears voices...

Apparently the union-busting Governor of Wisconsin believes he is doing the work of the Lord. He claims that 'God' has told him what to do every step of the way, including what jobs to take, whom to marry and when to run for office.

So in other words a person that hears voices and then acts upon what the voices tells him has managed to be elected Governor of Wisconsin. What? Am I the only person that thinks that this shit is just crazy?

Why the fuck isn't he in a padded cell wearing a really nice long-sleeved jacket like every other person that claims they hear voices?

Ooooohhhh, that's right, it's because he said the voice belongs to "God"...That makes the "hearing voices" thing okay apparently...Quick question Governor, how do you know that's not "Satan" talking to you, or the "Tooth Fairy"?...Another question for you, did you actually read what God's kid Jesus (you know your "saviour" whom you pledged to "trust and obey") said about the poor and the sick? Did you miss the part about taking care of those that can't take care of themselves? (Matthew 25:40 and Matthew 5:5) How about the fact that the rich are denied access to "heaven" (Matthew 19:24). Was His message really 'Fuck the Unions'? I must have missed that part of the Bible.

Christians that are this delusional worry me...In fact, all "true believers" worry me, regardless of the brand of Jesus or Mohammed they smoke...but these cafeteria christians really worry me because they can so quickly deteriorate into rapturists when things start to go pear-shaped...
 
I am having a really hard time getting my head around the fact that this sort of batshit crazy religious mumbo-jumbo isn't being ridiculed and belittled for the rank hypocrisy that it is in the 21st century. Here we are as a species contemplating how best to protect Mother Earth (our only home) at the same time that we explore ever deeper into space through robotic probes and powerful telescopes, and yet we are still infested with pockets of these neanderthalsic cults that insist on flinging around their own poo and trying to kill each other with ever more sophisticated weapons.
 
God and his lad have been used by the religious nutters in this country for years to justify everything from slavery to the subjugation of women, and now union-busting makes the list. Great.
 
You know, if there is a God, He sure has a sick sense of humour...
 
 

Thursday, March 3, 2011

John Cleese comes to Northwestern University....sort of...

In a scene amusingly reminiscent of the Sex Ed scene from Monty Python's 'The Meaning of Life', there was a bit of rompy-pompy between two consenting adults, in front of a room full of other adults, after a lecture discussing human sexuality at Northwestern University the other day. Quite naturally the prudes and puritans have crawled out from under their rocks and have been scrambling over each other in their rush to condemn this prurient display of randy naughtiness. Trouble is, no-one else is really getting that worked up about it.

To be honest I haven't heard the reaction from the flying monkeys on the right, and I am sure that Fox New's self-appointed arbiter of sexual morality (except his own) Bill O'Reilly will chime in, and because it happened in Evanston, a suburb of Chicago, naturally this will be blamed on "The Liberals and/or Obama". Most likely both, but for the most part all it has done is raise a few eyebrows, and not much else.

I must admit I find that rather refreshing. What is also good to see is that the Administrators of the University have stood 100% behind the class, the professors and the students. This instead of the usual forelock tugging, bowing and scrapping that usually occurs when faced with a potentially embarrassing situation and the impending wrath of the falsely righteous prudes not far in the offing.

I congratulate them on their educational stance and have already submitted my request to attend the University this autumn. For just one class...

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The chicken and the egg....and chemists

Is it me or do Charlie Sheen and Moammar Gahdafi look like they share the same chemist? They both look like shit, they both ramble, and they're both about to crash. Badly. Good old Moammar thinks his people still love him, that's why he has to bomb them, you know, to let them know the feeling is mutual, and good old Charlie thinks it's perfectly normal to live with the two woman he's shagging at the same time under one roof. Oh boy, this is going to end in tears...

Speaking of which, is it telling that Charlie Sheen gets a one hour special about his new 'lifestyle' on the Idiot's Lantern tonight, and the impending civil war in Libya doesn't? I know that the citizens of this country are obsessed with celebrity and can barely find their own country on the map, let alone anyone else's, but seriously, the deluded ramblings of a deranged drug addict deserves an hour of primetime television, but the struggle for freedom for a country ruled by an insane despot doesn't?

I think it's a chicken and egg scenario, are the people stupid because of the tv programming, or is the tv programming stupid because the people watching it are as intellectually curious as a brick? Answers on a postcard please....