Thursday, October 6, 2011

Hell Freezes over...wherein the author feels kinda bad for Mooselini...sort of...you betcha...also...

News came late this past Wednesday evening that the former part-time governor of Alaska and full-time right-wing glory-hole grifter had finally decided NOT to run for President.

As I lept around my living room in joyous bounds of gratitude that we won't have to suffer that annoying-as-fuck whiny-voice of hers on the campaign trail for the next 18 months, came the news that someone infinitely more important had died suddenly. Steve Jobs had passed away at 56 years of age.

I am not a huge Apple computer fan having bought nothing but PC's my whole life (the exception being the Apple Lappy the kid got for xmas last year after her newest and most expensive laptop PC had comprehensively shit the bed less than 12 months after being purchased....fuck you very much Vista/Windooze 7...) but I have bought a plethora of different iPods over the years, both for myself and for others. They were simple to set up and use, worked like clockwork, and ran perfectly unless they were dropped (or dunked) more than a few times. He helped take the fear out of new-fangled gadgetry for idiots and morons like me. For this alone Steve Jobs belongs in Heaven.

I know that his iFans will be extremely iSad to hear of his iDeath, but there is one tiny, tiny glimmer of a silver-lining about the timing of his death, and that is that the announcement of his passing came literally minutes after Sister Sarah made her 'news' public, and thereby completely extinguished (hopefully her final) fifteenth minute of non-deserved fame. There is something poetic about that happenstance. An ignorant, bitter, uneducated, spiteful and lazy fourth-rate celebrity had her final moment of 'Me! Me! Me!' self-idolatry snuffed out by a nerdy visionary that helped educate millions around the world with the products that all sprang up from an idea that he and a mate conjured up in their garage.

And for that too, Steve Jobs,  iThank you.

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